Casablanca Redux by Michael Fairman

The day after last year’s Thanksgiving, I sojourned to Ingleside-On-The-Bay and thus crossed my personal “Rubicon”. In an odd twist of history and geography that led to Casablanca. The four days I spent with Marty and Monique began an adventure with the truth. Not only did Scientology work for me as it hadn’t for years in the church, but the time I spent with the “Kingpin” and his beautiful wife gave the lie to the torrent of crap about these two beautiful souls that was pouring from the mouths of those representing Miscavige and his sorry excuse for a religion.

As I say the Rubicon was crossed, because from then on my family and I were subjected to the various forms of garbage thrown at us by those who pride themselves on being spiritually enlightened. It also began a year of attempting to see through layer after filthy layer of what has been going on within corporate Scientology. With each revelation compounding the insanity, I decided to throw everything overboard. I was interested only in having Miscavige’s abuses come to light and acted upon. Screw everything else. Although my wife Joy had been helped by seeing Ingrid Smith, a field auditor, I, despite my earlier wins with Marty, was no longer interested — not in Solo NOTS, or being audited, or taking a course, or even reading a book; and I could no longer swallow the idea that Scientology was the only path and LRH the only and true pathfinder. I found that attitude arrogant and self defeating no matter from where it came.

But life has the continuing and annoying habit of asking us to confront it. So it was for our family of three. There was a barrage of “stuff” coming at us and we were not making great headway against it,  We had only Ingrid close by to turn to, so my daughter and I went back to her. During an amazing communication with us, Ingrid  mentioned how much fun it was for her to be solo auditing. I told her I never wanted to look an e-meter in the face again because of what a drudge it had become. She described the joy and freedom with which she audited, the ease with which things were handled, and the picture she painted was infectious. I also recalled the natural ease with which Marty had audited me. So then and there I decided on one more go-around with “the Tech” and made plans for a trip to Texas.

I left the day after Thanksgiving, exactly one year after my last visit. The symmetry appealed to me, but this time I would spend six days. I had booked my flight late in October, but by the time Thanksgiving week rolled around, I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go. But I remembered the sparkling time I’d had with Marty and Mosey, so carrying a wrapped drumstick and wing from the day before, I boarded my plane.

Marty met me at the airport as he did the Friday a year ago, and from that moment I knew things were going to be good. Aside from a couple of adventures we had shared personally during the year, his blog had kept us in continual communication. The friend I had made twelve months ago was now an old friend. I saw again that the drivel  Miscavige, his hired boobies, and the robotic sheeple spouted about Marty’s relationship with those who have left the church was truly absurd. No one kisses his feet, shines his shoes or falls before him on bended knee. He wouldn’t have it. While I was there we watched the film, “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”. He loved the leading character of Lizbeth. Why? Because she didn’t take any shit, was true to herself, had integrity, would fight for what she believed in, and was intelligent without shoving it in everyone’s face. That’s how he hopes everyone would be, and that’s what he expects of himself.

As before, we had conversations about a multitude of subjects, always returning to the theme of freedom – spiritual, personal and political, and the paths one can take to get there. He introduced me to Victor Frankl and Frederick Douglass, both of whom I read having major cognitions. The ease with which we had our conversations were continued into the auditing room, where day after day I uncovered the lies which I had constructed long ago to rob me of parts of myself. And I came to a number of realizations. Those who disparage Hubbard’s technology, for whatever reason, no longer have any significance for me. It is what it is for them and it is what it is for me. Those who disparage Marty are also of no significance to me. I know who he is both in and out of the auditing room. And the same is true regarding the works of L. Ron Hubbard. I can accept whatever moves me forward and reject the rest.

There is sunshine at Casablanca. The star that rides the sky from east to west every day;  the sunshine of welcome that Mosey bathes you with when you are in her company; the sunshine of truth that Marty is continually searching for no matter where he finds it. Juxtapose this against the dark insanity that is corporate Scientology and I saw that it was also no longer significant.

I had a wondrous six days. In Monique I once again found a gracious, kind, intelligent and compassionate being. Thanks to Marty, who shares those qualities, I again found solo auditing and more of myself. I also found something even more valuable — what it means to walk the “middle path”. I left Casablanca with a renewed energy and purpose, a heightened love and respect for these two unique people, and the knowledge and confidence that our family of three can take on whatever “stuff” life decides to hurl at us.

- Michael

More On Michael:

Michael’s Declaration of Independence

Michael Fairman – A Resurrection Story

Michael in action


186 responses to “Casablanca Redux by Michael Fairman

  1. As I read this wonderful letter it stirs my interest in getting audited again. Knowing that it would take my life savings, knowing I would be totally harassed, knowing that what I would need to have done would be stretched out forever with problems just made me not want to go to Flag.

