Marilyn Brewer

THIS IS MY COMING OUT STORY

Marilyn Brewer

 

 I got into Scientology in summer of 1971 at the mission in Phoenix, AZ.  This was shortly after high school, did a little college in Tucson, AZ, and continued at the mission in Tucson, AZ where I received Standard Dianetics, objectives and ARC Straightwire.

I eventually ended up at the newly formed “CC Phoenix” under Doreen Casey, the ED and the org was a Sea Org org.  Joined the Sea Org and was sent to LA to train as a Flag Rep for Phoenix.  I was kept in LA and became the D/FR ASHO Day (under Val Mazzafari and Ingeborg Steinberg the FR WUS).

Then I was transferred to Sacramento org as FR Sacramento until went to Flag (RONY, Relay Office NY) where Flag management was while CW was being put together.  We were in Queens along with Jill Carlstrom, Alan Buchanan, Diana Hubbard, Roger Barnes, David Light, Grumps (Ron Gablehouse) and Liz Gablehouse, and George Cuthbertson (our famous cook).

I arrived by bus to Clearwater Nov ’75 just in time for Christmas. I was then the FR EU/UK, Org Manager EU/UK, Management Aide (all in the Flag Bureaux). I did lots of missions to EU/UK.

In 1977 I was on OEC/FEBC training Flag with Mike Rinder, Jens Bogvad, Hank Laarhus, Joyce Colt with Chuck Beatty supervising. In 1981 set up WISE, then off  to St. Hill to set up SMI Int.

Back to LA in 1982.  June ’82 my husband Ed Brewer was killed in a car accident in the hills of Glendale, CA.  (Certain amount of mystery around that still. Church management did not tell all on this. )

After Ed died, I went back to SMI Int in LA.  (was gone for the time period when de-dinging got its start in the mission network).  As a result of being gone and not getting “tainted” by the de-dinging, when I returned I was sent to the mission holders conference in San Francisco as the SMI rep.  The story of this infamous conference has been covered a thousand times.  It was a massacre and in my opinion the beginning of the end of Scientology as we knew it.

Back in LA I did an eval to “sort out the Bridge”.  Due to the success of that eval I got pulled to Int as D/ED Int for Establishment.  (Marilyn omitted here that LRH was impressed by her eval on the bridge sort out and it was a wildly effective eval). At the time there were 4 people in Exec Strata, (ED Int-Guillaume Leserve, Jens Urshkov-D/ED Int Production, Peter Specker-Qual Exec Int and myself).  It was my job to man it up and get everyone hatted.  So I began the process.  It took me over a year to get all the posts filled but I did it with lots of missions out around the world.

One of the last posts to be filled was a major post turnover cycle that started at the mission level, progressed to and through a Cl IV org, to AOSHEU and finally arriving at Flag.  This turned into a 6 month job to get Freddie Hunsicker, the last person to fill the last post, properly replaced.  As soon as he arrived ED Int got prompt orders from Vicki Aznaran to turn Freddie over to man up CST. Guillaume landed more bricks on me.  I screamed and yelled it was “off policy”.  His response was “If we didn’t do it, then Vicki would take Jens Urshkov (our only real evaluator at the time).  My heart was broken and I just thought there was no way to enforce policy.

Then along came DM (David Miscavige).  Every week we had to write up a “Weekly Report” for our area to be forwarded to seniors ultimately landing with DM for final summary to LRH.  We as Int Execs never got to see the outgoing summary, but always saw the incoming letter from LRH.  I concluded by the responses coming in that LRH was being lied to by DM.  I concluded that based on the fact that LRH’s response did not fit “the scene” at Int Mgmt.  With only a single viewpoint to operate from, the multiple viewpoint system was lost.  The odds were not too good.  That was all in 1984.

Finally left the Sea Org because David Miscaviage kept coming down to see ED Int and telling him of certain celebrities 2D peccadilloes after he read reports and worksheets of these celebrities.  This was gross.

By the beginning of 1985, I was gone to Canada to see Ed’s family. Now out of the SO  I stayed 2 years then came back to the states, ending up in Portland, OR with a large Scientology field.  I went back to med school, only this time for Chinese Medicine/ Acupuncture.  I just celebrated my 20th year reunion last year since graduating. I have been a practicing acupuncturist/Chinese herbalist and Dr. of Chinese Medicine for that period of time.

