The Birthday Con

LRH’s Birthday Game was designed to encourage Organizations to make it up to the size and productivity of Old St Hill.  During the life of LRH the game consisted of orgs competing by reporting up a number of production statistics reflecting delivery of Scientology services to the public. During that time and for a few years after LRH passed away the Birthday Game resulted in several orgs actually achieving something on the order of Old St Hill size.

Since David Miscavige’s assumption of total dictatorship over Scientology Inc the LRH Birthday Game has been gradually corrupted into a  Con.  The game receives lip service for the sole purpose of giving Miscavige justification for conducting an event each March 13th wherein he can have awards passed out.  For St Hill size orgs?  For the past decade and one half, no.  The “game” has been so corrupted it does not even lead to expansion.  Instead, it leads to a bunch of busy work on statistics that lead to a photo op in some Div 6 course room, at best.  Recent evidence indicates the game is now little more than a con.

The email below authored and circulated by the Birthday Game I/C of  the Los Angeles Foundation Organization says it all.  LA Foundation is vying to win the Birthday Game by:

a) Putting a bunch of veteran Scientologists onto a Div 6 (beginner, new public) course part-time (which can only detract from the org product of auditors made)

b) Increasing IAS (International Association of Scientologists) donations (which diverts gross income, staff pay, and money paid for auditing and training – all vital to org success)

Sent: Mar 3, 2012 9:13 AM 
Subject: RUSH: LA FDN still #1 – Can you help this final week of the Birthday Game? 

It’s a very tight game.  LA Fdn has this final week to maintain their lead and pull off the final victory!  They have never won a Birthday Game before, so this is amazingly exciting.  If you like to help, now is the moment of truth!

Bring in friends, family, YOURSELF!  If you are already onlines doing a course somewhere else, come into LAF and join our Life Improvement Club!
This Club is for active Scientologists.  All you have to do is add just one course period a week, in the Div.6 Life Improvement Courseroom.  This gives you the opportunity to zoom in on improving specific areas of your life without taking away from your Bridge progress.

My husband and I have done many of the Life Improvement Courses in this way and it is so worth it!  Those courses are so stabilizing.

L, Your Friends, Daniel & Diane Leriche

P.S. Of course there are many other ways to contribute as well.  See the message below for another vital needed and wanted:

One item that is urgently needed is a total of $7,858 in IAS donations done through LA F by Saturday night.It will result in 15 Birthday Game points!

Whatever you can flow or get others to flow, please do so now or right away or immediately.

Call any one of the following to make donations:

  • Laura, IAS Membership Officer LA F: 323-632-5714
  • Claire Taylor, Dir Success LA F:  818-482-4112 
  • Andrea Kluge: 818-661-0786

 

Thank you!

 Andrea Kluge

LA F Birthday Game I/C

PAC OT Committee

150 responses to “The Birthday Con

  1. Wow, this really is an utter perversion of the LRH Birthday Game. It is 1 million percent off purpose – and per LRH one of the primary factors in winning the Birthday Game was Purpose (correct purpose). Now it has degenerated into trying to steal public from other orgs to do “moonlights” in their Div Six course room 2 1/2 hours a week? And they get 15 (count ’em) Bonus Points for hitting a certain IAS Crush regging/begging quota? Sick. By the way, the orgs now apparently are granted Statuses based on the amount of IAS donations they reg per year. I got an email a while back from a nearby org bragging about how they had achieved some status that otherwise only Ideal Orgs had achieved (they are not yet an Ideal Org). This stuff is not only off purpose, it is at counter purpose and destructive.

    • On occasion I’ve been into the three local Orgs on a regular basis, and asked to look at the stats. They press me for info, and I say “I once read some Scientology and studied a bit of it, and as I’m interested again I’m considering doing services at this org, but first: show me your stats”.

      So they show me, and its Non-Existence, across the board.

      So I say to them, “whats your plan for making more Auditors this month?”, to which the reply, inevitably is “well, we’re going for highest-ever GI so we can afford to purchase our Ideal Org building, so we can make Auditors more than ever”, to which I, flabbergasted, get up and leave.

      I suppose I shall go and do it again some time soon, and ask what is up with the Birthday Game while I’m at it. If I ever get the right, per-LRH policy answer, I’ll stay and sign up for a course or two. But, somehow I doubt it’ll happen.

      Scumbag Org: Get asked by a genuinely interested and willing-to-pay public exactly whats up with Auditors Made stat, start talking about Ideal Org Buildings, instead ..

      • Oh my. It really is accurate that you pretty much have to close the doors and refuse public to have none. Or, fail to deliver something of value. Either way, oh my.

    • Unrepressed CA Native

      @HereNow, “Wow, this really is an utter perversion of the LRH Birthday Game. It is 1 million percent off purpose – and per LRH one of the primary factors in winning the Birthday Game was Purpose (correct purpose). Now it has degenerated into trying to steal public from other orgs to do “moonlights” in their Div Six course room 2 1/2 hours a week? And they get 15 (count ‘em) Bonus Points for hitting a certain IAS Crush regging/begging quota? Sick. By the way, the orgs now apparently are granted Statuses based on the amount of IAS donations they reg per year. I got an email a while back from a nearby org bragging about how they had achieved some status that otherwise only Ideal Orgs had achieved (they are not yet an Ideal Org). This stuff is not only off purpose, it is at counter purpose and destructive.”

      You Observation exactly parallels my take on this year’s Birthday Game, the original purpose is gone.

      ~”One item that is urgently needed is a total of $7,858 in IAS donations done through LA F by Saturday night.It will result in 15 Birthday Game points!”
      Andrea Kluge
      LA F Birthday Game I/C
      PAC OT Committee

  2. The scam continues!! I just don’t get it…it’s got to be these people are on “auto pilot”!

  3. Corrupt, indeed. When did “IAS donations” become a birthday game stat? And what production does it represent, exactly? And is it really a VFP? In other words, is it something you can put in your org-wide clay demo (as is demanded on org executive checksheets) of something that is exchanged with the public?

    What? It’s only something that’s exchanges with Int Management? What do you get in exchange? More demands from Int Management for more donations? Sheesh.

  4. morelivesthanacat

    Boy, the things you can buy these days in Scn…

    1) Ethics protection.
    2) Lower Conditions formulas signed off
    3) Silence (not always a good investment)
    4) Birthday Game points ($524 per point)

    Pretty soon it will be course certificates and Grade Chart certs.

    Or has that happened already?

    • morelivesthanacat–unfortunately I had just taken a big mouthful of my favorite “hot cinnamon sunset” tea to savor, before I read your post. Nearly kilt myself trying not to spray the keyboard. Still laughing…

    • OMG, this is hilarious! $524 per Birthday Game Point🙂 What’s next? Orgs will start trading them?

      If LA Fdn does actually win the Birthday Game with this, they can put on a seminar in their Div 6 for Scientologist business people called “How To Creat Fake Expansion By Shortcircuiting Your Div 6 And Doubling Your Income With Aboslutely No Work”. It should sell well for a $1,997 special (instead of the $2,997 regular price).

    • plainoldthetan

      From what I understand, you can’t get onto OT VII or OT VIII without a record of $500,000 or more in IAS donations. So, as far as Grade Chart certs, the answer is yes.

      • From what I understand, you can’t get onto OT VII or OT VIII without a record of $500,000 or more in IAS donations.

        I realize that the IAS has become a blood sucking vampire, but half a million in donations just to route onto OT VII? I find that very hard to believe.

        • plainoldthetan

          Large amounts of $$$$, in excess of $250,000 are necessary to “prove your involvement in Scientology” to qualify for OT VII. Same for OT VIII.

          Back in LRH’s day, it was merely enough to train to interned Class V or Class VI.

          Of course, LRH didn’t write the $$$$ anywhere, so the idjuts at Flag or on the ship can make up any number they want.

  5. You’ve got to be kidding… IAS donations is now a GDS counted in the Birthday Game??? Is this for real?

    • When I was ED in the 90s the only stat you could count that was related to IAS memberships was number of membership sign ups. And you could only count the annual and lifetime memberships and not anything beyond that. Oh how things have changed!