    Now I hear how Marty is creating what we all wanted. A wonderful local group of people reaching for the same goal in a very safe happy space.

    It was that way in the beginning sort of.. money has always been the driving force. If they would have only offered the upper levels at Flag all would have probably been okay.

    It is amazing how many SP’s made all the way up the bridge and to top management.

    Which leads me to this question: “Can a SP even be an Auditor?”

    • joe

      You asked (perhaps rhetorically) ..“Can a SP even be an Auditor?”

      NO. Not in any sense of the word.

      An SP who is feigning at being an auditor is really never anything more than an IMPLANTER. It is the total inversion of Auditing.

      Eric S

      • Li'll bit of stuff

        Eric —– BULLSEYE ! —– Thanks!

        Li’ll bit

      • WindWalker,
        I think it’s VERY important for many people that you clarify
        a few things. C of $ declares many, many people (including Marty and Mike) “SP’s”. Are they? That’s merely a label created to STOP people from talking to people C of $ doesn’t want them to talk to: Period.

        Of course there are *some* real SPs, and for sure they cannot be auditors, for reasons you state. I just think it’s important that this distinction is made, as per what you’ve said, None of we who have been declared “SP” can audit, and are only implanters. True? Well, C of $ would LIKE people to believe that.
        Nuttin could be farther from the truth.
        Love to ALL :) TLC

        • Tory

          Yes… Of course you are absolutely right.

          I was assuming Joe was talking about “clinical SPs” , not “political SPs”.
          Perhaps this will help clear things up….

          What I call a “clinical SP” is the person described in Scientology Technical issues as a “Suppressive Person”. In common parlance they would mostly equate to a “sociopath”.

          What I call a “political SP” is simply someone that has been assigned that label, either “officially of unofficially”, by some “church entity”. Normally that entity would be HCO, or the Ethics and Justice portion of Scientology Organizations. The assignment of the label SP, by an ethics entity, (or anybody else) no more makes someone a “true SP” than a similar assignment would make someone a “true OT”.

          In all my 40+ years as a Scientologist I can recall actually personally meeting only one person I would call a “true” or “Clinical SP”. I have not counted David Miscavige here as I have never personally met him, but there is every indication that he is a “true SP”.

          I would have to guess that probably about 98% of those who have been declared “suppressive persons” (SPs) by “the church of David Miscavige’s Scientology”, and even before that, are not even close to being true SPs.

          I consider that it was a very poor idea of L. Ron Hubbard’s to use the same word to describe two hugely different things. It has caused untold confusion, wrong indication, out PR, and misunderstandings.

          I hope this clears up any confusions that anyone may have had regarding my statement above.

          Eric S

          • Hi Eric,

            You are right I was talking Clinical.

            I don’t believe a SP could be an auditor, they would stick out like a sore thumb, if they could even get involve. If anyone really thought this through it would be impossible for most indies to be SP’s since many were auditors in good standing.

            I, like you, I have met only one person I would consider a clinical SP, I suspected him because of prior bizarre behavior, the final act that put him over the edge, he tripped and spilled the spaghetti his mother made for us for dinner on the floor, then proceeded to call her every name in the book for putting it in that pan… it truly was crazy…

    • An SP can even be YOU and then you lie to yourself because you are an SP and say you’re not an SP and believe it! :)

  2. Michael Fairman

    Thank you for your post. It is good to know that you have decided to continue with your auditing, on your own terms.

    I also gave up much chance of ever proceeding up the OT levels, many years back. It has only been recently that I have started to look at the possibilities of actually doing them.

    Somehow I had come to the conclusion that “it really wasn’t worth the effort.” This had a lot to do with the fact that I thought the whole thing was “out exchange”, on the part of the “church”. For me, it simply didn’t seem viable for me to have to become a slave to money in order to achieve spiritual freedom. Perhaps I was just lazy, but the bottom line was that, after a certain point, (after my FPRD in 1981ish) none of the “auditing” that I was getting seemed to be “paralleling” my case, and in fact, was “stirring it up” and leaving it unhandled. The estimate of how long it would take to get the “set-ups and elegibility” in order to even start the OT levels, was SEVEN intensives….(87 1/2 hours!) ( keeping in mind I had already had approximately 8 intensives, (100 hours) of basically WASTED (read “abusive”) “auditing” since I had been acknowledged Clear. I knew right there that this was not my case that the “church” was planning to “audit”, because I am a pretty “A to B” PC.

    But… somehow I decided to get L 12 in the independent field (Pierre Ethier), and I found myself being DUPLICATED.

