Dave Fagen Has Something To Say

Dave Fagen – My Side of the Story

My name is Dave Fagen. I was on staff for 25 years in theChicago org of the Church of Scientology. I fully left the church in March of 2010 and announced my resignation to church officials.

After I left, a few people had asked me to write up a declaration introducing myself as someone who had left the church with an explanation as to why, as many others have done. I didn’t know what I could offer that would be much different than what others have written, such as the abuses in the church and other stories.

Then a moment came where I realized that I had a lot of attention on what my former friends in the church were thinking as to why I had suddenly just up and left after 25 years. I never had a chance to explain it to any of them especially since, to my knowledge, not one of them wanted me to tell them.

But, I thought, maybe some of them do want to know. And maybe some who don’t want to know now, will want to know sometime in the future even if it is years down the line.

As I was going through my life after the C of S, I kept imagining what I would want my former acquaintances in the church to know about what happened when I left over two years ago and how it all went down, and why. It culminated in a moment where I decided that I had a purpose now to offer to them my side of the story.

And I wanted them to know everything that happened and every morsel of my reasoning.

So I decided to write this blog. It took me over a year, very part-time, to write it and polish it up. blog link:  Dave Fagen: My Side of the Story.

Though this story is specifically addressed to the people who knew me when I was in the church, anyone who is interested can read it and it is my hope that anybody who reads it can get something beneficial out of it.

I think that this story could possibly be helpful to anyone who doesn’t like what he or she sees going on in the church these days and may need someone else’s viewpoint. And this story definitely does have a viewpoint.

Or maybe if you know someone who is in the church and can’t make up their mind and is going through the usual cognitive dissonance, well, though this is only one person’s viewpoint, it certainly is a full and detailed one. So maybe you would like to refer him or her to my story.

Or if you are already out of the church, you may just find it interesting to get yet another viewpoint. I know for myself, I can’t get enough viewpoints on this whole thing and haven’t gotten sick of the stories after two years and don’t see that happening anytime soon.

My story as written is very long. I know that may be a turn-off for some. But there was nothing that I wrote in this blog that I felt was any less important to be made known to my former acquaintances and colleagues than anything else so I decided not to shorten it.

Instead I made it into sections with titles, so that in case you don’t want to read the whole thing, you can just pick out parts that interest you and read those.

“My Side of the Story” answers for me the question: “If I could talk to my former friends still in the Church of Scientology about why I left, what would I say exactly?”


124 responses to “Dave Fagen Has Something To Say

  1. Thanks for the huge work, Dave. To write and publish was correct, of course.

  2. Dave
    I read your blog and I want to thank you so much for your hard work, your clarity and your openness. You are an inspiration!

  3. Dave,

    I’veI read 7 or 8 pages now and the one thing that comes through loud and clear to me is your honesty. You’re exactly the kind of person I’d like to have as a terminal if I were on lines. I look forward to reading the rest.

  4. Hi Dave – Congratulations to you and your wife Sindy for figuring it all out and looking. Your blog is excellent – and beautifully designed to bring one up to confront on a steady gradient. It may have been intended for those in the Chicago area, but even here, in the southern hemisphere where I am – it resonates strongly. I have not read it all yet – but I want to thank you particularly for putting up the whole reference on What your Fee (now Donation) Buys, and the topics that follow on from there. I got it ! Thank you and Sindy for your 25 years of service to a great purpose, and thank you for your perseverence and courage in putting up the blog. Its truly appreciated.

  5. Dave, A huge welcome and thanks also for doing what LRH says. The steps for a person leaving a suppressive group are laid out by LRH known as the A to E steps. They are for everyone leaving a suppressive group and most people follow those steps organically, i.e., whether they realize it or not. They describe in precise terms exactly what a person needs to do to recover his life, recover himself, recover his integrity, recover his freedom, recover his sanity, shake off the bullshit and also put a 17′ long wooden stake into the heart of the beast. Blood does spew out everywhere, but it’s also a hell of a lot of fun and everyone who has followed those steps has reported immense case gain with each forward step. To recap:

    (0) Wake up and “come to your senses” as regards your membership in a suppressive group.

    (A) Stop committing the present time overts and ceasing all suppression so you can get a case gain. This is done by withdrawing your personal support from the suppressive group and ceasing to condone its criminality and abuses.

    (B) A public announcement is required explaining your previous support of the group and stating the influences or motivations which caused you to support the group before you came to your senses. That has to get published broadly particularly to former associates. LRH says this letter should be calculated to expose any conspiracy and that means blowing the whistle on David Miscavige — the man behind the conspiracy. You can do that here on Marty’s blog or on Scientology-cult.com or both, like Dave just did. Plus Dave went further and created his own blog.