    • Look, training auditors and getting people on the bridge and all that other stuff made money. David Miscavige has merely made the process more efficient by removing the need to do all that tedious training and getting people on the bridge. Works much better now.

      So now you too can be a platinum honor of the valient world theta freedom certificate holder for a mere $1m, gold $500,000; silver $250,000, brass $100,000; copper $50,000; lead, $25,000; tin $10,000; mention in dispatches, $5000; honorary mention in dispatches, $2000; footnote in dispatches, $1000; duly noted, $500; come on ya holding out on me, are you really a scientologist, I know you have a college fund…<$500.

  6. I recently saw a data point that quoted Auditor magazine #158-159 as saying that AOLA minted 193 Clears in April-May 1979. Advance! Magazine 205 said that AOLA delivered 1 (yes, one!) Clear in April-May 2010. If you crunch the math, that is a rate of decline of 18.5% per year in the number of Clears produced every single year for 31 years.

    So while it’s obviously a desperation play to take veterans and put them on rookie courses to pad out the statistics, what the above data implies is that the higher level stats are in such a state of collapse that there’s really no harm in pulling people onto lower-level courses to pad those stats — there’s not enough action in minting auditors to matter. In other words, LA Foundation’s actions show they understand fully that the long-term game is over and that all there is left to do is rearrange deck chairs on the Titanic.

    Now step back a second and think about what it means to have a business in 18.5% decline per year in “sales” of its “core product” every single year for a third of a century. That decline is actually as hard to achieve as growing a business by 18.5% per year for the same period of time. Only the world’s best businesses (Microsoft, Apple, Google, etc.) are capable of growing at or above those rates for a decade or more, and only a handful have grown at that rate for over three decades (Microsoft grew at 24.8% per year from 1979 to 2010, perhaps the most remarkable sales growth story in history).

    Over time, most businesses with average management skills will grow at or near the overall growth of the economy, which is typically +2% or +3% per year. They may lag or beat the average for a few years, but generally over a long enough time, they will ultimately “revert to the mean.” And “average management skills” means basically that they get yes/no decisions right exactly 50% of the time.

    I submit that the Church’s uninterrupted 30-plus year implosion in minting Clears requires management to be so bad that their decision-making win rate is significantly less than random chance. In other words, David Miscavige has to work as hard to screw up the way he has as Bill Gates had in order to grow Microsoft. In the past, I had ascribed much of PoB’s actions to stupidity, greed, arrogance or normal character flaws writ much larger than they are in normal people. But in the wake of this data, given how hard it is to ignore reality enough to keep a 31-year losing streak intact, maybe there is something to the idea of Black Dianetics, Black PR, etc. being expended in the hallowed halls of Int Base.

    • You’re missing the Purpose of David Miscavige: To make sure nobody actually does Standard Scientology.

      • I steered clear of addressing DM’s purpose, since there are many on this site who have direct personal experience with DM and who are thus infinitely more qualified to say whether preventing the practice of Standard Scientology is his purpose or not. Regardless of whether this is due to intention or stupidity, the results are pretty damning. It doesn’t even look like people are practicing DM’s brand of bunged-up bowdlerized Golden Age of Squirreling Technology.

        If that is his explicit and conscious purpose, I can’t fathom why it would be. From a business strategy perspective, why choke off sales from your “core product” and depend on potentially volatile income from other sources? In other words, what happens if you’ve already killed off Scientology (standard or otherwise) and the trumped-up Basics book sale scam has run its course, and then the already small pool of rich suckers you can reg for IAS donations dries up completely? Far smarter to try and grow sales of your core product then add in other stuff (like IAS and all the other distractions like square dances at the Dallas Org that they have done).

        For the record, Hubbard’s policies about making money only from selling Scientology and insistence on the notion of “exchange” rather than donations are right on from a business strategy point of view… Any smooth-talking perfect-haired Rolex-wearing Harvard MBA business strategy consultant would tell you that.

        • “I steered clear of addressing DM’s purpose, since there are many on this site who have direct personal experience with DM and who are thus infinitely more qualified to say whether preventing the practice of Standard Scientology is his purpose or not.”

          As long as I see him trying to attract politicians and goverments I don’t need to know him personally in order to know that he is playing a counter-agenda.
          Ron wrote lots of stuff during the time from 67-70 re globalization, world government and such things.
          All DM is trying to do is bringing Scientology in a frame where it will qualify as a world religion. He hopes to get his “Constantine” within the top-political ranks.
          But guess what – he can forget it. Scientology is designed in such a way, that when you try to shorten its capabilities you won’t get it dessiminated.
          It’s wirtten right there in the KSW#1 reference.
          There is nothing like Scientology in this world. David Miscavige underestimates Scientology’s core concepts.
          He is surrounded by incompetent lawyers, advisors and that he will go soon has nothing to do with the “outside” but solely with his own deeds.

        • JP,
          Wonderful posts, both of these. On the stats one, it is covered in LRH refs on stat management that the phenom of “holding down” stats will occur and can be traced back to a particular type of “purpose”. The two align. So BY STATS one can get a good idea of purpose – in this case David Miscavige’s.

        • George M. White

          John P,
          Excellent business analysis.
          I have always noticed that Miscavige will “blow off” highly qualified people for no sound business reason. As I drove past the empty Super Power building yesterday, I thought about how easy it would be for someone of sound mind to fill it.
          GMW

        • I never could make “sense” out of it, but one thing is for sure, David Miscavige is not stupid as far as intelligence is concerned. He doesn’t have many instances of “oops” or wrong decisions. He is going full steam ahead (he likes to refer to it in analogies of a bulldozer) with whatever purpose/intention he has and not one aspect or facet of it is unintentional and not planned.

          Either it is pure destruction and/or combined with some over-bloated sense of know-best grandiose the likes of which can only be found in historical mad men, none of whom can be understood but who all worked tirelessly towards some end goal of ultimate power though everyone around them who could still look could see they were marching themselves straight into the depths of hell.

          How does one makes sense out of that?

      • Mother of Grendel

        N – you are 100% correct!

    • Good points John. It is in fact a company that is folding.

  7. Your humble servant

    Yes, you are right that it is a big con now. IAS donations never used to be part of the statistics. That has nothing to do with the genuine of Scientology organizations, which would have been well trained students and well audited people.

  8. Pathetic, especially the donate to the IAS part. These guys aren’t scientologists in my book.

    • Maybe we should get a court order forbidding them to call themselves Scientologists!

      • TroubleShooter

        +10,000

      • Lynne,
        Technically speaking, were it not for the fact that Scientology services are religious in nature, the FTC would have jurisdiction to investigate whether or not DM’s church is “passing off” Scientology. That is, baiting and switching, saying one thing and delivering another, or in this particular case, “co-terminalizing” a Church with Scientology and in fact selling something that ISN’T Scientology.

        Since the Dave has trademarks, it falls under the Commerce Clause of the US Constitution, but that runs into the First Amendment protections. Still, it was a thought I had at one point to pursue him for RICO charges of repeated Mail Fraud and “passing off” Scientology that wasn’t any such thing.

        • Jim

          I may be wrong, but I have never actually heard that Scientology holds any rights at all to the processes or their use. By my understanding, all he has copyrights and trademarks for are the written works, and a few trademarked symbols. He has no claim on the intellectual properties, and that would include all of the useable parts of Scientology. You just need RTCs permission to COPY the documents or use certain symbols.

          For the Church to claim that “Services relating to Scientology religious philosophy are delivered throughout the world EXCLUSIVELY by licensees of the Church of Scientology International with the permission of the Religious Technology Center.” is a totally bogus and fraudulent statement. By my understanding they have absolutely no legal right to the sole USE of the technologies and Philosophy of L, Ron Hubbard. Besides which It is demonstrably not true even with cursory observation. They are NOT the EXCLUSIVE users of ““Services relating to Scientology religious philosophy.”… Never were and never will be.