When landing in Portland I got back on lines at CC Ptld.  (Too much story to go into)  Mid 90s was ready for some L’s and took off to Flag for L11/12.  I was training as an auditor at Ptld when along came GAT.  I was at the end of the rope.  I slowly drifted away and moved back to Phoenix to be closer to family.

Closer to PT in 2009 I was diagnosed with breast cancer.  I became an Indie (in my mind, unofficially) but due to all the time devoted from me to fight this, I didn’t need any outside distractions.  So now my fight is nearly up and I have nothing to lose and wanted to officialize my Indie status.

Last year I found out that Tom Martiniano (who I hadn’t known before) and Linda McCarthy were in Phoenix.  I was so thrilled to meet up again, especially Linda because we were roomies back in the early days at the FH (Fort Harrison hotel, at Flag in Clearwater).  She has always been a good friend – but now she is a sister to me.  Tom is my fantastic auditor.  I don’t know if you can imagine someone with a heart so big to do all that was necessary on me to get me onto NOTs.  We had planned to do a 3-way round robin on NOTS, but it didn’t work out on my end….but no worries because Hayden James and Lucy have picked up the slack.

I’m telling you all of this now because in the RCS I would never have had the opportunity to receive this auditing.  As usual when you apply standard tech you get amazing results.  I would have awful pain and go into session only to come out with no pain.  After many months with Tom, it really is a miracle:  I have no pain.  My nurses and even my family can’t believe it. And while the cancer is not cured this lifetime, I’m 100% sure that I will never see the likes of breast cancer ever again.  Tom and Linda were there for me on more than one occasion to pull me out of some real rough situations.  Tom and I finished a few weeks ago and I’m spiritually in the best place I’ve ever been.  This current body has a lot of difficulty breathing and so it will be cast away for new shiny model.  I’m looking very forward to it and plan to be heading to Italy and wine country!  If you have any suggestions, let me know.

It’s been such an honor and pleasure to hear the stories of the ex-SO/RCSers; both Indies and non-Indies alike.  Old kindred spirits.  I thank you all in advance for the fabulous support and until the next time… Bon Voyage.

Marilyn Brewer

OT III

OEC/DSEC

Cl II

SO Mgmt 11 yrs

Special kiss to Alex Castillo, my buddy

156 responses to “Marilyn Brewer

  1. Marilyn. Go with peace. We love you.

    ML Tom and Linda

  2. Oh Marilyn, this leaves a huge lump in my throat. I’m so happy we were able to speak the other day – thanks to your wonderful husband contacting me.

    I’ve just checked and our mutual friend – dancer that she is/was – is still in Ireland until the 30th of May – with no cell phone connection, no email.

    I’m going to try again to reach her but perhaps before you head off to Italy, you could give her a chance to hug you once again. But know this – if Italy calls you sooner – she and I will find you so we can all go dancing again …

    I Love you Marilyn
    WH

  3. Tears….

    • Can’t stop crying after reading your message.
      I am sending large doses of affinity your way and wish you all the best on your future travels.
      Peace be with you — and may your new future with good food and wine be everything you are postulating for.
      Love you.

  4. I wish you the best!

  5. Marilyn,
    Just simply love you. You are one of the most beautiful beings I have had the honor to know.
    Linda

  6. I am in the presence of spiritual giants. God it’s wonderful. Thank you Marilyn. The rest of this incredible indie community, well, you’re pretty awesome yourselves.

  7. Now that is an exit: dignified and confidently going with self determined enthusiasm.

    We all look forward to your return, and what a return it will be!

    Thank you for sharing such a personal story. I think your courage is the most incredible thing I have ever encountered.

  8. MARILYN — OMG,

    Email me at once! rindermike@hushmail.com.

    I am so happy you have been in the good care of Tom and Linda and Haydn and Lucy. And that you are clearly in such good shape spiritually.

    All my love to you.

    • Mike,

      Lucy and I came late to this party. But we did have the pleasure, more than once, of sitting on Tom and Linda’s couch cracking jokes and swapping war stories with Marilyn. And if I had not known, I wouldn’t have believed that she had advanced cancer, such were her soaring spirits, a testament to her strength of character, Linda’s care and Tom’s fine auditing. And as you know, Marilyn is a character, a hark back to the days when the Sea Org was full of them.

      But I wanted to let you, Marty and everyone else on this blog know, that in addition to the unending support of her husband, her family, Linda’s friendship and Tom’s courageous auditing, Marilyn was also greatly appreciative of and buoyed by the fact that there is such a thing as Independent Scientology.

