A Trip to Scientology Inc Headquarters

Independent Scientologists Jim Logan and Sinar Parman recently took a trip to David Miscavige’s Scientology Inc Headquarters near Hemet California.  Here is Jim’s report.

I went back to Gold.  I was last there in October 1992.  It appeared bigger in memory than it was yesterday. Yesterday it seemed like the buildings had actually shrunk.  There was “more” of the place, with the Castle, the Berthing buildings (I couldn’t see theRTCBuildingor the grotesque Bonnyview from the roadside), but even these seemed to  physically be withdrawn,  actually shrinking back. Not there.  It was just something I noticed even in the real excitement  I felt at returning to this place.  It was a palpable perception of even the building structures themselves pulling back and getting a smaller space.  Of course, I’ve had a lot of auditing in the past few years too, plus some really extensive study so maybe my viewpoint has shifted a bit J

I had the intention of returning there for the salutary act of Confront, Reach and Withdraw on the spaces that I was forbidden to be in, but, prior to that prohibition, had put so much of my own life and free theta, and my literal blood, sweat and tears, into creating.

I also wanted to bring a simple bouquet of flowers for the memory of my wife Annie and our life we created there, and in honor of the dedication and devotion of her own to a purpose we both embrace.

As I drove from LA toHemet, on the way to meet Sinar Parman, a fellow former Int Base staff member, and someone who I feel a special relationship with as he too worked personally with L. Ron Hubbard and knew and loved Annie,  I was envisioning what it would be like to drive up to the gate, get out of the vehicle and approach the Main Booth.  I saw in this, Danny Dunnigan, coming out of the guard booth, in his black uniform.  He didn’t recognize me at first, as I saw myself approaching with the small bundle of flowers, handpicked from the garden at Scott Campbell’s house by his wonderful wife Karry, for me, for that day and for Annie.

But then he responded, with hostility and refused to accept the token and went back in the booth, picking up the phone and spreading the word – Jim Logan is here.

So there I was, in fact, driving up to the Main Booth at Golden Era Productions, with Sinar in the passenger seat, instant hatted on the little Canon digital camera, and both of us coming back.

I stopped and looked through the darkened glass and there was Danny, pretty much as I had viewed him earlier on my drive in.  I picked up the bouquet of fresh garden flowers, and stepped outside.

I noticed that Danny didn’t get up, there seemed to be a communication lag of reaction there, and I made several steps toward the little structure, hoping someone would emerge so I could ask if I could leave the token in memory of my recently passed wife.  One of their fellow staff.

The door on the side opened part way, and Kevin Caetano put his head out.  I said something on the order of “I’ve come with these flowers for Annie, would it be possible for me to leave them?”

Without answering me Kevin Caetano in a sort of fearful hostility, and without looking directly at me, or Sinar for that matter, said “You’re trespassing, get off the property”.

I repeated my request, as I wasn’t sure he’d actually heard me since it didn’t appear to me he was actually looking at me and he certainly wasn’t communicating TO me.  He was kind of oddly, angrily growling at someone, something else, looking askance and growling this little tiny, hostile growl at his imagined enemy, out to destroy all that is good, to destroy him.

If it weren’t for the randomity of the moment, I think I would have guffawed at the circumstances, in complete reflexive rejection.

Here I was, offering a bouquet of flowers in memory of a loved one – to a Church of Scientology –  and I was greeted with a terrified hate and barely moving to even open the door of the darkened little room these men lived and worked in, all they could manage  to expel was a weakly bilious croak “You’re trespassing, you’re trespassing” and then shrink back into this tiny cave, closing the window and hunkering down again.

As some sort of “buffer” against the evil Sinar, me and the flowers I offered, presented to them, they had a non-Scientologist it appeared, ask us to leave directly.  Kevin wouldn’t talk to us, only this presumed Private Investigator, who relayed the orders.

We got back in the car, turned around, and went to the west end of the property, just past the “NO TRESPASSING” sign, at the edge of the orchard that Sinar himself had helped to plant.

We parked and got out, to complete the process of Confront, Reach and Withdraw, and for me to place somewhere on the side of the property line, the flowers.

As we walked up theGilman Springs Roadtoward the Castle, Danny raced by in the Security truck, blackened windows and all, and went to park behind where I’d left our car on the side of the road.  We started to walk back, me wondering whether I’d parked on public property and  not wanting to have them tow the vehicle in some puerile bit of nonsense.  I approached while they peered in the empty SUV and walked about it, writing down the license plate, and as I did they got back in their truck and when I got within about 20 feet, they pulled out, and parked again in front.  Some silly cat and mouse game.  I realized I was parked freely and left them to do whatever it was they thought they were doing.

Back toward the Base we went.  I stopped at the first place I wanted to confront, the old golf course, from the first flood way back when, that destroyed it and where on Saturday renovations, in the base “all hands”, I had gone to mark off the area as it was planned to be a large garden to grow self-sufficiently and feed the staff.

We continued up the highway, at one point, and right beside us a giant Dodge 3500 truck blasted their horn sounding like a ship’s foghorn.  I thought it might have been Security playing around, but it was actually a public person, expressing their somewhat less than cordial affinity for whom they thought were Gold staff.

I saw the Castle for the first time aside from photos. It came after I left in 92.  A nice enough place.  Then we came to OGH. Old Gilman House, the home of the former owner of Gilman Hot Springs Spa.  I’d spent the last few days I was at Gold at OGH.  Along with Jesse Prince and Fred Houck, both “pariah” at the time, and on the line to “route out” of the Sea Org.

My time there was spent in utter turmoil, with no sleep as I was way too enturbulated, and crying at the losses I was experiencing in real time, guarded and unable to speak to my wife, or return to the apartment were we lived. The only communication coming from Jackson who was trying to get me sessionable to be Sec Checked before being removed from the property.  I never did get sessionable in the several days I was there, getting only snips of sleep, and unable to even eat, doing nothing more really than literally beg to see Annie and protesting “But you’re supposed to be the good guys”.

I reached for it, I withdrew from it and continued the process.  Bing, attention freed up we moved on.

I glanced over the swamp,  and up toward the LRH Music Studio where I last worked.  I could see “the Hole”, and we stopped across the road, on the south side, to look over the garage.  Reached and withdrew and was able to completely have the space, permeating it, and the surrounding grounds.

On we went, this time just east of the garage and viewing the parking lot behind and the rear of MCI.

Here Sinar and I reminisced about the days when we would muster together back of the Massacre Canyon Inn for Saturday Renos, the whole of the base, and all of us looking forward to a day outside in “civies” and “grungies”, able to express some little style in our choice of clothes and enjoy the grounds that we were busy creating.

Sinar’s haunt, MCI, as a chef and his own life spreading through the building, withdrawing, reaching and a return of ownership for spaces he creates.

Up the road a bit and I could see F&E over the roof of the Lodges.  LRH Films and Equipment, where Annie worked and where I proposed to her, and why the flowers in the first place. There was a symbolism to this, and a recalling of my happier days.

I had bought them one day in LA.  I’d written a note for her “ Say uncle, there’s more where these came from”.  I’d dropped them off with Roberta Lantz to give to Annie and went back to my post, just after supper.  Later that night Annie called me and asked me to come to F&E; she wanted to talk.

I got there sometime late in the evening, maybe 10:30 p.m., and asked to see her.  I was shown to an anteroom of the darkroom where she worked.  I waited, leaning up on a counter, with my arms folded across my chest, ready for rejection, hoping for her hand.  She came out of the darkroom, in her white uniform but with a powder blue sweater on for the cold temperature of the space.  I think it had a little design on it, maybe a teddy bear.  I don’t recall exactly as I was so taken by the color and her hair over her shoulders and the figure of this woman I loved so deeply.

She stood across from me, maybe four feet away and looked me straight in the eye and paused.

I stood, as cavalierly as I could mock up,  but excited beyond description and held the look and the silence.

She began to speak.. softly saying… “Uncle.”

And our life began with our first real kiss.

Returning to Gold, and looking at that space, I did cry.  But this time, it was different than all the tears I’ve shed over these years we’ve been forced apart.  This time there was an end to it.  She’s not there, she is free again, and we know each other with no space or time to separate us as beings.  We won Dave.  There is nothing you can do to tear asunder what we alone create.

With R&W complete on this spot, I felt very much awake, very much aware and continued on, east of the Main Booth.

Sinar said he didn’t want to go on, up the road.  I urged him forward as I needed to continue and I wanted a suitable spot to place the bouquet.  As we went up and came directly across from the Villas, while I was looking at the various places on the other bank of the road, the back of theMainGoldBuilding“36” as it was known,  I felt something and my attention went to the Villas.

There it was, Dave’s offices, and as clear as the exhaust from a dump truck, a black roiling mass of hate and frustration.

I asked Sinar “Do you see that?”

“Yes” he replied. “I’ve seen since the Guard Booth.  That’s why I didn’t want to come up here”.

I called across the road to Dave. “Hey, come on out, you pussy”.  And in that moment, with ZERO affect on me from this being’s entheta and hatred, I laughed and realized just how pitiful a coward he really is.

I was done.  End Phenomena reached and I could have at will any space there, including Dave’s, and penetrated all through it.  I owned it.  I could let it be.

As we sauntered back Sinar realized it was probably about dinner time for the staff.  It was then I noticed that we had seen absolutely no one from the Base, save a brief fearful encounter by the Guards.  In fact, the only person that came close to us appeared to be a non-Scientology PI that was in the area of the Main Booth, and had been filming us.

As I thought about the poor staff, kept within their walls, blinds drawn and in the “intruder” drill, hungry, I thought we’d better walk a bit faster and let them at least have their supper.

Walking back we reached a marked curb where a public bus stop had a sign.  There beside it was a nice large stone, and I placed the flowers, carefully removing the twist tie so there was no reason to charge me with littering.

Out of the booth came the non-Scientology PI.

“You can’t leave that there.”

“It’s a public bus stop”.  I answered as we walked by.

“Are you refusing to remove them?”

“It’s a public bus stop”.  I replied again.

He asked twice more, I responded similarly, and couldn’t help but smile.  After all, they were a bouquet of flowers for a loved one, and this was the argument he was having, representing a Church?

He walked up to the spot where I’d lain them, and I decided to pull out the Canon and film him taking them away.  I don’t know how or why, but as soon as I aimed the camera, he stopped.  He didn’t get to the memoriam, but turned around and carried on filming Sinar and me.

I didn’t see him take away the flowers.  Perhaps he saw what it was, he realized himself what I had placed, and maybe, that which is good in him, the angels of his better nature, stayed his progress.  I’ll say that is true.  Even if it isn’t it’s what he would choose were he to be who he really is.

A few seconds of this reciprocal video game, and I was done.  It was so silly.

As we walked back, passing Qual on the other side, and MCI on our side, both places we’d worked with fervor and purpose, we came again to “the Hole”.

This time, with my process complete, I could see a different thing over the Hole than I’d seen first time passed, or up at the Villas.  This perceivable mass was thinner, with no hate, and more of an apathy, a dark sort of death pall. I’ve seen this at funerals, which is what it reminded.

It was then that I noticed something about the whole place.

It had no life.

Gone was the vigor I’d recalled.  Gone was that feeling of excitement, and purpose, and hope and joy that I completely sensed as I lived and worked there from early 86, just after LRH had left.

All that was there, the only visible life energy, was Dave Miscavige’s hateful, angry bluster-mass, and the thin apathetic pall over the Hole, with all else noticeably absent, even the Guards unable to speak and needing a via.

I looked at this once bustling hive of purpose and the postulate of freedom for beings in all places and saw it was bereft of the real life that animated it.  The life and creation of beings like Sinar and myself.

As we got to the car, Sinar got up an artistic urge and wanted to take shots of me in the fading sunlight.

I was happy.  So I stood where he wanted me and he reeled off some pix.

My happiness is expressed by the awareness that I am free to create anything I want.  I created spaces at Gold, building a large majority of the places I saw at one time on the track.  Here is a new unit of time, and what lies ahead is the infinity of future.