          It is simply another bald faced lie.

          These may be their own internal rules to control their own membership, but nobody else in their right mind need pay any attention to this nonsense for a second.

          Please correct me if I am wrong.

          Eric S

  9. Mother of Grendel

    I am so sick of pushing stats by pleading with Div 2 public (who aren’t doing Div 2 courses because they’re on impossible runways for Basics and ACCs) to pretend to be Div 6 public. Sign up for a course you don’t need and shouldn’t be on in order to fill a course room! Attend one more IAS briefing to fill out BIS! Decades long church members – do the intro PE course so we can get the numbers.
    And the sheeple pushing this crap are so PTS to David Miscavige that they can’t even see the gross outness – yes, con – that they’re perpetuating.
    The Andrea Kluge’s – and all the other OT Committee members doing this in their orgs – have lost all integrity and have truly sold out to the dark lord midget.

    • Another Layer

      Very sad about Andrea.l

    • The BIS stat – this reminds me of the time there were 40 protestors outside an Org, spending their Saturday afternoon with full attention-units on the subject of Scientology, and did anyone – anyone at all? – in the Org have the confront to do an actual real event, a PR handling, and bring some of those young people, very excited and interested in the subject of Scientology, *into the Org as a BIS stat*?

      I mean, you have 40 people outside the Org, actually interested in the subject of Scientology – yet BIS is in NON-Existence? WTF? A real Scientologist would have at least gotten 5 or 10 people in from the protest lines, sat right down, and actively engaged in a discussion of true Scientology, The Subject.

      I think its high time we founded our own Org and got it to Saint Hill size without the “help” of Int ‘Management’.

      • BIS used to mean “bodies in the shop on a paid service” if this is still the case then the protesters wouldn’t count. Unless of course you sign them up then you would have also gotten a First Start as well as the BIS.

        The problem would be finding someone to confront the protesters and then grant them enough beingness to have a genuine comm cycle. As you said a true Scientologist but I think OSA would have a problem with that.

  10. The worst par of this con is the utter betrayal of staff by the missing Universe Corp.

    • martyrathbun09

      Stay tuned for more on that score.

      • Chomp! Chomp! Can you hear the chomping at the bit! Give, Marty, give!

      • I look forward to more on the UC.

        I remember the last time I saw a UC member in front of ASHO LA, quite a long time ago. He was a very handsome young man. But, I was struck with the fact that his uniform made him look like a bellhop from the old Dunes hotel and casino.

        I had the distinct impression someone uplines was trying to make this poor guy look like a finocchio. It looked demeaning. It was not the appearance of someone I would want auditing me. Too garish. I would not be in session with someone dressed like that.

        • davemessenger

          I have been assured by someone close to the Universe Corps that your concerns about the uniforms are being addressed as we speak. They have been working on a dance routine choreographed by Mr. Miscavige personally. The bellhops backline outfits will tie in to a new release of the updated original re-released Golden Age of Materiality to be announced at the New Ideal Dunes Hotel & Casino.

          I hope this puts your mind at ease.

    • This is probably the biggest con on staff in all of Scientology. I was part of a St. Hill Size Org that was “given” a universe corps. We made about 10 clears, most of which were later rescinded. Then the UC left “to be rotated”. Another team returned briefly, made no real staff bridge progress and then left for good. The UC was always the carrot that was used as a stick. “get to St. Hill size and you get the UC”. when they arrived it was “if you are not upstat you get no UC” when they left it was “they are not coming back unless we….” and on and on. Years later it’s just ignored but hey, who cares, the org certainly isn’t St. Hill size any more so back to square zero for all of you.

  11. George M. White

    The birthday game is really in motion in Clearwater.
    Drove through the area near the Super Power building
    Saw two public and two staff in one square mile.
    By the way, Mr. Miscavige, you need maintenance on the
    exterior of the Super Power building. Florida sun and rain
    have quickly worn out the exterior on a closed structure.
    GMW

    • Your humble servant

      George,

      Interesting that the exterior is still deteriorated. I noticed this in 2004 and wrote to Laurie Webster about it. Miscavige has no serious plans about this building since he is indifferent about actually opening it. It has already mostly served its purpose as an incredible fundraiser. Most of the funds, which were not actually needed for construction have gone somewhere else–into the billion and a half dollars coffers? Miscavige couldn’t care less that the exterior is deteriorating.

      • Don’t recall the exact ins and outs but it was mentioned to me at Flag (by someone ‘in the know’ – LOL – irony) that the exterior had been left like that deliberately so that the building would remain ‘incomplete’. It was something to do with a legal suit regarding Reed Slatkin going on at the time or county taxes – it didn’t make any sense to me at the time (non-sequitur unusual ‘solutions’ tend to do that to me) but that exposed side of the building was according to this odd source left that way for a reason.

        • ‘Was left that way’ – getting late here in England🙂

        • Sam,
          I seem to recall that there was a big push by Pinellas County (or the City of Clearwater) to call the building “Complete” so that they could start leveeing property taxes on it. Perhaps that explains why it has been halted as described… (The $$$ amounts were immense if I am recalling correctly)

        • This, btw, is why most of the apartments in Cairo are left incomplete. Besides, aren’t churches generally exempt (save for the bookstore) from property taxes?

    • Laurie Webster– the pathological liar con woman

      “I guarantee you 100% the Mecca will be open by Jan 1 2011.”

      • She is a volunteer. And she has begged for millions of dollars and gotten it for the Church. For 24 years she has worked at the Flag Land Base give or take a few weeks she went to Int. Her post is begging. She has not hat pack or checksheet or L.R.H. references for that post.
        In all of that time and for all of the money she bought in, who awarded her the L’s? Who took responsibility to fix that? She offered herself to be fixed many times through reckless abuses. She was only transferred and hidden from important lines. Nobody there has cared for her except week by week, Thursday at 2:00 to Thursday at 2:00. She can be fixed. Everybody there can be fixed. If I could be fixed, anybody can be fixed. The outpoint for me is that she has been at the Flag Land Base for over two decades and has only gotten worse with lying and conning people. Because of following orders. If someone dwelling at the base for over two decades who is supposed to get services in exchange for volunteer work cannot evolve, go up the bridge, practice standard Scientology or get fixed, why are people visiting that place as mere guests still dreaming?

      • Laurie Webster– the pathological liar con woman

        “I guarantee you 100% the Mecca will be open by Jan 1 2011.”

        Just damn…. What happened to Laurie? She was once my senior, and was a terrific big thetan to work for.

  12. When you can’t get new people in I guess the next best thing is to “recycle” the existing public. Kind of like ordering OT VIII’s back onto objectives. They just keep hammering the same public for more and more. It may be the best example of a dwindling spiral that I’ve ever seen.

  13. Let’s see — criminal exchange (no exchange, IAS donations) is a birthday game stat? It isn’t even enough to fake stats now – they have to add destructive ones.

  14. As a twenty-year public, down on the front lines at a Class V org, I witnessed and experienced what the birthday game had sunk to: Quickie Grades to accomplish “stats”.

    I’m certain others here can attest to this as well.

    • Gee, Bryan, I had forgotten that completely! Do you remember how some of us used to uphold our integrity by refusing to attest when we didn’t feel we had the full completion of the Level? That didn’t work. Somehow we got convinced that they must know best so we signed it off.

      Then we got clever and when we saw the fervor starting up about Monday and realized we were the target, we managed to bog completely until they saw it was too late to get us through by Thursday at 2:00 and went on to other prey. How many people did that? Love this reminiscing stuff…

      • That was sometimes on the training, sometimes on the auditing.

      • Lynne,
        In 1976 when The Stat Push PL came out, I felt as if it was directed at me personally. I certainly had stat pushed in unconscionable ways. That was almost 40 years ago. It seems that issue, as well as the CS Series on results, the Director of Success Hat Policy which covers what to do if the person does not feel they’ve got the result (the get FREE auditing to repair it to an exact result), and the body of the subject is gone. Gone, gone, gone and in its place – fake numbers on lined paper. Hmmm, not much of a deal that.