  9. Claudio Lugli

    Marylin me and Renata did not have the honor nor the pleasure to meet you, Italy waits for you with a big welcome whenever you will feel ready
    We live in the north part – Brescia, come by and we will recognize you.
    Your theta and your qualities cannot be mistaken

    Claudio & Renata

  10. Hello Marilyn. So nice to meet you here. What a story! What a life! Bravo!
    I don’t know anyone/anyplace particularly to suggest right now, but I’m sure between all of us here, we can help you find this!
    I will just share a little theta-data from another point of view – the Clear, Grad 5, staff member mother who wanted someone like you to be my newborn way back in 1993. I had a friend on OT7 at the time, be the registrar for me in this pursuit at Flag (since I couldn’t be there). It worked out GREAT and I have just been absolutely filled with joy to have her in my life. I’ve upheld/am upholding my end of the bargain as promised as well. Independent Scientology will/is keeping LRH tech alive for you too.
    Love,
    Tara

  11. Marilyn,

    It’s been years since I saw you. Am so glad you were able to get auditing from Tom, and that you are in great shape spiritually. Best of luck in your journey!

  12. Vaya con Dios, Marilyn. Thank you.

  13. I see that I exist in the light of giants like you, and it inspires me to achieve being more myself. A true honor, reading this. Thank you and Bon Voyage!! We love you!

  14. John Michael Finley

    A truly wonderful synopsis of your life as a Scientologist and your ring true of personal integrity. You are a breath of fresh air Marilyn and your reputation precedes you. I remember hearing of you in the early eighties during the Mission Holders disaster when I worked at SFO.
    You are truly one of the immortals who have made us all proud to be Scientologists.
    See you when you return, go in peace girl!

  15. Your humble servant

    Marilyn,

    Thank you for telling your story in this excellent report, and thank you for the years of service you gave to LRH and to his high goals.

  16. So great that you are in a good place spiritually.

    Now, italy. You absolutely have to visit Tuscany. Preferably for a few weeks, and tour around. I haven’t been to Sardinia, but know lots of people who LOVE it and go back year after year. Venice, didn’t really have a soul but was beautiful in an empty sort of way. Florence, out of season is definitely worth a visit.

    If you stop over in the UK, I can maybe help with logistics. Mike Rinder has my numbers.

    God speed.

  17. PersonalJudas

    Thank you for posting this, Marilyn. I must admit to having doubts about the spiritual validity of this subject as I extracted myself from the church and then, less easily, from it’s enforced think. You have restored so much of my original knowingness by writing this.

    Godspeed, Marilyn
    (From a fellow practitioner of Chinese Medicine.)

  18. Marilyn you are a beautiful being. Thank you for all that you are. With love. Until next time. Love Carol

  19. Namaste, to you my sister spiritual warrior. I send you my hearts love. Thank you for your service and may love and joy guide you on your journey forevermore!

  20. Congratulations Marilyn. Great job on setting yourself free and hooking up with people who want to see you do well.

    ps. DM is such a little perv. Yuk!

  21. Marilyn,

    I am sorry I never met you. Carry on and have a wonderful new life. Thank you for adding some nails to David Miscavige’s coffin.

  22. Jethro Bodine

    It’s good to hear that you’re in a good place spiritually and ready to pick up a new shiny body, of the Italian variety. It sounds like you’re operating from cause on this. Bon Voyage.

  23. Hello Marilyn!

    Thank you for telling your story.

    The Tuscany in Italy with its capital Florence (“Firenze” in Italian) – was also home of Leonardo da Vinci and Michelangelo – is a very lovely region. There are also some great Independents in Italy.

    I wish you a wonderful time there!

    Karola

  24. Hi Marilyn,
    Thank you for all you have done for Scientology over the years. I have just sent a special message to you via Haydn and Tom to you.

    Steve

  25. Marilyn, Happy Roads ahead for you; that’s so great that you are feeling so spiritually balanced. Thanks so much for posting your story, something I have never seen happen in the church. Thanks for all you have done.

  26. Marilyn, In addition to the special message I sent to you, I’m also adding your name to the “Indie 500″ — the official list of the first 500 Independent Scientologists.

  27. Dear Marilyn,

    Thank you for publishing this. It has been years since we last met, but theta is timeless.

    I’d like to give you this from Lao Tzu, one of the wisest beings I know. It is from his book “Tao Te Ching”.