For those at Gold.  There will come a day when you muster in MCI and someone else will speak to you collected there, other than David Miscavige.

You will be told “It is over” once again, only this time it’s  the end of the torturous years.  The end of the toiling, with nothing to show.  The end of the reversal of your goodwill and intention and malignment of your being by this single Suppressive Person.  The end of the “ogre” and the return of truth and cause to you.

You will be “shell-shocked” and dazed.  You’ll be asked to walk freely among the areas you choose, leave if you want to, as the gates are opened, but just walk and talk to whomever you wish and whatever you please.

You are being given full pay and a fair exchange for you work.  Go to the canteen, splurge.  Go to town, buy whatever you want.  If you come back, it is on your own determinism.  We’ll be doing some Group Processing next.  I think you’ll like it.  But it is your choice to be here for it.

It is time to deal with the past and clear it.  To be here in the present.  To decide what is the future.

There are those of us who wished,  who have come here to help you as we can – to be truly FREE.

227 responses to “A Trip to Scientology Inc Headquarters

  1. The intent you had, to leave flowers for Annie in remembrance is known. By her, and you. And as much as Miscavige would want to take that from you, he cannot. Ever. Not ever.

  2. Thank you Jim for the wonderful moving story.
    “She’s not there, she is free again, and we know each other with no space or time to separate us as beings.”
    So beautiful!

  3. Wow! Thank you Jim. You definitely made Annie so proud. What an amazing being you are!

  4. I stared the SO in the eyes in the 90′s and left because I saw it souring. I left somebody there that I loved. She is out now and that’s the release I needed. Your story brought tears to my eyes.

  5. Thanks Jim. My eyes got wet while reading it for you and Annie and for the lack of life there.
    Thank you for bringing back the memories and seeing it again.
    David

    • Dave,
      We made that space. It is our life that brought it TO life. And the amazing thing is we have that much life still, and can do it wherever and whenever we please. We are as whole as we ever were and ever will be.

      What’s next?

      Whatever we want.

  6. Jim, that was so…..healthy. I’m very proud of you for confronting that which must be confronted, and for reaching the e.p. of the process. In a way, you took all of us there, and we experienced that e.p. with you.

    Yes, someday soon, the staff at Int will come to life once more, and live and work by their own self-determinism, just as you described. As will the whole of the Scientology community around the world.

    Thank you.

  7. Jim,

    Thanks for sharing your very touching and tender story! I’m glad you found peace there. As you so aptly stated:
    “Returning to Gold, and looking at that space, I did cry. But this time, it was different than all the tears I’ve shed over these years we’ve been forced apart. This time there was an end to it. She’s not there, she is free again, and we know each other with no space or time to separate us as beings. We won Dave. There is nothing you can do to tear asunder what we alone create.”

    Lovely! And you are a kind man.

    Much love, Midge

  8. Jim,

    This is truly a love story for the ages. You’ve gone down a long, hard road and come out the better man for it. Your strength and integrity serve as an inspiration to us all.

    I can think of no man better equipped to establish Standard Qual in the Independent Scientology field. With your help, we can ensure that Ron’s legacy of Dianetics and Scientology technology is correctly and successfully applied to the benefit of all.

    Thank you for sharing this intimate part of your life with us. And thank you for being there for us

    L, Scott

  9. Your humble servant

    Jim,

    Thank you so much for this moving and eloquent story!

  10. Hello Jim,
    I just wanted to say thank you for sharing this story. I found it both beautiful and heartbreaking. All the best to you and Annie.

  11. Karry Campbell

    Jim,

    So very happy that you were totally at cause there. To have the confront without the BPC must have drove them nuts.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts with all of us and having such a great hope/postulate for those you’ve had to leave behind.

    I know that you really want everyone to have the 100% Standard LRH Tech so that they may actually have the true gains that LRH intended. Thank you for going around and assisting those that need your help and/or have lost their way. The way out is the way through – and you have the wonderful gift of knowing and teaching correctly the correct way.

    It’s been great having you here.

    Love,
    Karry

  12. NIce Jim. Very Nice. To be Cause over DM’s suppression personally experienced in that environment with that most basic of Scientology processes, a contact assist, just as LRH did in RJ 67 in returning to the place of injury. And really funny that DM was unable, UNABLE to come out and say Hi or even F. U. Talk about NO Confront.

    The Ecclesiastical Leader of the Church of Scientology was AFRAID to come out and talk to Jim Logan and Sinar Parman. Instead he shut down the base. I suppose because in DM’s world they don’t have the tech of confront or the PTS/SP tech. Shit howdy-sorry, of course they don’t.

    So where does that place him (DM) on the scale of confront? (rhetorical)

    Where does that place him on the tone scale? (rhetorical)

    To all those still in the church. The INT BASE was shut down because One Jim Logan came to deliver FLOWERS in remembrance of his wife Annie.

    Even the guards were unable to look directly at him.

    Do you continue to believe (delusionally) that this is actually Scientology?

    Going up lines to INT apparently now means that your ability to confront others goes out the bottom. Just where is DM’s TR-0? (rhetorical) Isn’t the ability to confront anyone in any situation the E/P of the Pro-Tr’s course? Can it be that DM is not a product of this course? (rhetorical)

    Or, is it that confronting FLOWERS is top scale and DM hasn’t yet reached that pinnacle of spiritual evolution? Is this DM’s Homonovis, or is that HomoPhobic?

    Good to hear the story Jim. Pathetic on DM’s reaction.

  13. Jim, that was amazing, beautiful, deep. You all sound like battle fatigued warriors. I left Scientology in 86, so I do not have your experiences. But all I want to do is hug and thank each one of you that went through that dark gauntlet. You did it for truth, service and love. Such strength you’ve acquired!

    Somehow I feel, know deep within myself, that this Independence Movement has a bright future. There are some truly great souls here.

    That’s how I see it.

  14. Jean-François Genest

    Wow Bravo ! Great experience, and quite instructive.
    Well done on your wins and E.P. :-)
    I am glad you found closure and peace. Θ

  15. Thank you Jim for your beautifully written story. It was evocative and poignant and I have a great deal of respect for you and Sinar in confronting the past and drawing it into the present and perhaps the ripples of your good will will reach out to those who are still enchained.

    Sowing the seeds of hope, even in apparently infertile grounds may sometimes germinate into flowering blooms in the future.

    Best Regards

    Andrew

    • Tony DePhillips

      Andrew,
      Is it possible that we twinned for awhile at Flag on some OT training? You look familiar. I think I recall that you were in the painting business.

  16. Beautiful, glorious, applied religious philosophy.
    Thank you

  17. Jim, I was there with you every inch of the way. When you talked about Int being dead, devoid of life, i got chills all over. It would take a great evil to kill off the productivity of the base. But Davey did it.

    Carry on mate. Great story.

    ML Tom

  18. Nice one Jim. Very nice.

  19. My God man, you almost had me crying a couple times, a grown tough man, and then… full on blow down, crying like a baby. My God.

    Thank you for such a personal, warm and enlightening story.

    Fuck you Davey.

  20. Beautiful moment Jim and Sinar, I was so glad to have you in my company in out 8 hour session today. It was so perfect.

    Mike and Betsy

  21. Gary Morehead a.k.a Jackson

    Jimbo,

    You know what I mean when I write….

    A double fist bump to you……

    A Big Ol’ lasting bear hug…….

    A wet smooch where ever you want it……

    Thank you my good friend!

    Annie – I, we and all did and will always love you!

    – Jackson

  22. Jim, you did a real good thing; for yourself, and for all of in the independent field. Huge confront on your part, and you came out on top. You have done a lot for us all. My highest compliments to you.
    Such a unique and wonderful experience you relayed to us. Thank you.
    Roy

    • Roy…remember me? John Warnes…Hope you are doing well…the old days were really something…no regrets…but glad they are the ‘old’ days john

  23. Jim that was a great story. I was right there with you and Sinar as you walked up the road and described the property and buildings. I need to do that Confront and Reach and Withdraw sometimes. I felt uneasy walking around the Complex in Pac a few years ago. It felt so unsafe there.

    You are right about the Int base being lifeless. From all the videos and photos I agree. It used to be a beehive of activity back in the days we were there.

    Thanks to you and Sinar for sharing your trip and great photo!

  24. What a story. Great song!
    Last Sunday I met Jim and Sinar in person for the first time at an Indie LRH birthday party. Both exude alot of Theta. Jim and I are working on a Colorado project to get his qual services there-I used to live there and I know alot of people there. Colorado will be in very good hands.

  25. Beautiful story!

  26. Awesome! Well done. Thank you very much for sharing this :-)

  27. Li'll bit of stuff

    Jim, you set out with a purpose! Run reach & withdraw on that
    piece of real estate and to leave a token bouquet for your
    beloved wife Annie. You worked through the cycle in the
    presence of (an auditor,) Sinar, and achieved EP as planned.
    No more BPC, or fixated attention on the “base” (in every sense
    of the word!) Certainty that Annie is now fully emancipated from
    any remaining attention on that hellhole, is now also reality!

    You have done everyone proud, Jim, and set a memorable
    example of exactly how to repair a life, ( yours, in this case,)
    using standard LRH tech, to full EP! (Sinar, good job too!)

    Reading your account, makes me incredibly proud to call
    myself an Independent Scientologist !

    Thank you, fellow Indie,
    Li’ll bit

  28. Michael Fairman

    Jim
    One journey ends, another begins. You and your love are both now free.
    Thank you for sharing your journey and showing us what Miscavige and his church has become –soulless machines inhabiting lifeless brick and mortar — the antithesis of theta.
    Your story is one of compassion and understanding and one hopes a little of both would linger and take root where none now exists.

  29. “The quintessential revolution is that of the spirit, born of an intellectual conviction of the need for change in those mental attitudes and values which shape the course of a nation’s development. A revolution which aims merely at changing official policies and institutions with a view to an improvement in material conditions has little chance of genuine success. Without a revolution of the spirit, the forces which produced the iniquities of the old order would continue to be operative, posing a constant threat to the process of reform and regeneration. It is not enough merely to call for freedom, democracy and human rights. There has to be a united determination to persevere in the struggle, to make sacrifices in the name of enduring truths, to resist the corrupting influences of desire, ill will, ignorance and fear.

    Saints, it has been said, are the sinners who go on trying. So free men are the oppressed who go on trying and who in the process make themselves fit to bear the responsibilities and to uphold the disciplines which will maintain a free society. Among the basic freedoms to which men aspire that their lives might be full and uncramped, freedom from fear stands out as both a means and an end. A people who would build a nation in which strong, democratic institutions are firmly established as a guarantee against state-induced power must first learn to liberate their own minds from apathy and fear.” Aung Sang Suu Kyi, 1990

    http://www.thirdworldtraveler.com/Burma/FreedomFromFearSpeech.html

  30. A symbol can be removed or destroyed. Your love not.
    Thank you for taking us with you.

  31. What a great essay Jim.
    Heartfelt.
    I too, did contact assists on my last 2 visits to Flag ~~ the dreaded running program running track, the RPF area in the parking garage and so on.
    I saw how I took a non-ordinary reality and made it my own.
    Incredulously even bundling all the experiences into the head line of “Religion”
    GAG
    INT Base was such altered reality and so enforced that I actually swallowed
    the insanities and altered reality as the “high ethics” of the senior echelon of the Church.
    +++That it was the Religious practice of the Church of Scientology to hold you against will in a state of kidnap, confiscate your car keys and forbid you to leave the base/.
    +++++That it was the Religious practice of the Church of Scientology to interrogate you hour after hour after hour, month after month after month on whether you came from the CIA, FBI, IRS, psychiatric plots, conspiracy set ups on and on.
    GAG
    +++++That it was the Religious Practice of the Church of Scientology to indulge in gang bang sec checking, put you to hard manual labor, forbid you to see your kid, forbid you to get a change of clothes and work for 10 days in the same clothes and underwear.
    GAG
    Yes it was Miscavige but with a boatload of enablers.
    The point is I fell for the altered states of reality.
    I believed I should be incarcerated in Old Gilman House because I was
    BAD.
    How absolutely refreshing and invigorating it is to look at THEN from NOW.