        • Reckon we all did it Jim. Otherwise we’d have had to report up all stats in Non-E.
          That very thought used to cross my mind everytime we did the weekly stat evolution at CLOUK – how many times did we take points for ‘normal’ or ‘affluence’ when it was a spike on a flat-lining bottom of the graph real non-E marked on a piece of paper scaled to make the tiniest squeak up look like screaming affluence?
          I knew we were bullshitting ourselves… but reckon it’s taken this long to get the withhold off…. Hahahahahahahaha! Thanks for leading the way😉 xxx

  15. Mark McKinstry

    I got a similar email from an org in Sydney. Priority one was IAS donations, then service. How did that creep into the Birthday Game?

    Has the original LRH ED that the game is based on been recalled so that the only “source” is the event?

    Andrea and Dave Kluge have been around long enough to know what the game is supposed to achieve and what LRH’s intention was for staff.

    I guess eventually “source” will be solely DM and Int Events. Like Ray Bradbury’s Fahrenheit 451, the original issues will be destroyed so as not to distract from current Command Intention.

  16. One item that is urgently needed is a total of $7,858 in IAS donations done through LA F by Saturday night.It will result in 15 Birthday Game points!
    Whatever you can flow or get others to flow, please do so now or right away or immediately.

    I think they’re havin’ a LAF (laugh).

  17. Off the fence

    I’m sorry, but that’s not Scientology. I know, because I’ve been one for almost 40 years. But hurry, only $7,858 is needed urgently. No, of course you don’t have to learn how to audit, just give that money you were going to use on the N.E.D. course to the IAS. It’s urgent! Old Saint Hill size? What’s St. Hill? It’s the IAS who needs your support. By the way, it’s an ongoing thing, and it will never end, but hey, 4th dynamic’s more important than you, right? Dig deep. You can however by a package of altered books and courses if you wish. Besides, I don’t think we have any trained sups right now. But we have lots of trained IAS regges! So dig, dig!

  18. You have it wrong: Count the number of staff Old Saint Hill had, substract from that number all those original staff who in the meantime have been declared PTS Type III or SP or who died (undoubtedly because of overts committed) and you will get the number of staff which most orgs probably will match. So Old Saint Hill is an old target. Not done anymore. And no, this is not technical degrades … something else is degraded …

  19. This is called a “stat push.” I never heard that donations to the IAS was part of an org’s birthday game.

    Is this really what LRH wanted for his birthday?

  20. “One item that is urgently needed is a total of $7,858 in IAS donations done through LA F by Saturday night.It will result in 15 Birthday Game points!”

    WTF, Birthday Game points?
    Gee….

  21. Isn’t that telling people to go on a non-standard course schedule?

    15 points for getting IAS donos? Weren’t the points only for upstats in divisional Valuable Final Products? That hides the fact the churchs are even more downstat that previously calculated based on point standing?

    • Any course supervisor who whould agree to such a schedule is in violation of WIAC PL (which is a high crime PL) and would beclared SP (except that thwe SPs are now running the joint).

  22. Hapexamendios

    Birthday Game points for IAS donations. What a blatant perversion of LRH’s intent. And here I thought they couldn’t top extorting IAS donations from pre-OTs in order to get through the eligibility check. Disgusting. What’s next? Points for square feet of bathroom floors licked clean?

  23. A fundraising day where all staff and public devote an entire day to marathon fund raising.
    That is no auditors auditing, nobody in the academy training, no intro lectures
    all Dianetics and Scientology stopped, dead in the water, the Org one big boiler room taking credit cards over the phone, closing money deals with relatives and nieghbors, payday cash advances on your car, pawning anything of value.
    True ,happened this year 2012
    WDAH’s a long gone memory.

  24. HannibalTheFirst

    Yes, the LHR birtday con is everywhere. How could the Super Power Expansion Project miss out on it?

    “……This is a unique opportunity on the entire whole track where those that helped will be able to say that they helped to put Scientology’s cathedral there, the first one of its kind which will be remembered for all eternity. They are making history happen and they are making a HUGE difference which will always be remembered.

    LRH said that Super Power is how we’re going to Clear the planet, well, right now we’re making that happen and every contribution counts toward that goal. If you’ve ever had the desire, intention or purpose of becoming a Cornerstone Club Member or moving up to your next status, please help us now and make that gift to LRH for his 101st birthday celebration as it is only is only a week away! Or, if that is not possible but it is still your desire, goal, intention or purpose to contribute and help bring about the release of Super Power, and change the planet through the establishment of Flag’s new technical delivery building, then please do so at this time. Whether it is a gift of $10,000, $5,000, $1,000 or $500 please help us and make that gift now because it does create an effect and will bring about change for the better. This is the make or break point and I want you to be part of it.

    Below is the article, “What is Super Power?” and a few success stories for you to read. Please enjoy them.

    Much Love,

    Bruce Roger
    VIP Representative
    Super Power Expansion Project”

    Really? More money for a project that is not only decades delayed but also overfunded many times over?

    They really do not know any shame.

    • Bruce Roger … as in Mr. Charmaine Roger?

      • Reading these emails sent out from staff, it is telling of how mislead and uninformed they are. What hits us as a glaring outpoint is viewed as a normal operating basis for them. These folks are a good lot of people, probably the biggest hearted people you are going to find. It just goes to show that good heart, and good intentions, can be turned into an overt product by a madman. Most of them have been off the bridge since they entered the Sea Org. I am thinking most of them are recent (last 20 years) and have never seen an ideal scene. And they have become part of a third dynamic engram by NOT KNOWING and NOT LOOKING. This causes a stupidity type of social intercourse where they come off looking stupid. In fact, what is under that, is the stupid choice to trust one man. But I trusted him also at one point (until I came face to face with him). When you prop him into an intelligent subject, it would seem since he is placed there, he belongs. I see the existing staff in the outer orgs away from Int as innocent bystanders. It is not too bright to want to be an innocent bystander, but it’s not the worst thing to be either. I think it would be bright of us, not to focus on individuals that are innocent bystanders as enemies. If they think of themselves as targets along with DM, they will share in his defense. I myself, do not mean to attack a single person who is a staff member handicapped with illusion. Isn’t it for their benefit also we effort to handle this criminal at the top? We KNOW. This guy does not KNOW. We are, because of Marty and the help many others, auditing out a third dynamic engram. This guy is still in the engram. Being honestly and sincerely on higher ground is a power.

        • TO, I agree with you 100% on the points you make here. Especially:

          “These folks are a good lot of people, probably the biggest hearted people you are going to find. It just goes to show that good heart, and good intentions, can be turned into an overt product by a madman.”

          What a great statement of truth.

          Very important that this be kept in mind. So much better to bring people of goodwill to understanding & help change their minds rather than invalidate & make them wrong.

          Also would be curious to hear about your “face to face” with Miscavige – maybe you’ve already told the story here & I just missed it –

          • Sure! He came to the base for an “Inspection”. He had a crowd, an entourage around him and he stamped everywhere making the floors above the Cabanas shake. Some of the other Int Execs were with him. Everyone about me seemed to be in terror. One of the Int Execs had just terrorized an elderly woman on the Freewinds, the Dissem Sec, Julie. He threw a temper tantrum on her over some incident from several years back before, when he saw her. That news had already traveled back.
            They seemed to move all around me during this “inspection” . I was pretty curious. We were r factored by CMO to handle them all with fair roads and good weather before they arrived. That came from Jenny Linson I guess. But it was passed along to me by another staff member. Steve Grant. We were not to say anything except how beautiful it all was and how happy we were. We were to continue working and pretend they were not around. We were not to approach them. We were not to look at them. WTHell I thought. Someone very senior at an F.S.O. H.G.C. mentioned to get ready for a stat crash as the Int Execs were coming.