    (B1) Get in the factor of exchange where it is out. In this case, you may need to pursue a refund (to yourself) of ill-gotten gains from the Church or IAS (etc.) since they are the squirrel group in question and obtained the money by fraudulent means.

    (B2) Do an amends project to make up any damage you personally caused to friends or family or to the human race as a whole through your personal support of David Miscavige and his fascist regime. Don’t bother with the “IJC” (which is actually David Miscavige) since he’s the SP. This is not self-abnegation, this is you getting square with the world and winning back the trust of mankind. And if you say “Well, I’m just nobody” my response is not doing this step is why you are nobody.

    (C) Retrain from the bottom up. Since you were not actually part of the conspiracy, but just a victim to it, common sense dictates you need to start applying the tech you know to improve conditions around you (which also is part of your amends). But eventually I think you would want to review, retread or retrain especially on the basics of Scientology because they are going to have a whole new meaning to you now. I think you may find that you now embody the Code of Honor, for example.

    (D) Make your own notes on these matters and keep them for yourself. You are wearing the hat of IJC for yourself since the Church, by electing to follow and empower a suppressive person, has abdicated all responsibility and all formerly worn hats.

    (E) Let the world know when you are done and celebrate the fact. These are just the broad strokes, there is more to it then this. And you can read it for yourself in the Scientology Ethics book, page 316.

    These steps laid out by LRH are the correct actions. It isn’t just a matter of doing a mere “Doubt formula.” We are dealing with a suppressive entity of the first order. You have to do something about it and you will FULLY RECOVER by doing so.

  6. Hi Dave,
    While I have not yet finished reading your entire write-up I want to fire off a few words to let you know how much I appreciate your endeavour. All the best.

  7. Dave I read every article. Fascinating! You really took the time to look at LRH policy and apply it to the situation.

  8. Dave,
    Wonderful blog! I found this page to be particularly brilliant! http://davefagen.wordpress.com/why-its-not-wrong-to-look/ You also did a beautiful job in the care and gentleness with which you so expertly handled the shock factor. Thank you for sharing your story.

  9. Dave, just spent a rainy Saturday morning reading your blog. Brilliant. It is intelligent, well-reasoned and very thorough. You may never know the full impact of what you have written, but I can assure you it will be greater than you might imagine. All the best to you and Sindy.

  10. Phil Bruemmer

    Dave, this is one of the best and most comprehensive writeups/announcements/exposes that I have read to date.
    I detect real care for your fellow man, as well as true integrity.
    Thanks for publishing.

  11. Off the fence

    Boy, talk about specifics!
    Dave Fagen, the as-is king.
    Thanks for the clarity.

  12. HannibalTheFirst

    Hi Dave,
    great blog, every Scientologist should read it.
    It cuts so plain and straight to the truth exposing the criminality and craziness of the COS.
    Well done on keeping your eyes open and well done on this excellent piece of work.

  13. Thank you, Dave. A real masterpiece. Your data analysis is spot on and your communication of it is excellent.

    I’ve flagged it for reference to anyone who comes on my lines who wants more data on the actual scene.

    There are two things that miscavige seems to be very good at. One is his ability to extort money from others with lies and false promises. The other is his ability to cut comm lines which might otherwise expose his crimes. He’s good, but just not good enough to stem the flow of truth.

    I read your entire blog. Enjoyed every bit of it.


  14. Dave Fagen
    What a great educational tool.
    I salute you.
    You have carried the torch from Jeff Hawkin’s “Leaving Scientology” eloquently and this will have far reaching effects.
    Very very well done.

  15. Wow! Holy Cow! Dave,
    So far I made it over the middle of your blog so far. Awesome!

    It is truly impressive to follow the train of your thoughts and decisions, layed out with HCOPL VIEWPOINT in mind, with a logic not often seen despite your having gone through the tumultuous times that doubt creates. With real ARC you carefully inspect every facet of facts presented to you.
    Rather than overwhelm with data you apply that gentle, humble persistence and desire for discovery that literally makes the reader hang on your lips. It is a rare and unique type of page-turner, almost a thriller and I can’t wait to read it to the end.
    Despite having looked at much data in this Co$-Indie controversy a new realization occurred that DM does NOT use “Pilot Project” Tech but just puts into action any of his “brain farts”.
    This is great for Old timers and Newcomers.
    Thank you so much for all the time and effort spent and for creating a new “Div 6″ introductory entrance LANE into “Indie land”.


  16. plainoldthetan

    Dave: Your site is wonderful and helpful to those of us trying to communicate the continuing heresy of the Pope on a Box, Miscavige.

    What I was really struck by is that without the evaluation, invalidation, lies and crass manipulation coming down your lines, you would still be on staff producing.

    One of the continuing outpoints of the Cof$ is that it is totally willing to waste proven producing and enthusiastic staff members while begging and cannibalizing staff from other organizations to fill its Idull Orgs.