  32. I remember when I was drinking the kool aid, if I was in a public place and ran into someone who was declared, there was this idea that they were an evil SP and I couldn’t talk to them and I couldn’t have anything to do with them as they were evil and dangerous. I had a taste of receiving that myself when I was in the SO and in lowers or on the decks or when I was routing out. I suddenly “couldn’t be trusted” even though I felt like I was the same old me. When I look back on it now, it’s really an insane way to treat people. I was in the SO, I had dedicated my life to this cause, yet was being treated like a pariah. I never liked that about Scn.

    On another note, I wish you had posted the pics and videos you took.

  33. Nice photo! Great write up! Thanks for sharing.

    Guards? P.I.’s? Just goes to show you the Church isn’t exactly
    expecting goodwill visitations from grateful associates. I haven’t seen this at the Catholic Church. When your receptionist is a security guard and a private investigator, you have some issues!

    Hey Marty, isn’t is great to be able to answer your front door? To live without armed forces?

    Funny, I don’t remember Hubbard needing P.I.’s, security guards and armed forces. He kept a low profile, not an army.

    Yeah, I can lay my head down on the pillow at night and have a good sleep.
    WITHOUT armed forces and P.I.’s and security guards.

  34. Jim: Indeed, you and Annie have won. Your love is etched into your consciousness as it is with hers.

    You’ve done the hard part — living apart all these years. She working through her own obstacles, and you, yours.

    Some future time and space, you’ll meet again — free from all the past.

    In contrast to what you viewed at Gold and Int — I head off today for a 2 day retreat in Northern Vermont. Approximately 600 rolling hills, with a rather old but charming dharma center, badly in need of renovation – where over 200 of us will meet and listen to one of our favorite American teachers speak about a new practice our “lama” has written.

    http://www.karmecholing.org/index.php

    We’ll meditate together, eat lunch, and the practice the new sadhana.

    The contrast is startling to Int and the Corporate Church.

    However the independent field is VERY much the same … it’s a kind, caring, dedicated and steely-eyed group who are devoted to the teachings of LRH … and confident of their success.

    Peace.

    Love,
    WH

  35. theo Sismanides

    Jim thanks for laying out all of that process and thanks for your intention to help the staff there.

    The flowers to Annie symbolize eternal love and affinity and your affinity is way up, man! The fact that the staff cannot even have this, those flowers to be left there, shows that WE all have to move up the scale from mental “thinking” to spiritual confronting of life. And I say, ALL, because blaming the staff or even DM is not the way. Doing a group process like Jim and Sinar did is a way! To set them free! Great process.

    Scientology is spiritual, not mental barriers and rote thoughts. We are only going to be free when we can attain a higher level of awareness and affinity as auditors of 3rd dynamics, too.

    Thanks Jim. That high level of awareness and affinity is what we all seek out not the fights or the disagreements. There is such a level where ALL dynamics align. Anything less in anyone of us shows we have a long way to go. We, above all, can be auditors and an auditor has no case.

  36. Li'll bit of stuff

    Marty, just like to share the news! My wife and I have just
    signed Steve Hall’s Indie 500 list, and doing my declaration
    is just a formality, to be accomplished in the next couple of days. Just wrapping up the loose ends, to finish the cycle.

    Perhaps, those still held in the hitherto “tenuous” mind control
    of David Miscavige, just need to address this one clear cut
    assumption;
    One is inhibited from one’s own SELF determinism by the “fear of consequences”….. nothing more…….. nothing less!!!

    Further, no consequences could be worse than having one’s
    mind CONTROLLED by this insane dictator, usurper of LRH’s
    gift to ALL OF MANKIND, for the sole purpose of suppressing
    all into abject slavery and subservience, while continuing to
    pour toxic “Kool-Aid” {reverse Scn & black Dn, 3rd party, OSA
    destruction tactics, blackmail, extortion, bribery, etc, etc). down the throats of his hypnotized adherents & minions.

    To ALL who are still wavering in escaping the chains of “fear”
    that still incapacitate you, I say this; make the big decision…..
    ………to BE FULLY YOURSELF (again!) …move forward to
    remove yourself from the influence of the Church of David
    Miscavige…..to the true ANTIDOTE…The INDEPENDENTS!

    Right here in INDEPENDENT SCIENTOLOGY, one will find an
    abundance of power, strength of resolve and experts in
    the application of REAL LRH TECH to assist one through
    the “decompression period.”

    Take that NEXT step to TRUE FREEDOM! START!!!!!

    • Well done!

    • miscavigeisscaredofsam

      Finally!
      We need to know who we can trust Li’ll bit.
      If I’ve given you a hard time up to now it’s because hiding one’s identity gives OSA the power to place plants on our lines who use the cloak of anonymity to prevent detection placing the group at risk. I see no reason to give them any ammunition which would slow down the job that needs to be done.
      On a personal level do not trust anyone fully unless I know exactly who I’m dealing with and unless that person shows enough courage to make the decision to be fully on-board on the same terms as the rest of us.
      I look forward to reading your declaration. It is the correct thing to do and it is standard and on the correct lines per LRH tech relating to group ethics.
      It is also VERY survival in terms of getting yourself completely detached from any remaining PTSness within Miscavige’s cult.
      Well done.

      • Dear Sam, it was somewhat hard for me to read your post. Pushing giving someone a hard time, to me is not granting being ness. There are many on this board who post under a pseudonym, not wishing to identify themselves, for whatever reason.

        I know several people not on the Indie 500 list, this doean’t make them OSA or PTS. Its just not their time and I can honor that. These are good people the only thing that hurts them is evaluating them as something they are not and third party’g them. These people need theta energy to destim and find their way.

        I realize that hurt and betrayal runs deep for many people and this is what might make one extra cautious looking underevery rock and behind every tree.

        Let us not get like the cool aid drinkers, evaluating, judging, condemning, disconnecting, controlling or demanding.

        I hope you see my point ,I understand the mission and abhor the silly, annoying, dev-t OSA games.

        • miscavigeisscaredofsam

          Moneca
          It’s a personal to Li’ll bit of stuff based on our history not a party political statement.
          You really don’t need to involve yourself nor make unfounded accusations when you don’t know me.
          Like I said it’s a personal viewpoint and you’re entitled to disagree but you’re not entitled to ‘evaluate, judge, condemn’ for such.

          • *On a personal level do not trust anyone fully unless I know exactly who I’m dealing with and unless that person shows enough courage to make the decision to be fully on-board on the same terms as the rest of us.*

            This is exactly the sort of thinking that got us in this mess in the first place.

          • Sam, wish I did know you as I enjoy your spunk and no nonsense attitude. I apologize for any ARC X. Not speaking or sharing viewpoints face to face is challenging.

            The comments on our respective posts presented some good reminders and opportunities to personal observation.

            • miscavigeisscaredofsam

              Moneca
              Thank you. And I apologize for going off at you.
              We’re good.
              At the end of the day, correct target is the cult and it’s agents. I don’t drink Koolaide and I don’t have fixed viewpoints. I just don’t trust Li’ll bit and he/she knows it but I don’t speak for everyone or from a group agreement by any means. The reason for distrust lies more with OSA taking advantage of those who feel they have to remain anonymous for the time being due to their terror campaigns. I would not allow anyone to use my friends and family as hostages to keep me silent and I wish the people I care about could see that – but that’s just me :)
              Peace x

        • Li'll bit of stuff

          Moneca, believe it or not, I totally get where both you
          and Sam are coming from, respectively! Forgiveness
          is par for the course, when one both duplicates AND
          understands. It really is that simple! Conversely, it
          gets …….soooo…..complicated, when one cannot!

          Scn AXIOM 20. Bringing the static to create a perfect
          duplicate causes the vanishment of any existence or
          part thereof.

          AXIOM 21. Understanding is composed of affinity,
          reality and communication.

          BTW, I refer to all the axioms as my life’s stable data!

          • There is rightness in everyone’s view.

            I would like to point out though, just because someone is using their given name does not mean they do not work for OSA. There are people in this outer theater that are using their real name and working wittingly or unwittingly for OSA. They generate conflict in the Independent movement. Attempt to disgrace or devalue valuable terminals. Cut comm lines and invalidate valuable resources and dabble in murky exchanges and tech cycles. They are O.S.A.’s greatest assets.

            The best way to know your friends, and our friends, is by their actions and contributions. People are either a value or a liability no matter what name they use or not. You can trust people by their value or destruction in any relationship. It is very simple if you are familiar with the ethics conditions, to know what condition others are in as well. It really comes back to conditions. This is a workable stable datum and need never be replaced with witch hunts.

            • Li'll bit of stuff

              TO,

              Your comm is always a marvel to behold. Gifted with a
              rare combination of insight and compassion, it is an
              absolutely soothing and theta experience to read your
              posts. You definitely convert “entheta” to THETA.

              Thank you for bringing your rare gift to us all, and for
              your ack on the “good news”

            • miscavigeisscaredofsam

              Exactly. Thank you for putting it so succinctly.
              I am not always as articulate once my emotions are on a roll :)

      • Li'll bit of stuff

        Wow! Thanks, & well done to you, Sam! I’d like to indicate your needle is floating!

        • miscavigeisscaredofsam

          Let’s not get carried away :)
          My needle isn’t floating yet and I’m not on a meter.

          • Li'll bit of stuff

            Won’t then!

            Put down the guns, please! Session’s over!

            • Also I would like to point that Sam was not actually the source on that.

              • She may have been curious in that conflict but that accusation was not sourced from her.

                • Li'll bit of stuff

                  Yeah! and we notice the one who posted the
                  interrogatory, (must have taken quite some
                  time to assemble that package of LBOS
                  quotes,) has had very little input to this blog
                  lately. Trademark OSA troll tactics, Ho-Hum!

                  • miscavigeisscaredofsam

                    Enough already!
                    As ‘The Oracle’ already pointed out:
                    “just because someone is using their given name does not mean they do not work for OSA. There are people in this outer theater that are using their real name and working wittingly or unwittingly for OSA. They generate conflict in the Independent movement.”
                    Here once again we have that very conflict occurring once again connected to your postings and continuing.
                    Let’s have the announcement and have done with these games.

                    • Sam, seems to me it was a very theta announcement and nothing more, until your comment, which was where the conflict entered. If you want the conflict to stop, you could try dropping the matter instead of seemingly insisting on having the last word.

      • Tony DePhillips

        That’s great Lil bit. I look forward to the write-up.
        I feel you Sam.
        I can grant beingness to people who haven’t come out yet , but I agree if they haven’t then they are to some degree the effect of the cult. That is PTS in Scientology parlance. It doesn’t mean they are bad or anything. I also agree with Sam that it is hard to trust someone fully if they haven’t come out openly. The cult plays lots of tricks and one must be aware of the evil they can try to effect on the “SP’s”.

        • Li'll bit of stuff

          Thanks Tony, same good advice told to me by W W.

          • I’m doing this tongue-in-cheek.

            ‘My name is Tom Gallagher and I live in Cincinnati, Ohio.’

          • Li’ll bit of stuff

            First of all, well done on getting your names on to the Indie 500 list. You may well find it quite a relief when you finish “wrapping up the loose ends, to finish the cycle.” and post your declaration.

            Eric S

          • Li’ll Bit of stuff

            …. “Thanks Tony, same good advice told to me by W W.”…

            Hmmm…

            Since you have brought me into this, you’ll have to remind me…

            What part of Tony’s “good advice” do you remember me telling you? Most of what Tony just said doesn’t seem very familiar as my advice at all.

            Eric S

            • Li'll bit of stuff

              Hi Eric, good to see you here too!

              Answer: The bit where you advised that ” ..”.on the internet,
              never expect anyone to trust you…it takes time to build
              relationships.. people get to know you through your posts..”