            A few days earlier, some old timer had been explaining Sea Org bars and medals to me as there was some form a person was supposed to fill out every so often to get a stripe on their uniform or whatever. It was that form time and I had been given one to fill out so I been asking about these things. After the first day they were there the gossip floating was a form of hysteria. DM had asked who a bunch of people were that were on the walkway. Upon being told they were F.S.M.’s, he ordered them all off the base! I guess he didn’t like the way they looked? I can’t remember who the Int Exec was with the baldy head, but he took a curious interest in me, and took to watching me sideways through some kind of book stand at my desk. Me and my cohorts took this as a possible danger and late one night, removed all the vintage wine we kept stored under my desk (for Friday nights).

            At this time though, my attention was on getting this form filled out that I was supposed to do, in order to be rewarded a stripe for my shirt. I had been in the Sea Org for a few years and had not paid any attention to people’s uniforms or stripes and did not know what they meant or if they meant anything to me. I had a senior. I just knew that person was my senior. I just did my job. But this whole theater of stripes and medals and little whips or swords or whatever was new to me and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to get involved with it. But I was trying to understand it all.
            Then, I heard the stomping. Down the ramp they came, David Miscavige with a small army of little kids running behind him. He came into my office and stopped in front of me. I looked at him and the first thing I noticed, was all of the medals pinned to his white naval coat. He must have had 20 pounds of metal and ribbon on his coat. I just stared at the medals trying to figure out how he got his. I knew he took over the church when he was 21. There was nobody above him to award him all of those medals. I realized then, he had given them all to himself. “What did he do, go down to the uniform shop on Hollywood Blvd to get them? Did he send a mission down to buy them up? Where did they even come from?” This all hit me within minutes of him stopping in front of me. That there was something fraudulent about him. It was total theater.

            At that point, he turned without saying a word and marched away with the entourage behind him.

            The next time I came to be in the same place with him, he would not look at me.

        • Li'll bit of stuff

          TO, your sense of justice, balanced with an unmatched
          sense of caring, is a breath of fresh air, in the scramble
          for many who are all too ready to throw out “the baby
          with the (poisoned) bath water.” It seems memory is,
          unfortunately short, when it comes to appreciating that,
          one’s prevailing attitude, while still held in the blinkered
          mind controlled state within the church of Miscavology’
          means that you have been separated from your OWN
          independent viewpoint, (by design!) The points, you have made in this post, are readily
          appreciated by all persons of goodwill, and may also
          be compared to that ancient adage. ” …there, but for
          the grace of God, go I. ………”

  25. Random Stranger

    CHURCH OF SCIENTOLOGY INTERNATIONAL
    RTC DIVISION

    THE NEW BIRTHDAY GAME

    Bringing the Birthday Game up-to-date, we’ve changed a few things to take advantage of the spectacular rise in the statistic of THINGS THAT PROPEL US INTO THE MEDIA SPOTLIGHT, THUS BRINGING SCIENTOLOGY TO THE ATTENTION OF HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE:

    PHYSICAL VIOLENCE: A recent survey and extensive data analysis has revealed that physical violence gets more attention among the general public than anything else, particularly with the added dichotomy of a church being involved. Without the recent media onslaught accusing the church of violence, literally hundreds of millions of people would not have been exposed to Scientology. Although none of the recent reports in the media are true, after much persuasion I have decided to cast my reluctance aside and embark upon a campaign of physical violence. It is simply a matter of the Greatest Good for the Greatest Number of Dynamics. I would be remiss to do otherwise. This campaign shall be incorporated into the New Birthday Game with this sub-campaign being called, The Golden Age of Violence.

    PARISHIONER STRESS AND DOUBT: Our data analysis revealed that physical violence and mayhem combined with financial stress and doubt act in an alchemic manner to increase the attention we get from the general public. Again, Greatest Good. This campaign is hereby now known as, The Golden Age of Stress.

    LAWSUITS: It was plainly revealed in our data analysis that the process of alchemy created in the first two components above was greatly enhanced and accelerated if there was a lawsuit or legal action involved. A ‘Judge Judy’ influence was found to be an attention-grabbing socialogical phenomena that should add millions to the number of people exposed to Scientology. Greatest Good. The name of this sub-campaign is, The Golden Age of Courts.

    SPYING: Anything James Bond-ish is a gold mine for media and general public attention-sucking, again particularly due to the diametrically opposed expectations of a church being involved. Greatest Good. Golden Age of Spies.

    Therefore, the following products, accompanied by their corresponding statistics, are now part of the daily products expected of all staff members AND parishioners:

    PRODUCT: A WELL-PUNCHED HEAD
    STATISTIC: # OF WELL-PUNCHED HEADS
    BIRTHDAY GAME POINTS: 15 points

    PRODUCT: STOMACH SUCKER PUNCHES
    STATISTIC: # OF SUCKERS PUNCHED IN THE STOMACH
    BIRTHDAY GAME POINTS: 10 points

    PRODUCT: EAR TWISTS
    STATISTIC: # OF EARS TWISTED
    BIRTHDAY GAME POINTS: 2 points

    PRODUCT: PERFECTLY PLACED SPIT
    STATISTIC: # OF HEADS AIMED AT AND HIT WITH SPIT
    BIRTHDAY GAME POINTS: 7 points

    PRODUCT: A COWERING FETAL-POSITIONED PARISHIONER
    STATISTIC: # OF PARISHIONERS MADE TO COWER IN A FETAL POSITION ON THE FLOOR
    BIRTHDAY GAME POINTS: 50 points

    PRODUCT: PAIN FROM A WELL-YANKED NECK
    STATISTIC: # OF NECKS YANKED RESULTING IN PERSON IN PAIN
    BIRTHDAY GAME POINTS: 10 points

    PRODUCT: A WELL-PLACED INSULT
    STATISTICS: # OF BEINGS INSULTED
    BIRTHDAY GAME POINTS: 1 point

    PRODUCT: A HUMILIATED AND NUMBED PERSON
    STATISTIC: # OF PEOPLE NUMBED FROM HUMILIATION
    BIRTHDAY GAME POINTS: 20 points

    PRODUCT: A PARISHIONER STRESSFULLY BURDENED WITH MAXIMUM DEBT
    STATISTIC: # OF PARISHIONERS WITH NO MORE ACCESS TO ANY MONEY
    BIRTHDAY GAME POINTS: 50 points

    PRODUCT: A PARISHIONER WHO COMPLAINS TO THE MEDIA
    STATISTIC: # OF PARISHIONERS WHO GET AIR COVERAGE ON A NATIONAL OR GLOBAL MEDIA OUTLET.
    BIRTHDAY GAME POINTS: 75 points

    PRODUCT: A SWIFTLY PLACED HARASSING LAWSUIT
    STATISTIC: # OF SWIFTLY PLACED LAWSUITS THAT HARASS
    BIRTHDAY GAME POINTS: 50 points

    PRODUCT: A THOROUGHLY SPIED-UPON PERSON OR BUSINESS
    STATISTIC: # OF PEOPLE BEING SPIED-UPON
    BIRTHDAY GAME POINTS: 15 points per person, cumulative

    PRODUCT: A DISRUPTED LIFE
    STATISTIC: # OF ELEMENTS OF A PERSON’S LIFE DISRUPTED
    BIRTHDAY GAME POINTS: a) Disconnected family = 25 points b) Fired from job = 20 points c) Get Them Arrested = 30 points

    The New Birthday Game is designed to allow everyone to work shoulder to shoulder in a competitive way to achieve our aims, so let’s all play it TO WIN! FOR BLOOD! FOR THE DURATION! FOR ALL BEINGS IN ALL UNIVERSES THROUGHOUT ALL TIMES!

    THE GOLDEN AGE OF MEDIA ATTENTION is now underway, propelled by the power of this New Birthday Game, and is about to skyrocket our dissemination of Scientology through the stratosphere, thus bringing the possibility of hope and truth to the attention of the heretofore unenlightened population of Earth.

    MAY THE BEST ORG WIN!