    It would be like Constantine purging the early Christian communities of Gnostics but then complaining that he couldn’t find holy men to found and anchor Christian outposts.

    “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” — Abraham Lincoln

  17. I have been reading more of Dave’s blog, and the more I read the more I am impressed. What I like most about it is the first person observation from the inside, conclusions made independently. Dave is incredibly honest in this – incredibly honest. There are no embellishments, no over-the-top diatribes, just a straight-ahead lay down of the facts and conclusions drawn from the facts. It is an honest self-assessment of what he believed, when and why, and how this changed as the facts came to life. It is the account of someone in the trenches in Chicago, hardly a hot-bed of Scientology. It is amazing.

    This is truly a milestone in the liberation of Scientology.

    Thanks, Marty for posting this.

  18. Lots of good info in your blog Dave. It reads well for newbies as well as old hats. I’ve read maybe half of it now, admittedly skipping around some. I just finished the part on how you were declared. Good grief. Seems typical these days to bypass any justice action and just issue Golden Rod “Delcare”. Phone didn’t work… my ass. Recourse? What’s that? lol And you don’t even get a copy, much less a comm ev. Crazy freakin times.

    A good friend recently received a comm from someone through “Linked In” believe it or not that he had to cut the comm line because of some “declare”. First he heard of it and he hasn’t even come out publicly yet. Talk about squirrels, they’ve become bonifide nut crackers.

    Anyway, very well done on the write up! Best to you and Sindy in your new life ventures.

  19. Your humble servant

    Well, Dave, I have read the whole account now and I must say it is a fantastic job, very readable and intensely interesting–very thorough. It is a monumental work, really. It is also beautifully laid out into concise sections. Thank you!

    I also agree it will be of great value to those wondering and wanting to find out more. While what you have described is shocking, I know it is the truth. I made quite a few comments here and there at the end of the sections.

  20. Dave-what a great write-up and blog-you are right ,the more comm the better! I love that your wife was an ethical IAS reg!!! How awesome is that! And I’m sure a real anomaly.
    The Cof $ keeps losing beautiful people like you and your wife! Welcome.

    • The Cof $ keeps losing beautiful people like you and your wife!

      Ain’t that the truth? I was remarking to my wife today, that the church has run off the very best, the brightest, and most able beings that were ever in the group. How lucky we independents are! They’re all out here!

  21. Dave cites HCO PL 23 Feb 1970 Quality of Service (http://davefagen.wordpress.com/comments-about-the-churchs-methods-of-handling-those-who-speak-out-against-it/)…

    “When persons are poorly processed or poorly trained….”
    “When persons are permitted to take higher grades without really attaining lower grades…”

    Wouldn’t it explain a lot if one such person somehow got to be the head of the worldwide Church of Scientology?

  22. I am happy to read your blog. I am still your friend and you are one of my favorite supes!
    I am not going to be stating my real name soon as I choose to apply good roads, good weather with the corporate church. I am not in comm with anyone still part of the corporate church, outside of good roads, etc. on social networking sites.
    I gave you an important silver ring. Now I can envision your beautiful smile.
    When I heard through another of your and Sindy’s declare order, it was the end of the end for me, and my entire family. “If Dave and Sindy Fagan are SP’s (laughter at that time of the conversation at the absurdity!), then pigs do fly!”
    Upon returning to Chi from LA, and having the most disturbing experience of again not getting further up the Bridge, I started looking and really confronting what was actually there–just like we all have, on and off this blog. I also experienced watching very smart, competent, standard LRH tech terminals other than you, leave the S.O., several I knew personally and trained under. Several were shocking as it made no sense they would leave. Too many left permanently from cancer, most disturbing and sad.
    Having equally disturbing comm with another at the Chi org, this furthered my looking.
    The missing ingredient of anyone not confronting the truth’s of the current, corporate C of $, is just that –confronting.
    I am very proud of your application of standard LRH tech and my family and I have done the same. What’s your email, Dave?

  23. Dave Fagen:
    O M G !!!
    I am reading your blog. IT IS A PLEASURE!
    Your blog is C O M P R E H E N S I V E !
    Your blog is NO SMALL THING.
    Your blog is creating TREMENDOUS CONSEQUENCES.
    Thank You!

  24. Dave,

    The only advice I can give you as a computer guy is this.

    If you spent alot of time on your blog make sure you back everything up, lest it get lost.

    Also, say what’s truly in your heart, not what you think everyone wants to hear.

    The long run is more important than the short term.

  25. Dave,

    I read your entire blog several days ago. You did such a good job with this, and the care you took to create it is obvious.

    Your efforts will be rewarded for many years to come, and others will benefit from it enormously. I imagine that in writing it you’ve already reaped its direct benefits.

    I’m a big fan of just telling the story that is yours. And you’ve told YOUR story beautifully.


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