              I do appreciate the support of all who come out on the side
              of those who are / have been unjustifiably attacked over
              their need / preference for using non de plumes.

              Moneca, Nonono, TO, Bob, you have shown that it is hurtful
              to go ballistic towards an individual who has NOT harmed,
              or wronged another by intent or natter, on this site.
              So the question needs to be asked again;

              ” What has happened to one’s innate Knowingness, sixth
              sense and pure ability to observe? ”

              Thank God for compassion, what a cruel place this world
              would be without it.

              • Li’ll Bit

                Thanks for the answer. That is a much better representation of what I actually said.
                Sometimes it is important to be accurate in these things.

                Eric S

                • Li'll bit of stuff

                  Eric, I had second thoughts after posting that ref.,
                  the thought being:……… “Dang! Eric won’t accept
                  that! …..Instead, he will reply to me. ” Sometimes
                  it is important to be accurate in these things.”

                  My flunk for imagining you’d let it go, hey ?

                  Off topic, How is the road building and landscaping
                  coming on, now that spring is with you ?

        • Using a pseudonym = under the radar ?
          Using your real name = radar free ?
          Using your real name = trustworthiness ?
          Using a pseudonym = untrustworthiness ?
          People using pseudonym = PTS ?
          People using there “real name” = PTS free ?
          People using there real name = probably not OSA ?
          People using a pseudonym = possibly OSA ?
          Might be tricked by OSA ?

          Even with those computations I think you are all pretty cool beings.

      • Hi Sam;

        I’m Bob Grant, used to post as bobo,and many many years ago on ARS as thom Love.

        Sure am glad you’re on my side. If you weren’t, I’d probably switich!

      • I may never come out from under the radar — just to be my rather cantankerous self …

        I found this particular quote from the link provided above by Tom which quoted Aung Sang Suu Kyi particular illuminating:

        “A most insidious form of fear is that which masquerades as common sense or even wisdom, condemning as foolish, reckless, insignificant or futile the small, daily acts of courage which help to preserve man’s self-respect and inherent human dignity.”

        That said — though Sam may disagree, we seem to have a great deal in common — seemingly our tendency is to shoot first and ask questions later.

        Perhaps better worded in the incredible lyrics of Leonard Cohen – Hallelujah …

        “But all I’ve ever learned from love
        Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you”

        What often gets forgotten is for someone to have such passion, there must be a great deal of love. And I’ve heard it said – dissent is born from love.

        WH

    • There you go buddy! Good news!

    • Theo Sismanides

      Hey that’s great! More Independence! Thank you!

      • Li'll bit of stuff

        Theo, your ack is appreciated. Guys like you inspire
        confidence in those who are hesitant to step out.
        In my own case, I can assure you that it was
        not personal fear that held me back, but rather
        unselfishness. I refused to allow a “heroic move”
        on my part,to potentially destroy the amazing and
        humanitarian work being done, by my beloved
        Class V wife, involving hundreds of people.
        Having born the brunt of several nasty, factless
        personal attacks, right here on Marty’s blog,
        it would have been nuts to post my real name, until
        the danger to her work was dealt with, which is
        now virtually accomplished. My upcoming, overdue
        declaration should fill in the gaps,

        ARC Li’ll bit

  37. Off Topic but VERY IMPORTANT

    Psychiatrist Breaks Up Families For Profit

    http://psychiatricnews.wordpress.com/2012/03/17/psyciatris-breaks-up-families-for-profit1151/

    This is what LRHGwarned of, and what the RCS is in bed with!!! (evil psychs!) UK

    • This is another one of a string of bizzare and alarming cases in the UK, One other involving the Sims from East Sussex was covered in the series of articles in the Telegraph UK (link below).
      In this case the Church of Scientology swooped on the victim parents in the form of member Colin Poulter, who offered no support through the CCHR etc, instead dragged them up to St Hill to enrol them saying that the RCS could ease their trauma. (ambulance chasing!!)
      With all the resources and intel available to the RCS it is ashame that they were more interested in capitalising on the situation rather than addressing the long time ‘percieved foe’ of a corrupt psychiatric industry (not all psychs are corrupt but those who are can create hell!!)

      http://www.telegraph.co.uk/comment/columnists/christopherbooker/5858902/Evil-destruction-of-a-happy-family.html

  38. Beautiful, thanks.

  39. Jim Logan,

    Thanks for sharing this with us.

    Scientology was not perfect by far in the 80′s but with you and others with good intentions, tremendous theta, create and ability made Scientology fun and worthwhile.

    Yes, “There will come a day when you muster in MCI and someone else will speak to you collected there, other than David Miscavige.”

  40. Good on you Jim for leaving Annie a floral tribute despite the entheta and unpleasantness of the Int base. Very appropriate gesture. No doubt she appreciated it greatly.

  41. Jim, that was cathartic to simply read, I can only imagine how good that felt. Your closing paragraphs were beautiful.

  42. So much Fear! Why so much Fear? In a church compound? Even the venom spit at the visitors seems to be Fear of what might happen if any reach isn’t batted back.
    Thank you, Jim and Sinar. Beautifully conveyed Jim, and what a beautiful photo, Sinar. I’m happy for you both that you have gained the kind of peace in your lives to return to this place and remember a beautiful dear friend.

  43. Wow, Jim. Of all the stories I have read posted here, this is the most moving I’ve ever experienced. Thank you so much for sharing with us.

  44. Jim,
    Smiles through tears — for your love, loss, peace and release.
    JM

  45. Felicitas Foster

    Hi Jim,
    thanks for sharing this with us – very well done. ARC will not end unless you decide it to end.
    I am very proud of you and the guts you had to confront the shadows of the past and to come out of it at the top end.
    Love,
    Feli

  46. Jim, Love you man!

  47. that’s really rocking the free world, isn’t it? Running away in fear from a man who wants to leave a remembrance of his wife. Aren’t SO members supposed to be cause over matter, energy space and time and able to have a simple comm cycle?

    See, if I were in charge of a cult with several cases pending relying on the First Amendment, I would make sure that, well, it was behaving as a religion.

    Oh well. There goes your proof that it’s a cult. Mr Spencer, I don’t understand how you can defend this organization under the First Amendment.

    Jim, LRH would be shocked, horrified, saddened about the security guard’s actions as I’m sure you know.

  48. Jim (and Sinar),

    Thanks for taking the time to allow all to share in your experience. Beautifully written and insightful.

    You are right, the place is dead. The theta has literally been sucked out of it and is then converted into entheta and spread across the environment by Vampire Dave.

    The whole place is in fear, cowering and terrified by the world around them that has become a dangerous environment — and its especially dangerous when there is a man with flowers approaching.

    The same phenomenom occurs at Flag — I spent two days with Tony Ortega, much of it in downtown Clearwater and the city is like a sea urchin that had a stick stuck in it. Staff and public are not allowed out. They are herded into buses to go 100 feet across the street! The masters of the universe who are “clearing the planet” and “saving mankind” are so afraid of possibly hearing some information that doesnt emanate from the “command intention” that they literally hide and disrupt their whole day. And these are the highest levels of “freed beings” who are cause over matter, energy, space and time? That is the single greatest, and simplest, indictment of the insanity and lies of corporate Scientology there could be.

    • Your humble servant

      Mike,

      So the public at Flag is not allowed out now? Years ago there were no such restrictions. The public at Flag would freely go out and mingle with the City of Clearwater and do what they wanted. I do note that when I dropped by for a visit in 2004 the place had become extremely paranoid. If they didn’t know exactly who you were and exactly why you were there they treated you like a potential enemy. I really didn’t know what was going on at the time and was dismayed by it. Strangers were definitely not welcome there.

      I think all the upper orgs must be getting that way. Even around 2000 AOLA was still friendly and wecoming. When I dropped in around 2004 for a visit, not having been “on lines” for a few years, as I stood at reception the ethics officer (MAA) looked suspiciously at me and glared. Such a thing had certainly never happened to me before. Could it be that it is worse now and anyone walking in who is not seen to be 100% in lock-step agreement with David Miscavige’s “command intention” is viewed as an enemy? I am sure it must be getting that way, if it is not that way already.

      • I was in Tampa a few years ago enroute with my kids to take them on that Nickelodeon Cruise for kids leaving from Orlando. We spent a week in Tampa first as they went to a summer camp for a week first at some attraction there. We were having a great time and in spaces where others were having a great time and very keyed out. We sideways over to Clearwater so I could do a contact assist with the area. Against the backdrop of our agenda, (to have a good time) I was appalled at what I found. The ONLY area of that city that felt decent was Clearwater beach.
        No staff or public on the streets. The new Super Power Building looming empty. The parking lot at the Sandcastle empty except for about four cars. It looked abandonded! The FRONT DOOR of the Fort Harrison for some reason at that time was sealed off. People seemed to be traveling from some side entrance guarded by a security .

        What about all of the promises made to the town about how the Church would bolster the economy? All of the places I used to shop at or eat were gone or closed. It wasn’t just the base that had been buried, it was the whole town!

        Just a few days ago I saw on Village Voice Blog a video of an anon down there hazing people trying to get off the bus. He was moaning that his grandmother had been contacted by the Church sending her flowers covertly and he was obviously caved in. While he stood there hazing people that were grandparents, mothers children sisters and brothers of people too.

        Both sides, the fanatics and the witch hunters, come out look equally insane.

        I don’t think either side knows how ominous they appear to someone watching, not on either agenda. But both sides seem to be lacking in a following.

        Most people want to get out and live and create and explore and build and have pleasure moments. They do not exist to hide, harm, attack, and suppress, withdraw and hate. There are people all over the world that would give an eye to able to walk and live on the streets of Clearwater. And they would create something very positive in that city given half a chance.

        To see what has become of all of that beauty and possibility and freedom as a result of fear and intolerance and lack of education in this day and time in this country is plain astounding.

        Just goes to show, “location, location, location” is NOT the prime value.

        • Your humble servant

          Oracle,

          Thank you for that report. There was a time maybe 20 years ago when downtown Clearwater was revitalizing, having suffered the effects that many small cities have felt of a move toward the suburbs. The Church was well poised to help that revitalizaion and, for a while, it was helping. Apparently, that revitalization has now been extinguished thanks to the Zombie-like anti-life character of what some have called the Radical Church of Scientology. Maybe it would be even more accurate if we called it the Radical Church of Un-Scientology (or Reverse Scientology). The empty, deteriorating so-called Super Power building of the so-called Mecca of the so-called Church of Scientology is a powerful symbol of the death and decay of the Miscavige Syndicate. Not only that building, but the whole “Mecca” with its many buildings and roboticized occupants is poisoning the environment– like the melted down Chernobyl reactor poisoned the countryside for many miles around.

          It has been mentioned occasionally on this blog that by survey Scientology has now become the most despised religion in America, way more unpopular than the Muslims, the Johovah’s Witnesses, the Mormons, and even the athiests! I don’t think anyone has taken a poll of how much the residents of Clearwater hate “Scientology,” but it must be vitriolic. Who could love a church in one’s town that keeps its main front doors shut tight and requires all entrants to pass through security at a side entrance, that won’t let the people in the buildings come out onto the street, but buses them from building to building, that lies with abandon about so many things, but that brags constantly about all the real estate it is buying?

          Poor Clearwater these days! Mike’s analogy of the City being like a Sea Urchin with stick stuck in it is very apt.

        • Li'll bit of stuff

          TO, another vivid account as you tourguided us through
          the Flag precinct. Your’e spot on, of course and after
          all “location,location,location” is only for mest,mest,mest!

          AXIOM 52. Mest persists and solidifies to the degree it
          is not granted life.

          You looked and hereby confirmed, the place is dead.
          A monument to the aims of Miscavology; “A world of
          insanity, criminality and war, where the able are dis-
          abled and fleeced and honest beings are broken
          down into sheeple, DMbots and apathetic kool-aid
          addicts, blinkered and completely shut off from life
          and communication outside of it’s anchor points.”