    David Miscavige
    COB, RTC

  26. Buying birthday game points. I Love it. It’s kind of like buying those extra miles you need on your airline miles account to get that round-trip ticket to Europe. It’s just business! (Oh, except that you actually get the trip to Europe in the one case. You just get a trip out the door in the other case…)

  27. One of the first adjustments that is going to have to be made when the re-organization occurs is the total elimination of DM’s ‘private slush fund’ the IAS. All the monies donated should be given back, if possible, or at least a large portion thereof.

    • Like the Madoff victims.

      • Those billions $ of your donations have been squirrelled away (pun intended) I’d be surprised if you ever saw more than say 20%. Still you can always hope.

    • If there WAS a removal of Davey and a reorganization, I would gladly opt for donating all the money I ever gave to the IAS to fund the reorganization instead of a refund. Fat chance though.

      Have you guys seen the movie Ransom with Mel Gibson? The story is that his son is kidnapped and he moves from effect to cause by refusing to pay the ransom and instead offering the same amount to whoever turns in the kidnapper.

      Woldn’t it be great if a challenge could be set up that offered two $1 million rewards, paid form the IAS’s seized accounts to the first person who
      (1) comes up with irrefutable evidence that Davey kidnapped the church and is unfit to hold his position based on LRH policy that leads to his removal, and the first person who
      (2) provides irrefutable evidence that the IAS is an off-policy scam that leads to the IAS being disbanded and the funds (minus the $2 million reward) returned to the defrauded victims?

      There must be a way… thinking…

      • The problem is gaining control of the cash. Miscavige undoubtedly has arranged that cash is assets are only accessible via him; he might have a proxy like Moxon, in fact he probably has several but while on paper he’s “merely” CoB of RTC he holds the reigns.

        He probably hasn’t considered an escape plan in case it goes pair shaped but I expect he has several countries in mind. He probably also hasn’t considered what happen should he die either. Could be wrong; it would be interesting to know if anyone is positioned to take up the reigns. Who would Miscavige choose, if anyone?

        One thing for sure I doubt any of you will have any legal claim unless you have a law suit or judgement against Co$.

        • That’s the beauty of it – it is nearly impossible, so why not do it🙂

          I am not a lawyer but based on the bylaws of the different entities that comprise the corporations, Davey should have been removed from his post long ago by those senior to him – problem is he has total control of them by illegal means which is the exact problem those bylaws were supposed to prevent – what was not taken into consideration is a decades long ploy to remove every person from any position of power where they would be able to enforce those bylaws. There should be a way in that legal structure to remove him based on the fact of his total incompetence, criminality, and destroying the very values he was supposed to protect. He is a complete failure. The problem is, the people who have the right to act are either asleep at the wheel, paid handsomely to shut up and pretend everything is fine and dandy or imprisoned by Davey.

          If the bylaws of a corporation state that certain violations constitute a reason for removal of a board member, or the revokation of the license given to that entity, there must be a way to enforce that. RTCs licenses should have long ago been taken away per the conditions of the very agreements granting those licenses to RTC.

          • Interesting thoughts, it would be intesting the see the by laws of the various organisations. I wonder if they’re public record…

            That said there are also hidden corporations, usually in tax havens. Seem to recall Daviot Industries being one.

            It’s possible you might depose David Miscavige get the key to the vault only to find it empty. Still no harm in trying.🙂

            • “Interesting thoughts, it would be intesting the see the by laws of the various organisations. I wonder if they’re public record…”
              I’d say: you’re getting warm ….

              Apparently, CST – Church of Spiritual Technology – was incorporated on 28 May 1982. The articles of incorporation were filed with the California Secretary of State – and are a matter of public record. The entity no. is C1074287. They are interesting reading indeed.

              Corporation Bylaws are not required to be filed with the California Secretary of State – and the Secretary of State’s website says that requests for these should be directed to the entity itself. And therein may lie the problem (See below)

              Something purporting to be the Bylaws – supposedly executed on 7 June 1982 – was (anonymously) posted to the internet around 1999. It’s possible that these Bylaws were part of a court case or two … and may have come into the public domain as a consequence of that. Maybe not. Dunno.

              If what was posted to the internet is to be believed, the problem lies in Article Five of the Bylaws, “Members”, where the following is stated:

              “Section 1. Classification. The corporation shall have no members. It shall instead have parishioners who shall not be entitled to vote.”

              Hmmmm …. dunno …. but on it’s face, having something that is called a “church” (but may not be) which doesn’t have any members seems …. kind of out of the ordinary ….

              I’m not a lawyer, but perhaps the fact that there are no members (only parishioners who shall not be entitled to vote) affects the ability for someone to have legal standing ….

              This is backed up by the Articles of Incorporation themselves (which are a public record), which state under Article Six:

              “This corporation shall have no members.”

              Fascinating Stuff.

  28. Ahh yes. So glad Daniel & Diane Leriche are doing well on their life improvement courses. How’s that working out for you Daniel? Last time I saw you we had put you up at our place at no charge in Clearwater as you were barely scraping together enough money to get through your six month check on your end of endless OT VII at Flag. LAF public are you? That’s nice.
    You should try the Personal Values and Integrity course next because when you found out my ex-husband and I were having marital problems you quickly moved out of our house and refused to have anything more to do with us because you didn’t want it to ‘interfere with your auditing at Flag’.
    I’d write a personal comm to you but it seems you were in a BIG hurry to disconnect from your old door to door recovery twin, parter, best friend… and all that crap…
    Did I say I wasn’t going to name names in my last post on this blog? My bad – seems I’m running out of patience with people who call themselves OTs and behave like scum-sucking pond scum.

    • Your humble servant

      Sam,

      It is so wonderful to see you “sudden” and poetically “sudden” too! Thank you!

      • Thank you… and that reminds me
        A big hug and kiss to Sudden Sarge if he’s reading – the forerunner of ‘sudden’ who caused such merriment with his first explosion
        xxx ♥♥♥ Love you and miss your stories Sarge – wherever you be at

    • Sam.

      I knew Diane and Daniel in the 80 & 90’s, lost track of them some time after that.
      They were good eggs then. Sorry to hear that Daniel got sucked into the Miscavige mind-trap.

    • Sam-Name those names.

  29. I’d like to add my impression of the game years ago when the idea of the “Birthday Game” came into being. It was NOT LRH’s idea. Naturally in those days we weren’t celebrating G.E’s. and Birthdays to us were sort of pointless except in relation to how they affected our human friends. I’m talking the 50’s. Then some staff people who hadn’t had the type of orientation we had in the early days got the idea of celebrating Ron’s birthday. He was very gracious about it, accepting the good intentions, but finally he took that incoming (to him) effort and turned it around to be productive. So came about 3 times productions, that sort of thing. Thus the Birthday Game.

    • I saw this comment and that it has my name on top. I wondered if I’d forgotten that I wrote it. Did I write that? It’s been a very busy day and I might have forgotten what I wrote. Marty, if I get so befuddled and start forgetting my comments and start sending them twice or something, just ban me. But no, I didn’t write it. It appears we’ve got another “Pat” on board.
      To the new Pat, please put an initial or #2 or something after your name. Merci.

      • You have a different avatar or logo or whatever it’s called. I’ve noticed each time I post I get the same one.

  30. Davey’s version of LRH ED 339R:
    “Birthday games began long ago when someone said, “What would you like from management for your next birthday?”
    Now, you’ve all heard such questions. The normal answer is “A tie,” or maybe, “A chocolate cake.” Well, I surprised
    them. I said,
    A Dodge Tomahawk V10 Superbike, a case of Dalmore 62 scotch whisky, one Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren, the pent-house suite at 15 Central Park West, one box of assorted Visconti pens, the statue of Zeus of Olympia (to replace the old LRH bust in my office), a day fun day out playing director in my BFFs next movie, one box of edible thongs and two truckloads of copper wiring.

  31. First Principle

    OFF TOPIC with apologies…

    I’m liquidating my account at my local org before I come out in the open shortly.