    Well… long story short… I am now working towards putting things in place so that I can proceed up the OT levels. I am actually starting to look forward to it! I am not particularly looking for “relief from” some kind of suffering, I simply want to go on that particular path of discovery, to augment my discoveries through the study of Scientology and Dianetics, and the living of life.

    Thank you Michael, and all you others who carry the flag for Spiritual Freedom.

    Eric S

    • Unless you’ve had a very invasive lobotomy, their set ups estimate ain’t even in this universe.

      • Eric
        I’ve been back from Marty’s two days and am experiencing the calm I wrote about in answer to Dylan’s post.
        The sense that I can just go in and handle without being burdened by all the garbage you mentioned in and of itself has created a huge space. It then seems to be a simple matter to communicate with ease I never experienced before. Add to that the concept of the meter being an acknowledgement of what one knows is happening, which is so freeing I want to fly. Marty made that possible by helping me remove the layers and layers of significances that had been piled on. And what I have been left with is the simplicity of it. I do see that spiritual freedom is in the offing. Everything else that is swirling around is chaff.

        • Michael,

          Splurge on your new or rekindled beingness. One deserves everything that they are capable of creating.

          Another God stands tall and calmly surveys his own universe. it is a beautiful thing to see.

          Eric S

      • Marty

        I think that a “very invasive lobotomy” was the purpose of at least three of those intensives that I received.

        Anyway…I DID survive, and I AM stronger, and since they could not make it “stick” it will be certain to rebound back onto them. (the “them” that I am referring to here pretty certainly “rolls back” to David Miscavige.) I am not about to fixate on DM, but I work towards him someday realizing the magnitude of his betrayal to us all. The path that he has chosen is plenty dark enough that everything else will pale by comparison. He was certainly already a tortured being… This lifetime he has outdone himself. It will be a long and gruesome path for him to get back to the lightness of freedom and responsibility.

        I just realized that what he has done is to firmly place himself in opposition to Theta, and that places him squarely within the realms of being MEST. It is not going to work out well for him.

        Eric S

  3. Surviving the Cult of Miscavige and coming out in one piece with sanity and self-respect – pricey.
    Riding on a the crest of a ginormous wave of theta moving on up into the stratosphere – priceless.
    What did that fellow say about communication being the universal solvent?
    Whew!!! Wow!!!

  4. Michael Fairman

    Thank you for your earlier comments. You are a continual inspiration, a warrior that has few peers, and a beautiful spirit who also happens to be a beautiful woman. I wish you and your family the happiest of holidays

  5. FROM ALEX CASTILLO The Million Dollar Question


    39 years ago, after carefully and without misunderstoods studying and duplicating a number of books and other works by LRH, fully conscious of what I was doing and after having fully understood what the Dianetics and Scientology purposes were all about, and having personally experienced the effects of what I have studied, I signed a billion year contract , it’s main purpose being “TO PUT ETHICS IN ON THIS PLANET AND THE UNIVERSE”. My interpretation of such commitment, having understood what Dianetics and Scientology were capable of in terms of freeing Humanity of Aberration by the correct application of the technologies ( Tech and Admin) developed by LRH, was, unmistakably, one that matched Common Sense and Well Meaning for myself and the Human Race. I was happy to dedicate my entire present life and future track to such purpose, a purpose which is still very much part of my universe, even if I don’t audit people
    and even if I am not involved in regular Scientology activities.

    It was because of my years of extensive training and experience with LRH’s work that my early warning sytem kicked in and I left the group when David Miscavige’s influence started to show in 1981, after 10 years of serving as a dedicated Flag staff member.
    Many years later (when the Internet became available to me) I started to learn about how Miscavige was corrupting what took so many years to create, and it upset me to no end, but there was nothing I could do about it, being a regular working man in the “wog” world and tottaly disconnected from the Scn world. When the Internet became available to me I followed the news first from the XSO website, then to my old friend Nancy Many’s book site, then
    Mark Hedley’s expose about his escape from the Cult of Miscavige, then to Marty’s departure from the hell hole, then the creation of this blog, then to Mike Rinder’s escape and up to PT. Every bit of it. So I am not lacking info, including present time. For anyone who would question my words, I am an well informed old time Sea Org member and not talking out of my ass.

    Marty’s blog has been so far a place where I can at any time, expect truthful statements and I cannot feel anything else but admiration and respect for all those who, in spite of how they have been attacked or of their fears of repraisal from David Miscavige and his band of highly paid lawyers and blind followers, they have come out and told the truth about the criminal activities of the Church of Scientology Corporation led personally by David Miscavige. But…..