          I wholeheartedly agree with your entire post and
          sentiments, especially as so eloquently described.

          David Miscavige, your time of reckoning is here!!

          • …the place is dead.
            A monument to the aims of Miscavology; “A world of
            insanity, criminality and war, where the able are dis-
            abled and fleeced and honest beings are broken
            down into sheeple, DMbots and apathetic kool-aid
            addicts, blinkered and completely shut off from life
            and communication outside of it’s anchor points.”

            Li’l Bit, that’s a powerful and accurate description of those who refuse to look. I just ended off a contentious comm cycle with someone very dear to me who fits the above description to a T. Sadly, when it really counted, this person decided that I am now one of the black hats, because I’ve committed the unforgivable crime of applying the Code of Honor, and exercising my right of free association.

            Even though I made it abundantly clear to this person that I haven’t left my religion, and that I still bear full allegiance to LRH and Standard Tech, that wasn’t good enough. He’s disconnected from me anyway. Funny thing though — right up until the moment that he formally disconnected, I was very enturbulated about his disagreement. Now that he has, I feel a calmness in my space, regarding him. It’s he who has the uneasy head, not me.

            • Li'll bit of stuff

              Ronnie, thanks for the ack

              huge thanks for sharing this distressful engagement
              and indeed, due to the original ARC one has, if one’s
              TR-O is even SLIGHTLY off, one is thrown into
              enturbulation, no matter how “reasonable” one tries
              to be.

              Any how, well done in the aftermath, the calmness
              came from communicating the truth, which has, to
              a large extent, permitted you to move on….

              As I have finally learned, through many, many
              mistakes in trying to understand others, the most
              powerful single act you can do… is to simply try
              to DUPLICATE what is / happening in front of you.

              i.e. anger ? ………get it!
              confusion?…..get it!
              PTP ? …………get it!
              etc, etc………..get it?

              Good news though? He’ll come round! ( com lag!)

    • MR and Jim, I have experienced the life-depletion of both Int and Flag in the past decade as well. Even though I was not at Int at the time, beginning around early 2004, there was a perceptible change of emanation of from Int that could be felt at a distance. I didn’t know what it was at the time, but knew something had gone/was going very wrong there. Over time I came to associate more identifiable occurrences with this phenomena, especially a seemingly endless disappearance of executives from the ILO to Int, only to never be heard from again. So not only was Int depleted of life, it had started to consume the life from other places. At Flag at the time I was there, it was somewhat more subtle, but it was so much less lively than it had been when I was there in earlier times, even though it was bigger, there were more staff (and way more MEST, the MEST had grown to dominate the theta).

    • Truly a “cult” mentality now. Your observations, and Jim’s and others’, make me cringe because it reminds me of Jonestown and Heaven’s Gate. Scary.

    • “They are herded into buses to go 100 feet across the street!”

      That is one tsunami of an outpoint…WOW!

    • Mike Rinder wrote : “Staff and public are not allowed out. They are herded into buses to go 100 feet across the street!”

      What is the definition of PTS ?

      What is the definition of Freedom ?

    • Theo Sismanides

      Mike… Staff AND… Public, not allowed to go out? This is insane! How much more Introverted can they get? The demise of the tyrant is imminent.

  49. Random Stranger

    Jim,
    What you wrote is too good to satirize.

    So, I’ll just embellish it.

    After the gunshots died down Jim took off his hat and grimaced at the hole from the bullet that had just missed his skull by a thousandth of an inch. A mischievous and determined smile flooded his face as he glanced over at Sinar, who was already poised in Ninja attack stance.

    “Let’s go!!” he shouted and they both started running in serpentine fashion towards the fence, zig-zagging across the field towards the security guards whose guns were now clicking on empty, their eyes growing wider as they realized the two warriors were closing in on them.

    As they neared the fence the security guards took off running in the opposite direction, dropping their weapons and screaming like little school girls. Jim hooked his hands together and scooped up Sinar’s outreached foot and catapulted him over the fence. Without breaking stride he pulled out his Acme Telescoping Vault-o-Pole and flicked it into its full length, stabbed it into the ground and sailed over the fence, landing on Base property. At the zenith of his arc through the air he was high enough to see David Miscavige scurrying out of his office and running full speed towards his security bunker, scotch bottle in hand, dressed only in a black thong, the tattoo of Tom Cruise clearly visible on his hind quarter.

    Jim hit the ground running and slammed Sinar a high five as both of them took off running after Miscavige who was by now yelping like a hyaena, his voice pitch getting higher and higher as the distance between him and his pursuers narrowed.

    Suddenly, Jenny DeVocht appeared in the doorway of The Hole, hands on her hips, her face red with fury, steam coming out of her ears. She took off running straight at Jim and Sinar, emitting a banshee scream as she tried to cut off their attack on DM. She flung herself through the air in a series of gymnastic moves and Kung-Fu flips, her outstretched feet aimed directly at Jim’s head like a missile.

    Sinar wound himself up into a coil and sprung like a rattlesnake at DeVocht, catching her foot with his steel-like grip as he used her own momentum to spin her around and around, knocking down all the members of DM’s entourage who had suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

    DM was within a few yards of his secret underground security bunker that hydraulically rose out of the field of wild flowers when Jim reached him, capturing him by the back of his shirt collar. DM defecated himself instantly and sank to his knees, his arms flailing, his eyes betraying his absolute panic.

    “HA!” Jim growled at DM as he held him out in front of him with one hand like he’d picked up a skunk. “Man, you stink!” DM fainted straight away, his body now limp as well as smelly.

    The crowd had grown to hundreds by now. They stared blank-faced and slack-jawed as Jim lowered the unconscious DM to the ground gently. Suddenly, as if they had practiced for this very moment, the crowd knelt to the ground and lowered their weapons. “HAIL! ALL HAIL JIM!” they chanted in unison in low murmuring tones.

    Jim and Sinar looked at each other and together they let out a war cry of victory. “Drinks are on us!” Jim barked as he reached for DM’s bottle of exquisite scotch and held it high in the air. The crowd erupted with a loud roar of approval, their arms raised in the air, their feet doing some kind of dance of freedom.

    DM was by now conscious once again and gasped, “Expelled…you’re all…expelled. Help me!” The crowd moved in on DM, picking him up like a bag of trash and marched over to the fence, swinging him back and forth until they had a satisfactory arc and flung him over the fence where he landed on a cactus with a loud cry of pain. He limped away across the field as he was pulling cactus spines out of his ass, crying and yelling for security.

    The rest of the crowd now held DM’s personal entourage in headlocks and wrestling grips. Their struggles died down as they realized they had lost. Muffled exclamations of, “Ok, ok, we give up! We give up!” could be heard from the defeated, black-shirted gang of DM’s personal enforcers. “HA!” growled Jim once again. As one, the gang of enforcers sprang up and ran straight through the fence towards the field where DM was still limping as fast as he could in the opposite direction, the imprint of the fence cut across their frightened faces as they tried to catch up with DM.

    As Jim led the victorious crowd to the pool area where the party was about to take place, a commotion at the front gate caught everyone’s attention. A long black limo was pulling up to the security gate. A dark tinted window rolled down and a head popped out. It was Marty, smiling. Another window rolled down and a second head popped out. It was Mike Rinder. The sun roof opened and a woman’s head popped up. It was Debbie Cook. The champagne bottles glistened from the sun as they held them out to the welcoming crowd.

    Jim smiled and waved the bouquet of flowers high in the air towards the limo, anxiously awaiting the long anticipated champagne toast of sweet victory.

  50. Jim,
    Thank you for sharing your trip. You took us all there with you.

    And thank you for this: “There will come a day when you muster in MCI and someone else will speak to you collected there, other than David Miscavige.” This is a postulate with which all of us can agree.

  51. miscavigeisscaredofsam

    Jim and Sinar,
    Reading your story, so many times I felt the urge to cry. But the time for sadness is over knowing you have come full circle now. As have I.
    Thank you for sharing your journey’s end with us.
    Thank you for placing your postulates into that dark place.Your presence and communication to our friends inside has planted there the spark of theta and life which will lead to the inevitable conclusion. Now we all share your postulate and it will be so, just as you say. I can think of no more fitting a tribute to Annie in honor of the love we all have for her.
    There will no doubt be more tears to come down the line. But those will be tears of happiness.
    ♥ Namaste.

  52. haydn (T Paine)

    Jim,
    As I think of you looking in on the Int Base, here’s a wee bit ‘o Robbie .

    The Chevalier’s Lament
    The small birds rejoice in the green leaves returning,
    The murmuring streamlet winds clear thro’ the vale,
    The primroses blow in the dews of the morning,
    And wild scatter’d cowslips bedeck the green dale:
    But what can give pleasure, or what can seem fair,
    When the lingering moments are number’d by care ?
    No flow’rs gaily springing, nor birds sweetly singing,
    Can soothe the sad bosom of joyless despair!

    The deed that I dar’d, could it merit their malice,
    A king and a father to place on his throne ?
    His right are these hills, and his right are those valleys,
    Where the wild beasts find shelter, tho I can find none!
    But ’tis not my suff’rings this wretched, forlorn-
    My brave gallant friends,’Tis your ruin I mourn!
    Your faith prov’d so loyal in hot bloody trial,
    Alas! can I make it no better return?
    (Robert Burns)

    [Rough translation of Chevalier is: noble knight]

  53. Jim,

    Thanks for this beautiful and moving account. I felt like I was standing there with you and Sinar.

  54. You made me cry. What a great love story. You confronted this situation.
    Thanks for sharing. This was a great tribute to Annie.

  55. I sprinkled the ashes on the favorite tee of the favorite golf course of Dr Denk. Talk about confront and reach/withdraw … Good on you Jim and Sinar! Important actions you have taken which transcend what came before and restore what always existed. Thank you for sharing with our community.

  56. Amen brothers! Thank you for sharing this intimate look into your journey – our journey.

  57. PS. Fantastic photo!

  58. Jim – you are the bestest. Thanks for sharing this with us.

    What an amazing photo of you too. Nice one, Sinar.

  59. Nice EP

  60. Thank you Jim for your story.
    I enjoy reading it
    You and Sinar seems to be very good buddy! :)

  61. Jim & Sinar….Thanks for sharing. If Shakespeare was alive he would put this love story to pen!

    Jim, I don’t think this is the last time you will hear UNCLE from Annie.

  62. Jim,
    What a theta episode. Teared up as I read it – flowing you lots admiration as you take responsibility for so many.

    I am so proud to consider you my friend.

    Ax

  63. Tony DePhillips

    Nice story Jim.
    You have a way with words!!

  64. Hey Jim,

    Glad to hear you did what you did. Good for the soul. I know there’s lots more that happened in your space and the space you expanded into – YOUR space, YOUR create – and I’m very happy for you.

    I remember when I was being thrown out with the trash, I remember thinking along these same lines: “But you’re supposed to be the good guys”. It’s weird, but even more so, it’s diabolical and a betrayal because you’re left wondering where to turn to now. And that’s the mechanism of the trap they’ve woven. But thanks to many good folk out here, we have the good guys out here and we’ll get the rest of them out as well so we can really, as you state “be truly FREE.”

    I’m incredibly happy for you, and Sinar, Jim. I’ll be seeing you before too long.

    Cheers,
    Chris

    And now, for a word from our sponsor:

    “We Are the Free People
    L. Ron Hubbard

    We are the Free People. We have grown up—grown up to Freedom, not senility.

    We are the Free People. The Scientologist has left behind the claws and barriers of miscontrol.

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    We are the Free People in whom the whims of “I’m supposed to” have no rule, on whom the scientist can blunt his weighty arguments to prove we are not Free.

    Be glad, they said before we came, that you are mad, insane, for there is genius, so they said. You cannot change. Our brand on you is fixed. Your brain is all you are and fixed like clockwork in a robot head. So think, they said, as we have said, to think, for thought is our own chain and your ideas nil.

    Die, they said, and live no more and become dispossessed so we can own. Fall down, they said, and worship clay or maybe space, but of course wrath. And sing lugubrious songs to fear or maybe international cults that specialize in slaves.