    Question:
    Do you know if there are materials needed or wanted in the Indy field? E-meters, packs, lectures etc? I would like to use them as possible barter for training or auditing. The person I hope to be in session with someday doesn’t need materials but I figure it would be smart to line up a plan B.
    Thanks,
    ergo@hushmail.com

  32. Dizzy Mizz Lizzy

    This site is just hilarious. You guys are the funniest people and I have been laughing for an hour now. American humor is something else. Keep up the good work!

  33. Back in the days before the B’day Game we all, staff and some public would chip in and buy a pair of hand made boots or something unique that only a man like LRH would appreciate.
    LRH already understood that we were fighting for blood to clear the planet evidenced by our enormous internships and over crowded academies. We were creating well trained auditors left right and center.

    • there was no birthday game when st hill boomed.

      I hate this game to tell yah the truth. It is just one big stat push and promotes and creates corruption. It’s the same as with public stock market companies. They got to meet the numbers otherwise the stock price will go down, hence the CEO’s get disparate and start fudging the numbers. Same as with the COS. And it turns all staff into stat pushers one way or the other.

      • Captain Bob, in the late ’80s and early ’90s we actually played the BDay game for real and had a whole lot of fun with it. Our mission won in lots of categories – for real. We competed with other great missions in EUS.
        But, that was before Int level poison made its way through the veins of our OT executives…

        • I understand. I played it as well and it was fun. But guess what, when you are losing, it ain’t so fun. The undue pressure is corruption to get the stats up. So, is this a game where everybody wins?

    • That is right. That is when we were fighting for blood to CLEAR THE PLANET.

  34. WTF?!!

    Still trying to figure how the $7,858 needed could result in 15 more BD game points. The actual stat in relation to this would be # of memberships sold and even that is NOT a GDS tallied for BD game points. But…I forget, it makes total sense, if you are the C of $.

    Life Improvement “Club”? LOL! Yet one more way to beef up & falsify the stats while by-passing, cross-ordering and ripping off energy, attention & resources from other staff or areas of an org. Members of this club can now “org hop” on these courses. Cool! Just more places to leave unfinished cycles for the traveler that doesn’t F/N upon completion before he goes back home or enforce MU’s. Of course it also make it possible for one to get cornered buy even MORE reges at even MORE orgs in an attempt to sell them yet one more set of Basics “for the greatest good”, of course.

    These courses probably cost $40.00 (just guessing). At least they ARE affordable by those who’ve given their life savings to pay for big fancy empty buildings..at least they can sit in class and somehow reap the benefits. This type of course has been around for several years now. They are less expensive that a normal Div 6 course. An experienced Scientologist can fly right through them in a couple of hours. They were based on chapters of the Scientology Handbook. They were $25.00 for the course and booklet a few years ago. Not sure about the specifics now.

    An Org and CO/ED’s stat and VFP of Paid Completions for BD game points has been actively suppressed for years now while an ED or CO is strategically thrown off track to fry other fish before the Big events. I’m sure the heat on doing such nonsense is much more intense than ever.

    Just as it sucks to be Miscabbage, it also sucks to be an ED or CO. If you look close at EDs & COs in those event videos you’d notice they look gaunt & totally beat down w/adrenals fried long ago. Plus they have all have this same confused look in the eye that seems to ask. “Where the hell is ED Int? ”

    It goes down like this:

    Through the command line via telex, etc, dear leader injects a shot of chaos and venom into one end of the org via the ED or CO stopping everything and everyone dead in the tracks regarding making auditors and getting grade chart actions done while simultaneously ordering same apathetic & bypassed ED or CO to come down hard on not only Public Divisions but the entire org on a TOP PRIORITY basis to get those “quickied” 2-3 hour mini or Basic Book courses promoted, sold and course rooms filled…. or else.

    The focus here is NOT on getting weekly NEW PUBLIC because that would take entirely too long–not to mention create some sort of stability. The event is only days away and we now must RUSH to create an apparency of a big booming org to justify spending billions of dollars on a building and get course rooms full and on video to be shown at the big event. .

    Let’s don’t forget these courses are mandatory for staff too. You mean all staff have not done them yet?? WHAT??? The event is only one week away & all staff will now be required to get through all 18 LIfe Improvement courses BEFORE Event day (or no staff pay), confirm at least 90 people for the event, take personal responsibility for getting 10 people in and started onto said courses before the event, get event patter and drills for con-artistry skills scheduled & done at least 5 times before the event, keep normal post stats up and once the event video is received in the org, it must be watched 3 times (by all staff) prior to Event day, no fail! Send pics of compliance Note: Watching the event 3 x AFTER the event (which is another mandatory target on another program) will not count for this target to be considered done. It must be BEFORE!

    The orders then include all staff to call-in all Scientologists for these quickie courses (no matter where they are on the Bridge or other courses) and especially those who do not work during the day as they are HOT prospects and can finish 3 or 4 in one day!

    AM Product Conference: (naming prospects)
    “Shoot. I’m’ betting even though she’s in the No Interference Zone we can still get her in Thursday morning, started & gotten through the Integrity course with an O/W write-up done (we won’t make her attest..cuz that’d be interfering), gotten fully retreaded on TRS by noon (if she skips lunch), and finished off by getting her through the Basics of Suppression course and disconnected from her entire family by 2:00. Let’s do it. We rock!”

    Product Conference Friday morning:
    ” Ehh..who cares if she’s spun in or having body problems. Its probably PMS. Stupid slit. She DID however, make the stats, org, course room and DM look really good for the upcoming event video! That was a good right?? We have to give her that, at least. She’s actually a real trooper even with all those body problems & that dramatic seizure thing she pulled on the front steps last night. Wtf was that all about? Soo disgusting. Oh well ..let’s be sure and get her a commendation written up. Be sure to send a copy to her Ethics file, That’ll be great..oh wait!!. We did get her signed up & routed onto the “new and revised” Objectives yet?? No?!!? OK. What moron let her get out of the building yesterday without doing that? What are we running here ? A spa? Nobody knows, who let her slip out..of course! . Ok you ..LRH Comm, that’s your job, isn’t it? Well it is now. Besides I heard that you know somebody who knows somebody who knows somebody else who knows exactly where she works. So find out. Then go sit in the parking lot where she works, wait till she goes to lunch. Bring her back. Don’t be late for muster.Name, want, get. Chop chop. It’s almost noon now.

    In order to accomplish the above we have to take our original intention and purpose of C-A-R-I-N-G about people enough to get them though the stops or barriers in order to get the services that will rehabilitate them and turn it completely around to where it communicates and and sounds like this:
    Reg Cycle for Mini Course.
    “Who gives a Sh..t about your next grade chart action, seriously.The grade chart ain’t goin’ nowhere. Stop whining–just go with me on this..wouldja ?? Look, this is COMMAND intention. COB says so..not me. Besides, Tom Cruise would be proud of you (followed by big teethy grin). Between you and me, because I’m your friend..your OT Elig could possibly, I mean …..just possibly on the line. Just sayin..well..that you’ll have to prove you’re actively involved around here. So just sit down in that chair and do the course. Look at it this way, someday if the church decides that having children is a pro-survival action then I’m sure that this little course on Parenting that you’ll have behind you (after today) will come in handy for you K?? I knew I could count on you. Gimmme hugs! Oh.Ooopsie, I forgot. Gold will be here on Tuesday during your course time, so make sure you’re on course, tell everyone else too! Puleeeeeeeeze dress nice on Tuesday and .I’ve been meaning to tell you..uhm that cardigan you’re wearing ..well, it’s just a little worn out. What? Yes. I know it gets chilly in the course room with no electricity or heat. Just see if you can dig up something else. BLUE!! That’s it. You look guuuu-rate in blue, it makes your eye color really POP..K??? Love you. Mean it… Go get em’ ghurrrrrrrrl. See you on the video!! Have fun in da “club”!!

    Barf..

    • Sounds like she’s 15 points away from the 500 points needed to get the nodding head David Miscavige dash board doll.

      “This finely crafted piece of moulded plasitic is of David Miscavige behind his podium in his classic “upstat” pose. It will look great on the dash of of any car with its little bobbing head filling the car with theta. Makes an excellent gift item for any occassion so why not stock up on them while you can. 500 Birthday points (buy 5 get 2 more free!)”