    Here is my common sense and True Justice sense kicking in, no offense intended, and here is the Million Dollar question:

    How come, in spite of all the witnesses and evidence of David Miscavige’s criminal violations of the US (and other countries) laws there has been no clear attempt by all people the affected to bring up legal criminal charges against him? So far all the world can see is a hot PR battle between “apostates” and the Church of Scientology.

    Tit for Tat. We tell on Miscavige and he figures a way to “tell on us”, thus creating his desired “reasonable doubt” in the public’s mind and creating a stuck flow (nothing really happens). Publicized witness accounts of Miscavige’s crimes exposed to the public vs. Miscavige’s legal machine responses seem to be causing mainly a “split jury”/”hung jury”, hence “mistrial” (stuck flow) and in the meantime, while Joe Public thinks there is not enough evidence to condemn Miscavige and his cult, he is laughing all the way to the bank!

    Is the lack of legal action because it is perceived that a legal battle requires unlimited funds like he has and we don’t have a chance in hell to win? With all the evidence and witnesses available, it shouldn’t take too much to prove a case against him in spite of his wealthy legal machine which can only defend Miscavige by telling lies or twisting the truth, while a case against him would only consist of verifiable TRUTH.

    Is it because of a perception that if one attacks the “church” in such way one could damage the name of Scientology or one’s eternity? The truth is that one’s eternity is one’s responsibility and the name of Scientology is already pure mud in the eyes of Joe Public.

    I know my voice is just a small one amongst so many of you on this blog, but again, my long term observation tells me that this PR battle is not getting very close to what is required: David Miscavige brought to justice for: Kidnapping, Assault and battery, Human Trafficking and most important, Fraud (by selling products he never delivers) plus EVADING TAXES by making his Money Making Organization POSE as a tax exempt religion.

    Why, with so many live witnesses and so much evidence of his breaking the law there has been no attempt to form a class action lawsuit against Miscavige’s organization? Why is it that individuals are not contacting their local authorities and filing criminal charges against David Miscavige?
    Some say Mark and Mike will not follow that path because of
    “mutual out-ruds” with Miscavige. Personally I don’t believe that to be the case because everything I have seen on this blog rings true to me.

    And that is my question to all of you who post here. WHY? Isn’t it time to get the criminal head of Corporate Scientology and his minions to face the criminal charges they must be charged with, based on the law of the United States of America and other countries?

    And to Michael Fairman, I say to you what I have always believed: Scientology works and it is UNKILLABLE. But we must do our best to defend it against those who want to kill it, i.e. David Miscavige and his band of law braking followers.

    Alex C

    • Alex,

      The short, and somewhat unsatisfactory answer is that in the United States “justice” is difficult to obtain through criminal justice procedures, especially when the crimes are hidden behind a First Amendment shield. ANd when you have a lot of money you can buy a lot of protection (see how many Wall St criminals have been prosecuted). Same in the civil justice system — though even more the case of “he who has the most money wins.”

      But don’t take this answer to mean that nothing can ever be done. It certainly can. And there is an inevitability to the ultimate outcome as sooner or later, whether through legal action or PR (and the ultimate result of that is a continuous erosion of internal support and an emboldening of external forces which at some point see the once formidable enemy and so no longer so formidable).

      The inevitable end is coming. It never seems fast enough. But the walls are crumbling and the tide is inexorably rolling in to swamp the sandcastles of corruption of the RCS.

      • Li'll bit of stuff

        Mike —Thanks for the “Eagle’s Eye View”

        It’s also clear the “crumbling” (and cracks & fissures)
        are being caused INTERNALLY, by the inability of
        David Madamage to restrain his compulsion to DESTROY,everyone and everything within his reach,
        which is now,thankfully shrinking FAST!!!!!!!!

        Just another (yawn!) CON-MAN getting his desserts

  6. One cannot look at that photograph without bursting into a smile. A beautiful theta picture of some powerful people that are having FUN.

    Well done to all.

  7. Michael,
    I just arrived here in CC and I completely duplicate your thoughts every time I’m here. A matter of fact, I decided to bring my 73 year old mom to experience what we all have. Thanks for sharing your experience.

    • Michael Fairman

      Yes Mosey told me you were coming. It’s wonderful what your mother is about to experience. I look forward to seeing your smiling faces very soon

  8. Michael,
    Thank you for another look into your life. I love reading your writings, it makes me feel as if I were there with you. What you said, “But life has the continuing and annoying habit of asking us to confront it” is so true. The longer you put off confronting those things the worse you feel. It is so much better to deal with things and I am happy that you can do that again with someone you trust. Marty and Mosey are amazing people.

  9. Pingback: Michael Fairman Sues his Chiropractor — in Part to Legitimize the Independent … | Chiropractic San Diego

  10. Get drunk on life, there’s nothing else.

    Chapeau Mr. Fairman Chapeau.

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