    Believe, they said, that Man is just a shiny thing well meant to die beneath the pounding of their bombs—the mightiest God they knew.

    The flesh, they said, is All and you are but a decay of yourself.

    And so they barriered All men.

    The witch and the pot; the test tube and the scope; the cell and the club; the textbook and the lies-Control! Control them or we die! Beat them or they win! Starve them or we shrink. We are afraid, afraid, afraid!—they said in that old age we killed.

    Freedom becks and we now laughing at their lies, went free.

    Scientology—The Road Sign Out.

    We are the Free People. We LIVE! We’re Free !”

    (Ability 58, early November, 1957)

    • ‘“But you’re supposed to be the good guys”. It’s weird, but even more so, it’s diabolical and a betrayal because you’re left wondering where to turn to now. And that’s the mechanism of the trap they’ve woven.’

      Very much so, Chris.
      1) You lose the group;
      2) You can’t talk to anyone about it;
      3) Introvert into your own case, looking for explanations.

      The trap works because you trust them. You imagine they know better than you because they have the trained people, and they’re representing LRH.

      The worst one would be,
      4) In a confusion about your own integrity.

      (‘you,’ the indefinite pronoun)

      It was a shock to me, coming to realise what the church had become. I’ve had to do my own Emotional Curve on it.

      My guess is that miscavige is less concerned with the money than he is with making slaves.

      Thanks for LRHs very apt “We are the Free People.”
      “Freedom becks and we now laughing at their lies, went free.”
      Therapeutic!

      I know whose side I’m on!

      Richard Kaminski

    • Wow! That was a great contribution Chris!

  65. Jim, that is so sweet and honorable and empathic and touching and well-written. I felt like I was there with you and the great Sinar.

  66. I didn’t know what to expect of Jim Logan, but in walked this larger than life blustering uptone being. Had so many good laughs and the stories all told, but what stood out the most is this mans continued devotion to the tech and his willingness to work tirelessly to ensure it’s continued in the independent field – free of suppression. Thanks Jim, you are welcome to our home anytime!

  67. It is so true that the life and fun that could once be found at Flag and the Int base have disappeared.

    At the Int base in the late 70′s and early 80′s there was no fence with razor wire. We played touch football behind the MCI during meal times and we had a hour lunch which many of us used to play volley ball in the pool.
    If someone decided to leave there wasn’t a “blow drill” to hunt them down and they weren’t declared. There was a lot of activity and excitement in the air. It wasn’t perfect by any stretch of the imagination but it was alive
    and there were freedoms and fun times.

    I remember Flag in the late 80′s and early 90′s. The waiting area and terrace outside the Fort Harrison HGC had about 100 public hanging out, reading, talking, laughing. By the year 2,000 you were lucky to find 3 people hanging out in that same area.

    Staff used to have their own vehicles. On Friday nights the movie theaters would be full of staff. Again the place was far from perfect but there was a lot of life and excitement. The communication level between staff and between staff and public was MUCH higher. As time progressed it was replaced more and more by fear and apprehension. Free time and vacations (leaves) were almost entirely removed. Security cameras were installed everywhere. The staff had to give up their vehicles. The “blow drill” was in place. The RPF had gone from a 1 year program to a 7+ year program. The base was crawling with RTC and CMO staff (well over 100)
    bypassing and cross ordering with reckless abandon. The “justice system” went out the window.

    I have visited both Flag and the Int base in the last year. I guess the best analogy would be comparing a person when they were a wild teenager with them as a broken prisoner in their mid 60′s.

    • martyrathbun09

      Thanks for the perspective (accurate in my estimation) Mat.

    • In summer 1983 when I was first at the Int Base, the tail end of the 1982 era route outs (off loading of so many people from Gold that occured in 1982) was just ending.

      My first day at Int, I saw Andre Clavel, the old LRH artist, a lot of his drawings are in the Admin Dictionary, he was accompanied by a Security Guard, and I awkwardly was happy to see and great him, yet he was “under watch” and strolling either to or back from MCI to the OGH area where he was staying during his “routing out.”

      There’s always that group of people who were older timers (Apollo veterans), always “routing out”, and reminding anyone who was “new”, that the older people do leave, despite all the grand plans.

      This was a continuing disappointment, to see veterans keep routing out, blowing, year in year out.

      The whole history needs be explained, and laid out, alongside of all the LRH traffic of how even LRH thought the various people in Gold had “messed up” on their jobs, for which that 1982 wholesale offloading of Gold staff occured.

      I remember there was no fence at the edges of the property, but in 1983, there was the two tences, one on each side of the road, with the button combination locks that you had to learn so you could open the fence doors.

      Way before the tunnel(s), which was made in the 1990s.

      A year by year history recollections ought be collected together someday.

      The GCT years, for all those people given clearances just to be on the GCT, that was a unique period.

      The “red coats” period were an interesting evolution, that matches a whole set of LRH traffic regarding the False Purpose Rundown.

      The whole history of Qual would be interesting to read.

      The whole history of R Comps, then also the Gold Hats Project, the Castle construction went on for really over 10 years I think.

      The old original special unit that Horwich and Auerbach were in, I forget it’s name, LRH Audio Unit or something.

      The building of the “ship” is a story.

      The history of Sea Org days held at the Int Base, the ups and downs of all of those, are a chapter.

      All the histories of each of the “LRH spaces” would be interesting.

      So many thousands of details. All the trees, there are some spectacular trees on the base.

      How buildings were used for one thing for a time, then became another unit’s building and used for something else.

      I hope more people return, and do writeups of their recollections.

      Thanks Jim!

      • Random Stranger

        Anonymous,
        Could you define these terms you used, please? Otherwise, I’ll have to go commit come overts and accumulate withholds and rack up some confusions and wind up with problems and then the whole thing will develop into evil ints and then I’ll misidentify and probably develop into an SP. Thanks.

        GCT

        red coats

        R Comps

        • 2FF!

        • GCT — Gold Construction Team
          R Comps — LRH Compilations — became RTRC
          if my memory and unnerstandin’ are in proper woikin order.

          red coats — no data.

          cuz I sure don’t want to be the effect point of RS goin all 2nd phenomena on me or anyone else :-).

        • GCT = Gold Construction Team. In 1983 there was an amnesty. For the RPFers this meant they could be freed from the RPF. At the time there were about 100 RPF at Gold/Int who were literally slave labor. They had been working for over a year with about 4 hours sleep a day and NO enhancement (obviously). So as not to lose the labor force, the Gold/Int RPF was renamed the GCT and carried on in much the same way.

          Red coats – technical trainees (auditors, supervisors, etc) wear a red smock or jacket as their uniform and are sometimes referred to as “red coats”.

          R Comps – LRH Compilations Unit. This was a unit at Int that took the advices, notes, write ups,etc from LRH and put them into issue form.

      • Auerbach’s unit was probably RAV (Ron’s Audio/Visual). I was in the unit at Flag in ’77, under David Wilson and PJ Severtson.

      • Anonymous, you make a great point here. At some point, as much of the specific history of all these points in time should be gathered up for posterity. Done with video interviews with the eyewitnesses. A great example is how Warren Beatty did the interviews with the aging Bolsheviks in his movie “Reds” circa 1980.

        There is nothing I’d enjoy more than doing these interviews when the time is right.

        I believe the most important part of this history is the period 1981-1986. Reason: there was an apparency, at least from the public perspective, that LRH was still very much on the scene and in charge. Yet from what I have read here & other places, to some degree or another, this is not true.

        Even worse, it appears that some of what SEEMED to come from LRH came from DM in his effort to take over.

        To take a well-known incident, the Mission Holder’s Conference of 1982 – and the Finance Police insanity – from the point of view of at least this public person, it was assumed this came from LRH – if only because we public could not have conceived that anyone else would have had the authority to order an action of such magnitude.

        Before 1981, it may be safe to assume that LRH was indeed in charge.
        After Jan. 1986, DM and various cohorts were obviously in charge. But in between, who knows? Only the individuals who were there at or near the top at the time.

        I think it is important, regarding this period, to separate out what was, and what wasn’t, from LRH. Perhaps Marty’s upcoming book will clarify.

        • martyrathbun09

          It will

          • Random Stranger

            Personally, I’m interested in any perspective or even data you might have as to how and why LRH failed in the turnover of management in such a way that allowed someone like David Miscavige to rise to the top, seize control and enact his Nazi methods.

    • The staff had to give up their cars? Did this violate the new “can’t have anything” policy?

  68. The same old LDW

    Thanks so much for the pure theta Jim. It was a real pleasure to meet up with both of you guys in LA.

    Les

  69. Jim, that was absolutely BEAUTIFUL…thank you! This truly touched me.
    Beautiful picture also. Love Carol

  70. That place was awesome in its heyday. Now it’s less than empty.

  71. Sharing your trip to Int and allowing us to experience it with you was really amazing. I felt as if I duplicated your love…your loss…and your release as if it were my own.

    Your journey reminds me that we each have to do our own steps to be free from the past, even on an others to others flow. It’s time to be fully in PT so we can create the change…to create our futures…whatever that may be.

    I loved said, “For those ar Gold” and with tears in my eyes, blew down as I visualized the people at Gold experiencing that freedom. It very much reminds me of when they tore down the Berlin wall.

    That was an excellent recording of a great tune! So perfect for this subject!

  72. Jim,

    Were the blue tiles still on the Lodges roofs?

    I remember during the early 1989 RPF work on the Lodges roofs, you were up on those roofs a whole lot.

    Tacking those tiles on all the other roofs too, over the years.

    The buildings belong to those that built them too!

    They don’t do outdoors renos it seems, but Saturday might be a good time to occassionally drive by, and see who’s out and about during renos, which I imagine is now mainly grounds maintenance.

    All the tree work, field mowing, for sure the Gold grounds staff are still doing all those basic duties and would be visible throughout the day.

    I’d hoped that they’d get back to holding their outdoor Sea Org day ceremonies like years past ,AND thus anyone driving by if they were taking clear photos, might get some views of the different orgs.

    There used to be more picture taking by themselves and sharing their photos in their internal publications, like the old Sea Org “High Winds” magazine.

    I think longer range, if the movement can evolve enough to not erase it’s history, it’ll be a sign it is becoming healthier.

    I think of you on those roofs though Jim, and I wondered it you thought about those blue tiles and all your roofing on the Lodges in particular!

    Chuck

    • Chuck,
      In fact, Jim and I stopped by the Lodges for a while and discussed the amount of time and handling of the crooked roof renovations as well as the Gym studio renovations.
      I really doubt that those things you mentioned are likely to happen, DM is in hiding and nothing is in plain sight anymore, even the crew and the base is DEAD!

      It sucks to be David Miscavige!

    • Chuck,
      They’ve redone the Lodges roofing. As any roofer worth his hammer knows, straight lines are the deal (and warm, dry and safe inside of course).

      The new lines are, well, aberrated. Not straight. Not my roof.

  73. I am glad you have found your peace.
    True grit, true greatness.
    A new dawn, a new day, free to breath, free to be.

  74. Somewhere in Flag enshrined in some little folder, is my SP declare.
    And the only reason I’m writing you this now is cause you may know somebody in a similar situation, or you may be in a similar situation, and if you’re in a situation like that there’s only one thing you can do and that’s walk into the Org wherever you are, just walk in and sing, “Google Debbie Cook”. And walk out. You know, if one person, just one person does it they may think he’s really sick and they’ll tell him he’s trespassing and to get the hell out. And if two people, two people do it, in harmony, they may think they’re both faggots and they’ll call the cops. And three people do it, three, can you imagine, three people walking in and singing, “Google Debbie Cook” and walking out. They may think it’s an organization. And can you, can you imagine fifty people a day, I said fifty people a day walking in singing, “Google Debbie Cook” and walking out. And friends they may thinks it’s a movement.

    And that’s what it is, the “The Google Debbie Cook Movement”, and
    all you got to do is join in.