    • No more barfing on the blog. Jim’s cat can only take so much.

    • “These courses probably cost $40.00 (just guessing). At least they ARE affordable by those who’ve given their life savings to pay for big fancy empty buildings..at least they can sit in class and somehow reap the benefits.”

      Very true. But if you get local scientologists on these courses, all of them, where is that for viability of the org. It’s nothing. It’s all a stat push to show stats going up. But of course they are not the auditing or processing stats so they don’t matter in that sense, but at events it is YAHOO- STATS ARE UP.

      Maybe if at the events, the COB showed the viability of the orgs and mission stats. Now that would be truthful.

    • FFT: Hahaha..that is too funny, but sadly true enough!

  35. In auditing out this third dynamic engram, and others as I recently finished L12. I just want to point out something to everybody here that has unraveled for me as a truth. When the group goal / purpose was the “Clear the planet.” All was well. People were very happy. The Orgs were booming.
    When this was switched to “Get Ethics In On the Planet”, there was a shift.
    The Sea Org Org people became cops with purposes to stop.

    I don’t know if it was such a good idea to introduce such change, into a scene that was already doing well. As, “Get ethics is” is a STOP purpose.
    You want to STOP out ethics. Clear people is GO purpose. You want to Clear people.

    For me, this was a major change that has had long terms ripples through this activity.

    Even us now, we are working to get ethics in, on the group that was supposed to get ethics in. And now, we must do this in order to keep clearing people! Because the people who are supposed to be “Getting ethics in on the planet” are a barrier to clearing!

    I hope at some point up the way, the purpose to clear the Earth will be restored as a common goal. But we will never see that opportunity unless we remove this virus at the top who is strangling each and every one of us
    with his whimsical moods and ideas, which have become the current policy.

    • If David Miscavige would have been charged with clearing people, he would have been churned out of the organization long ago as a stop.

      • This is the main divide between Marty and David Miscavige. Marty can help people. Marty is an accomplished auditor. Marty can fix people.
        If our purpose was to clear people, who would be acknowledged as the most valuable Scientologist? The P.C. or the person that cleared him or got him up the bridge and got his case handled? Who gets saluted? The general and the P.C.! What are they thinking?

        • The thing is, if you look at the araweness chart, CONDITIONS is at CLEAR. You have to get a person up to clear before they are even aware of conditions. Who can use ethics if they have no awareness of conditions? Most of the staff in the Sea Org are not even clears! So CLEARING would have to come before getting in ethics. And if it is no longer the purpose of the Church (actually, set aside all illusion, the Church, is SEA ORG) to clear people, I hope it will become our purpose as independents.

        • The basic difference: Marty can confront people. Miscavige can’t.

  36. You have nailed it. It really is this phony and disgusting.

  37. OTVIIIisGrrr8!

    We in RTC treat the Birthday Game as a deadly serious activity that supports our 1,923,678 Ideal Orgs scattered over the 15,901 countries of this planet.

    Our expansion is greater than ever. By actual survey we have found that when one defrocked bitter apostate leaves the Church we gain 273,000 new members.

    If we in RTC can chase off or declare the 25,000 bitter apostates in the Church who are pretending to be Scientologists we will gain 6.85 billion new members, which is to say the global population less our current membership. COB’s plan to offload the current Church membership is working beautifully. Called Operation EXTORT, the plan has six components:

    E = Enturbulate all Church members 100% of the time
    X = X-Ray their wallets and bank accounts for any remaining money
    T = Take their remaining money
    O = Only offer overt products as our form of exchange
    R = React to all out PR situations by denying everything
    T = Take time to spy on our enemies both real and perceived

    Operation EXTORT is working beautifully. Over 58% of the OT’s have left, are leaving, or have turned in their materials. The only risk we in RTC face is that these people have hidden money somewhere and thus have overts on COB. We need all of their remaining money before they leave the Church. Accordingly, COB has ordered that no OT may leave the Church until and unless they are bankrupt. Once they are bankrupt we in RTC will declare them SP’s as bankrupt OT’s are bad PR.

  38. The Indie field has way better stats and REAL stats-We are making LRH happy this birthday.

  39. Truth is treason, in an empire of lies. Ron Paul

  40. Pass the Scotch

    Regarding falsified LRH Birthday Game stats, Miscavige is only following in the footsteps of his heroes.

    From the George Orwell classic “1984” :

    “Comrades!” cried an eager youthful voice. “Attention, comrades! We have glorious news for you. We have won the battle for production! Returns now completed of the output of all classes of consumption goods show that the standard of living has risen by no less than twenty per cent over the past year. All over Oceania this morning there were irrepressible spontaneous demonstrations when workers marched out of factories and offices and paraded through the streets with banners voicing their gratitude to Big Brother for the new, happy life which his wise leadership has bestowed upon us. Here are some of the completed figures. Foodstuffs…”

    The phrase “our new, happy life” recurred several times. It had been a favorite of late with the Ministry of Plenty. Parsons, his attention caught by the trumpet call, sat listening with a sort of gaping solemnity, a sort of edified boredom. He could not follow the figures, but he was aware that they were in some way a cause for satisfaction.

    …For the moment he had shut his ears to the remoter noises and was listening to the stuff that streamed out of the tele-screen. It appeared that there had even been demonstrations to thank Big Brother for raising the chocolate ration to twenty grams a week. And only yesterday, he reflected, it had been announced that the ration was to be REDUCED to twenty grams a week. Was it possible that they could swallow that, after only twenty-four hours? Yes, they swallowed it. Parsons swallowed it easily, with the stupidity of an animal. The eyeless creature at the other table swallowed it fanatically, passionately, with a furious desire to track down, denounce, and vaporize anyone who should suggest that last week the ration had been thirty grams. Syme, too–in some more complex way, involving doublethink– Syme swallowed it. Was he, then, ALONE in the possession of a memory?”

    All you have to do is substitute “COB”, “RTC”, “org stats”, “write up”, and “get declared as an SP”, and the picture is complete.

    Karl Riehl
    (aka “Pass the Scotch”)

  41. mimsey borogrove

    Did you know they raised the money and got the 15 points? Yep – they sure did. Mimsey

  42. call me what you will

    Its amazing how no standard schedules are used to stat push.
    Orgs send so many staff to Flag to become Standard Tech Sups, then when these sups return they are then forced to allow non standard schedules by Execs who think the VFP’s are stats, and not what the Stats are measuring. Yes, first hand experience is where im coming from.
    And if you dare stand up to the Exec you are subjected to Exec C/S’ing, having it implied that you are SP for refusing to allow students on course who want to attend for an hour a week, coming and going as they please mid course period. I would love to have seen a student tell LRH that they are just coming on course for an hour so that the courseroom can claim the stat…

  43. Moving Forward

    Hmm, seems like I messed up and my last post didn’t submit; I’ll try again:

    Sickening as it is, it makes complete sense to me that IAS donations were added as a birthday game stat — and 15 points is a ton. Even the main stats of an org are worth only 3 as far as I recall. There were always some EDs who pushed back on the constant barrage of local IAS events because they were a huge distraction and diverted the public’s (and staff’s) income while getting them nothing. Making this part of the birthday game removes that problem.

    Why focus on VSD, PDC, WDAH, STC and FS — all of which require actual delivery — when you can get the same number of points just regging for the IAS?

    Also, I found it the Div 6 Life Improvement Course stat push tactic absolutely hilarious; the ED of LA Day was busted for doing such things back in the mid-90’s but now it seems to be a strategy.

  44. Hi, just anecdote on DIV 6 and the Basics.
    When “Basics” came out i found the Academy was emptied from auditors training and everyone was aloud to the Academy! i said no way! they all should go to Div 6! The Def of Academy was violated!!! Guess what i was out of this place (my goal was making auditors and clears made more then 20 clears in 2 1/2 years) I was trouble maker out of control hahaha.
    I’m proud i never gave up to crazy people.
    The code of honor is the ood!
    Dolly

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