    -Adopted from the full, live version of Alice’s Restaurant by Arlo Guthrie.

    • Kevin, I like it!!! I like it alot!

    • Benjamin Cisco

      That should be posted under Active Projects at WWP. The kids would probably do it! As they say for the lulz but seriously, isn’t that what’s been happening? Now that POB has taken it to the maliciousness we’ve seen with Debbie Cook, a few more should hear her name. Maybe even an Irish ditty …

    • Kevin,

      Wonderful adaptation of a piece that I have always loved. I could hear Arlo saying this in his distinctive voice. Made me laugh!

  75. I had to take the photo after we visited the Baser as both Jim and I were pretty keyed out from having done the contact, reach and withdraw processes. We got a lot more than expected, being there for the other for itsa. I would like to put in my two bits in here, if you don’t mind.

    The first time I saw the property of the Int Base was in 1978, driving there in LRH’s motorhome for a location film shoot as it was an operating golf course before it was covertly bought, similar to the story at Flag. The film we were shooting was TR2, the cycle of communication. LRH drove there himself, taking his red Cadillac Eldorado convertible with the white top lowered. There were two pretty messengers with him and we could not keep up, following him in the motorhome. LRH had lunch and soft drinks at the golf course and I ended up baking a chocolate cake there which he later had for dinner’s dessert, as a result of his story telling of Malayan pirates and how they cooked in their vessels in the high seas – he loved to tell these stories, especially after a good meal, while having his herb tea.

    The base had been pretty much my home for over 20 years off and on over a decade ago and I’ve witnessed the changes of management, from within the pot. Starting from cold, to comfortable bath temperature to it’s near boiling state. LRH had never lived at the base, though he visited it many times to direct film shooting and a couple of time for dinner with Mary Sue, once for Arthur’s birthday and another for Suzette’s birthday at a renovated house (called the new Gilman House when the property was bought). This modest two bedroom house, renovated and maintained was completely razed in the 90s by David Miscavige for reasons of his own, not disclosed to anyone, using millions in IAS funds.

    When Jim and I stopped at the main Guard booth and entrance, it was amazing that the two guards – Danny Dunnagin and Kevin Caetano (I’ve known then for over a decade), would not look at us in the eye, and instead spoke to their hired PI to tell us that we were trespassing and to leave, not accepting the flowers.

    To vary the topic a bit, I asked to pick up a rifle which belonged to me as one had to give Security any firearms for storage. The PI didn’t know anything about their keeping of guns which is not OK by law and Caetano just robotically echoed the no trespassing bit. Flowers or guns didn’t matter in his fearful but tinged with hatred utterances.

    There were many changes, most notably for me were the really tall, stately palm trees lining the road across the main booth were removed, and any traces of fruit orchards with their irrigation systems removed. Hundreds of fruit and nut trees to provide food for the crew (following LRH advices on self sufficiency) involving thousands of hours of work are gone, replaced by many trees which are not aesthetic and vegetation to just conceal what is behind the fence.

    Since Jim and I were at the base and outside, we both have moved on our OT levels which we couldn’t have on the inside. We both noted that the Int Base is completely dead, DOA. There were noises of parrots, birds and peacocks from the pool area across the street from the main booth in the past and these were totally gone. Not a cat, dog or any sign of intelligent life was present.

    We realized that it was dinner time, with smells wafting around near the dining and galley area, but not a body was in sight and all the doors & windows shuttered. All was still, no people walking around nor bikes or golf carts moving about. These were following a drill we had to do many times – duck. cover and hold from the ’90s, which is just a reactive, group think agreement giving total power to two individuals, big instant SPs walking down the highway!

    DM instills fear and hatred as echoed by the guards, and that is the change. There is no care for people and staff as when LRH was there. I realized that Kevin Caetano, already skinny but now skinnier, older and more massy, has not had more auditing on the grades that he received from Tom Cruise – the levels student auditor in 1990, two decades hence. The Bridge is gone and instead there exists the Hole and grounding rods.

    Orgs are supposed to be theta and friendly places, but this top one of the planet just emanates pure unfriendly hatred. It was all considerations such as remants of thoughts that it was “home” and a safe space. Also that we both imbued and created the place with a huge quantity of our theta in the past and had plenty of pleasure moments there as well as painful ones. I thank Jim very much as this action and process we did produced more case gain for me than expected. I am more Independent!

    • Sorry I came late to this party!

      • Perfect, ol’ buddy :-)

      • Thank you for the post Sinar, you and Jim had quite an adventure. I feel you represented a lot of us in going there and confronting what you both encountered.

      • I like these stories where independent Scientologists in their dealings with church members keep their cool and their TRs in. I believe that, although Danny Dunnagin and Kevin Caetano could not look you in the eye, they could feel you in their hearts.

        In their hearts, they know what’s been going on is wrong. Just being there, not ridiculing, projecting a safe space, granting beingness; even admiring… all that stuff is the magic fundamentals of Scientology and all other valid philosophies and spiritual practices.

        Field Auditor Aida Thomas recently toured to the base with many Russian Independents. All cool and calm and full of love. In contrast, the staff members were strained and introverted. Look at the expression in the staff members’ faces in Aida’s videos. It is so obvious, THEY KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG AND THEY ARE VERY NEAR THE CRACKING POINT.

        It’s easy, perhaps, to get into a ridiculing, “make nothing” of the church and it’s staff and the public; calling them names and practicing not-isness. But, not productive of any really satisfying result (methinks).

        A steady barrage of love such as you two gave at GOLD that day, if kept at over any length of time by others would result within the next couple of months in Danny and Kevin barreling down the highway to the Sheriff station with resolute determination not to be cajoled by some “Port Captain” drug out of the hole for the day to go do some fast talking.

        Well done you two.

    • Tony DePhillips

      Way to go Sinar!! You are a class act!! :-)

    • Thanks Sinar,

      You give me such realism of what it was like then…. and now. It’s good to see things from this point of view as I was never there, but often wondered what it was like… Thanks so much

    • Wonderful write up Sinar. You and Jim captured a lot in a few words. This too was my home from the mid-80′s til 2007. I remember when I first went there, when everyone had moved from LaQuinta and the sort of center of the universe on the base was the “Tavern.” There were NO new buildings back then, even the old gym where Ken Norton and others had trained was still there! There was no “ship” at the pool. No fences. And the feeling of the place was totally different.

    • “When Jim and I stopped at the main Guard booth and entrance, it was amazing that the two guards – Danny Dunnagin and Kevin Caetano (I’ve known then for over a decade), would not look at us in the eye, and instead spoke to their hired PI to tell us that we were trespassing and to leave, not accepting the flowers.”

      ——————-

      So here is Danny and Kevin, the elite of the planet, SO members. The keepers of freedom. And they cannot even confront you and Jim. And you all know each other. Not even Hey, how’s it going.

      Kind of funny, the keepers of freedom trapped behind fences and their own thoughts (or another’s thought), and they do not even know it. Trapped for fear of consequences.

      And yet, Jim and Sinar approach from the outside. Who is really free here?

      Kind of funny, no, it’s really sad.

    • Thanks for your half of the write-up, Sinar. Between what you and Jim both wrote, I feel like I have some mass on the place, and also understand a bit of its history. Many of the anecdotes you shared about the early days of the Int base are quite precious and valuable, in my opinion.

      The comparison you draw between the old Int base that you once knew, and the solid, darkened remnants of that once wonderful creation, are stunning and illuminating. It’s apparent to me, that Miscavige has finally got the place just how he wants it – dead, lifeless – and of no threat to him. Give him enough time, and he’ll fully duplicate that beingness down the lines into every org on the planet. From what I’ve read on this thread, he’s nearly accomplished that too.

      Well then, fine. Let it become so bleak and dreary in the orgs, that even the most Kool-Aid drunken robot will finally see what’s happened. Let DM’s Nazi-like aura so fill the orgs, that the public runs for their very lives. Maybe then, he’ll finally implode upon himself like the black hole he is.

    • Thanks Sinar for your observations. Fascinating how DM has even outed the fruit and nut trees which I also know are per LRH advice. And the palms lining the main entrance?! Interesting. Great process. I think in some ways anyone who also had this as a home for X amount of years has also gained from your experience and observations here. I know at least I did. :)

    • “This modest two bedroom house, renovated and maintained was completely razed in the 90s by David Miscavige for reasons of his own, not disclosed to anyone, using millions in IAS funds.”

      David does not have to explain anything to anyone. He does not have to write C.S.W.’s. or purchase orders for approval. He does not have to respond to K.R.’s. He does not have to have a post hat (Chairman of the Board has no post hat) or a write up for the post or a checksheet. He does not have to get sec checked or go to study. He does not have to worry about being RPFed or offloaded or freeloaded. He does not have to worry about being removed from post by his peers or being transferred to someplace he does not want to be. Her does not have to keep graphs of his own or do conditions.

      These are the plights of Sea Org Members.

  76. Jim, One good thing that came out of living there was meeting and being able to work with you. Maybe someday they will invite us all back for a friendly visit. Maybe not, but either way we’ll meet up…. Steve

    • That’d be doable someday!

      When Black Cloud moves off and others take control over the invitation list approval of who gets to go do the free tour of the communal Scientology “Vatican” compound!

  77. Dear Jim,

    What an amazing journey you describe. You revived
    and rehabilitated “being”.

    The destruction DM beget at Int generalized and I think
    for many we only held in mind his evil and wreckage.

    But with your and Sinar’s visit and your relating, good
    memories of team work and accomplishment were
    retrieved.

    Thank you to both you and Sinar.

  78. Wow. Just. Wow!

    Bravo, Jim.

    Well written.

    Lump in my throat, not quite tears, but.

  79. Thanks for sharing. Your level of confront I inspiring.

  80. Benjamin Cisco

    Thank you for sharing such a personal experience. I smiled when you said (in short because I’m paraphrasing) ‘f u David Miscavige’ because what you and Annie created is alive and strong and intact. I then reread your post but concentrated on the back story. You went face to face and recalled what Int once was and what it is today. Then I realized how similar the description was to many protest videos and blogs that I have read for many years.

    Everyone who sees it must continue. To get along I think we should put aside (for now) the spiritual sides and philosophies; remove the despot and free those interned. Love you all, and good wishes to all.

    Happy St. Patrick’s day. Today I’m Irish at heart and still hate David Miscavige.

  81. one of those who see

    Jim, so beautifully written. My thoughts-this is OT, theta, freedom. This is a man who lives Scientology. And this is the Scientololgy I wanted. It is here. In people like Jim. I am no longer betrayed.
    Annie is lucky to have you Jim. Sending a hug from me.
    My mock up is that Heber, Guillume and Ray happen to see you, look across the distance and nod. One can dream…

    Love you guys.

  82. Awesome that you guys did that. It is really too bad that going “Over the Rainbow” has become crossing the river Styx.

  83. Wow, what a touching story, Jim – made me teary-eyed…

  84. Jim,
    I am proud of you. Real proud. You did a great thing.
    Your article walked me up that highway — looking on both sides of the road, to the property I worked at for over 13 years. I saw it vividly, including its emptiness. What was there is gone. The life that we had injected into that place, is gone. As you point out — now we put that life elsewhere. Our purpose is not gone. Our mission is not over. We, as beings, are stronger than before, and as we continue to train and audit up The Bridge (the standard LRH Bridge – not the altered Miscavige version), the disparity between us and the hollow-eyed fearful people in that place, becomes more and more apparent.
    Again — so proud of you. You ran a process to full EP, you delivered a message and token for Annie, and you communicated to the whole Indi community the is-ness of that place called Int, that used to be responsible for the dissemination and protection of our religious philosophy and is no more.
    Thank you.

  85. Your humble servant

    JIm,

    I think again of your sentence, “There it was, Dave’s offices, and as clear as the exhaust from a dump truck, a black roiling mass of hate and frustration.” What a description. Yes, that’s the way it was as I can almost perceive it from here, hundreds of miles away. This cretin really believes that the “future of Scientology” rests on his shoulders. He really believes that all of his insane and hateful acts are fully justified. He really believes he can do no wrong, yet deep down he knows it is not true.

    Just as O. J. Simpson “forgot” that he committed murders and so was genuinely relieved when he was acquitted, this character has “forgotton” the deals he made with the devil to suppress the subject and its people while pretending to forward them. He hates because he really “believes” that those who seek to stop his crimes are evil people out to destroy him and his “wonderful good works,” and he cannot understand why they don’t just go away and die as he wants them to. After all, has he not paid millions of your money to make just that happen?

    So, he is indeed frustrated and full of hate. While all should be kneeling before him in worshipful reverence, no one really does that. Only his terrified minions kow tow, and they don’t do it satisfactorily well. He is starving for the admiration that feels he must have, knowing well deep down that he instead deserves hatred and scorn. He both knows and fears that one day soon the ax will fall, and he cannot confront that.

    “A black roiling mass of hate and frustration”.

  86. Everyone who helped build any part of the COS is dearly appreciated, even though it hasn’t turned out well. We worked hard in our own time, in different MEST universe times, in different locations. The orgs were built by the efforts of many for more than half a century.
    We saw that it was good at the time. Now we move on to something else. A whole new exterior to the COS handling of minds and preclear/preOTs. Thank you Jim, for your part.

  87. Thanks for that very beautiful and moving story. I hope to meet you guys one day.

  88. Thanks so much Jim… beautiful story and just very OT

  89. Jim,

    Beautiful, just beautiful.

  90. Hi Jim, Sinar;

    Such activities make us all a little bigger. Thanks.

    Jim, any chance of you, Chris and myself taking a bike break sometime this summer? I have about 10-14 days of travel time I can make available.

  91. Jim,
    Thank you for your moving story, I felt the tears of truth in my eyes. I was never at Int, but as I read your piece, it seemed to bring up, in an instant, my excitement in finding Scientology, in reading DMSMH, in joining th SO and working at CCLA, in getting beings on to the comm course, and all the beatiful people I worked with along the way. Thanks for your courage and truth.
    Chris Baer

  92. I can honestly say that would never be me. Because I thought about it once, a long while back. I thought “What would it be like if I just stopped by Flag to say hello?”. The truth and my other knowledge protected me from carrying out that whim. Because that’s all it is a whim. When I left Flag, I left behind people, Sea Org members mostly, with still undisclosed overt acts on myself and others. Is that worth going back to look at? Not for me. I am glad you enjoyed yourself out there spiritually in California. I don’t remember the Church of Scientology as anywhere I would feel glad to visit, but I do think of LRH and with him almost anything is possible. Maybe even a trip back to Flag for me one day! :) My ARC to you.

  93. “And our life began with our first real kiss.”

    “But this time, it was different than all the tears I’ve shed over these years we’ve been forced apart. This time there was an end to it. She’s not there, she is free again, and we know each other with no space or time to separate us as beings. We won……”

    “We are as whole as we ever were and ever will be.
    What’s next?
    Whatever we want.”

    Dear Jim,

    Thank you.
    I agree that all of Annie’s and your dreams shall come true. There is no stopping you.

    Espiritu

  94. Jim, in honor of St. Paddy’s Day:

    There once was a Pope on a Box
    Who thought he was sly as a fox
    But then a guy named Jim
    Went to visit him
    And the Pope slithered under the rocks!

  95. Reach & withdraw, the fundametal action of a dimension point, hence theta. Nice to see someone EP such a thing at the cauldron of Miscavige’s nightmare on Earth. I’ve never been there except by your words, I feel better about the place, thanks Jim, best to you.

  96. Freedom Fighter

    Wow. I don’t even know what to say. Annie was very lucky to have had you in her life. Everyone should be so lucky as to have someone love them as much as you obviously love her.

  97. Something Jim described made me curious about 2D relationships in the SO. I could be totally wrong but in a way I read Jim’s marriage proposal as a sort of “official start” to a relationship, rather than the culmination of one.

    I realize I might be interpreting Jim’s situation incorrectly but I have read a lot about people in the SO basically having one date before committing to marriage, or sly flirtation going on for a year with no actual conversation suddenly resulting in a proposal the first time they are finally allowed a few stolen moments alone by some chance. I just can’t wrap my head around the state of affairs.

    Let’s not even touch how the SO plays spouses against each other and does everything possible to discourage attachment or loyalty.

    For a organization that wanted to be progressive the complete suppression of human sexuality and need for intimate companionship is bizarre to me. I’ve been told much of it was rationalized by saying if you are flirting or in love then your off-purpose and basically wasting time that could be used for the good of Scientology.

    I know DM has corrupted this beyond insanity but it seems like he was able to due to some seeds in LRH policy. I got the impression that in the 1960′s when Hubbard was feeling some pressure for the non-traditional belief system he invented and then there was the rise of some very unsavory cults, many practicing what they labeled “extreme free love”, he decided to institute a more traditional view on sexual and relationship matters in the SO, probably also to try and reduce needless drama among young adults living in close quarters. So these original policies were then used by DM as a way to supress and control SO members as much as possible. Many of the unsavory free love cults of the 60′s used the idea of “free love” to break the bonds between couples, ensure no one could bond beyond the greater “group” and therefore enforce their commands for the “good of the group” who was to be a cult members only loyalty. DM has gone further in ensuring there is no “love” or sex period and all those urges must be repressed and refocused, and only loyalty to him is allowed.

    (The army and military have for centuries known the power of supressing young mens sexual drives, turning it into frustration and anger to then refocus in battle or towards the enemy. However, even the military knew you could only do this for limited periods of time, even they ensured the men got R&R and access to women as a reward or after long deployments away.)

  98. Hi Sammy,

    You’ve actually hit on a time-tested, tried and true method of dealing with enemies. One does this by categorizing people into one of three categories and handling as follows: 1. Avowed and knowing enemies: Nullify or eliminate them at every opportunity.. 2. Unwitting allies: Get them stuck in a maybe by having them do things that compromise their personal integrity and thus make them easy to control and unwittingly support your cause, and 3. Avowed and knowing allies: Allow them only to operate on orders.

    This is the pathetic Earth model for “winning a war” or “subjugating a people” that Miscavige and Co. work off of… Pitiful.

    Hey Dave, I got news for ya’. You can’t kill an immortal being. Why don’t you just get the Dev-T off of our lines with your piece of shit model for Scientology that doesn’t work and stop trying to corrupt the Indie field by sending out your goons that encourage others to deliver squirrel processes and altered sequence bridge actions to the Indy public. It won’t work.

    Ya’ see. You can’t get away with much before we catch on. We’re pretty fast on the uptake, fucker.

  99. ” Just imagine what could have been accomplished by now if he had only stayed out of the way and let these creative beings create!”

    well, it’s pretty simple. If your motive (purpose) is to make money, why you let certain people go. If, on the other hand your motive (purpose) is to free people, why you keep those (creative) people at all costs. Every regular thriving business on earth does the later when things maybe got skewed.

    It is only under the power of scientology that you have SP policy or disconnection policy.

  100. Absolutely beautiful and totally theta, Jim and Sinar.
    You are free.
    Annie is free. :)

  101. I am honored, privileged and deeply touched you call me: friend.

  102. Thank you Jim and Sinar for these moving and hugely illuminating stories.

    So that’s what became of ‘Over the Rainbow’:”a dangerous environment — and its especially dangerous when there is a man with flowers approaching.”

    You weren’t invited in to place the flowers in the chapel, where Annie’s name could be seen on the roll of honourable veterans.

    You had to talk to a ‘via’ – one of miscavige’s new race aborning.

    Richard Kaminski

  103. Thank you Jim and Sinar for sharing such a powerful experience.

    I had to walk away and give myself sometime to digest the significance of this, and what I really had a hard time with is this: that a bunch of flowers could stir up that much fear and hatred. That it could so poignantly punctuate the willful lack of empathy for another being and a marked disassociation with the rest of humanity that has become part of the
    MisCavige watermark.

    It took a great deal of confront to do what you did. It must be a comfort to know that you are able to have closure and that such an experience also serves to strengthen your resolve to continue in your crusade. Again, many thanks.

  104. Thank you for all the wonderful comments and communications. What a great bunch of people there are here. Man, I’m a lucky summamabitch to have such in my life.

    Jim

  105. Got on a limerick roll here……

    The lunatic Pope out in Hemet
    Just finally reached the limit
    All he can do is get down and hunker
    In his eighty million dollar bunker
    He’s too scared to come out for a minute

    When Jim came a callin’
    Little Davey started bawlin’
    Lou called in the PIs
    The whole Base was BIs
    Because of Davey’s constant squallin’

    There was a dwarf named Dave
    His girl Lou was his slave
    Whatever he told her to do
    She did by a factor of two
    To keep Davey from starting to rave

    There once was a guy named Davey
    He really was quite crazy
    He gripped a copper rod
    Wore a thong on his little bod
    And drank Scotch ’til all was quite wavy

    The Dwarf who made staff into scrubbers
    And called his executives lubbers
    Shouldn’t pretend
    Surprise in the end
    When his cell mates turn out to be Bubbas

    There was a dwarf Pope near Palm Springs
    Who couldn’t quit messing with things
    He took over a Church
    But was left in the lurch
    When Tom Cruise quit taking his bling

  106. This made a very interesting read even for me, a never was a scientologist, thank you for sharing and not weighing down your prose with in jargon or “sci-speak”.

  107. Touching. Thanks, Jim. I shed a tear. I also lost a beloved spouse to Scientology. Here’s to all of us that have. And to the day when no-one need suffer that same loss.

    disinfected

  108. Thanks Jim. As always, I appreciate your keen and penetrating observations. And I am deeply affected, as are many others, by you sharing with us, your very heart and soul. You are a beautiful being and we are lucky and better outselves for having you among us..

  109. And….Sinar, I also value your observations and the fine and very important way that you communicate them, and as well your decades of sincere and dedicated service to others.

  110. Wonderful post with helpful comments. Thank-you.
    And as always,
    Vic

  111. Jim and Sinar,
    Incredible story and so wonderful what you did and for Annie. She was always a wonderful sweet being. As someone that also was there for 22 years I was with you every step of the way. I’ve been back by there a few times in the last several years and can agree how dead and lifeless the place has become, I would say more like a mausoleum. The feeling of being free from all that is priceless and even more priceless is that those of us out are able to be together once again and I would say on the real other side of the rainbow. Free to communicate with each other at any time and in any place. My love to you and Sinar and our incredible Independent group!!

    • Hey Jackie — nice to see you gracing the blog with your presence. :)

      • Hi Mike, Thanks and I’m never far away. :-) I’ve just had my nose to the grindstone with a new job I finally got back in Sept. And as of late I’ve had a full load this semester with my schooling taking 4 classes….Thank gawd for study tech and KTL as now I’m an “A” student. Needless to say I don’t have much of a life other than that….LOL!!! But I have been tracking all that is going on. I was in tears when I read about Annie, it really saddened me, knowing that she didn’t deserve that kind of treatment or her family whatsoever!! Maybe this isn’t the forum but I did want to send congrats to you & Christie on your upcoming event! It is great to see all of us flourishing & prospering!

  112. Jean-François Genest

    This blog is SO therapeutic! Θ
    It is amazing that my alleged out-qualifications for the International Base & top management saved me from its Gulag. I did experience a Gulag of my own, however, with sleepless weeks/months working in silk-screen printing fumes and solvents while printing for the Dissemination Division of Flag Bureaux. There were also the additional endless “all-hands” evolutions to supplement the Int Base labor for material releases at David Miscavidge’s implant events.

    After reading all the posts on this blog over the years, I bask in the knowingness that I did have the skills and abilities to operate at that top level, but it was the SUPPRESSION, not my own inabilities, that prevented me from putting them to full use.

  113. This isn’t the first time the SO has been afraid of flowers.

  114. Jim, what a beautiful write up. Miscavige has fear for atacks by flowers.

    CD

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