    “She who is centered in the Tao can go where she wishes, without danger. She perceives the universal harmony, even amid great pain, because she has found peace in her heart.”

    No seed ever sees the flower and you have sown many full of compassion. By now they are flowering all over the world.

    Enjoy each moment and have a save journey filled with peace and happiness.

    Lots of love
    Klaus

  28. Hi Marilyn. You walked us down a few memory lanes and I am so glad you posted your story and let us know your in a strong position. My best wishes to you. If you see Ed still out there, point him in the right direction. And thank you for your service over the years. It defines the great value your life has held for others. So many have benefitted from actions you took. And they don’t even know your name. But we do. Smooth sailing and thanks.

  29. Li'll bit of stuff

    Marilyn, thank you for sharing so much, with us, here, today.
    Some of us have clear recollections of having gone down
    this journey, on many, many occasions before and therefore,
    we celebrate with you in the closing words of Kahlil Gibran
    ( “The Prophet” ) :
    ….” A while, a moment of rest upon the wind, and another
    woman shall bear me. ”
    …….do enjoy the rest, Marilyn. It will be a time to visit your
    friends and loved ones, free of the liabilities that tie one
    down to mest anchor points. (.You just postulate being with
    him / her / them, and you will be, you’ll see…) Till you’re ready for a nice “new shiny model”, we’ll hold the fort for you! okay ?
    …See you later, alligator.

    Much love from us all, Calvin B.Duffield

  30. Marilyn- Impressive resume, impressive state of being. I am thrilled to see you have a plan and are pan determined on this. Italy. What a great idea for a new start or a continuation of your journey.

    As to suggestions, I’d say GAYA if you’re a wine coinsure. The undisputed king of Barbaresco in Italy. As a member of the family maybe you could me get on their wine list. (joking) :>)

    Fair well.

    Tom- What a terrific thing you have done here. Auditors really are the most valuable beings.

  31. Marilyn, thank you for this wonderful message. What a class act you are! I’m smiling broadly, seeing you in Italy in wine country, making and enjoying your delicious wines. What a smart, cool woman you are. :)
    JM

  32. Namaste Marilyn!
    Chris Thompson
    Phoenix, AZ

  33. How wonderful is it that Marylin received the auditing she needed and wanted from a skilled auditor? And better still that she was surrounded by compassionate friends. Just because the body is ailing doesn’t mean the thetan is.

    You know at the Flag Landbase if you have terminal cancer you do not get NOTS or Grade Chart. You might might even be allowed on the Base. The whole vibe is: do assists at home, get medical treatment and come back (with money) when (and if ) you are well. Your “friends” might consider you a down stat because you are ill. And if you dare to grieve about your condition or leaving your dynamics you are told to “knock off that down-tone shit”. Gotta love that sort of ARC (not!).

    Tom thank you so much for doing what you did. Oh to exit this life well-audited and well-loved. Marylin, I don’t know you, but I know so many who walk in your shoes. God-speed on your journey and congratulations on a life well-lived.

    I have a dear friend, on OT VII for over 20 years (there’s an outpoint) who is newly diagnosed with breast cancer. She is waiting to learn her fate. I know she would dearly love to finish VII (she probably did in actual fact many years ago) and attest so that her life’s work could be validated. Not in the current C of S. Sadly is still on the kool-aid or I’d refer her straight to Tom (another old Detroiter I think).

  34. Marie-Joe DePhillips

    Thankl for sharing your story with us. You are a wonderful inspiration!

    To each his on wins but after OTI & OTII I felt a lot of changes in my current life. When I did OTIII it was really different, I didn’t feel any changes in my immediate life but I knew with certainty that this level had changed my etertiny.so I’m glad you had a chance to get to that Level.

    I’m very appreciative of your comm & of all the true friends that have surrended you. Bon Voyage!

    Marie-Joe

  35. Freedom Fighter

    I haven’t even read the whole thing yet, but I had to stop and comment. Boy, is this ever an ominous line: “… ultimately landing with DM for final summary to LRH.”!! Unfortunately, we all know what the end result of that has been.

  36. Very impressive Life History, Marilyn! Well done and welcome out!!! Hope to meet you in person one day.

  37. one of those who see

    Dearest Marilyn, Thank you for honoring us with your story. Sounds like you are in fine shape for your next adventure. Well done to you and your Auditor. Your peace, your courage are truly inspiring.

  38. Freedom Fighter

    Wow! Just finished reading this. WindHorse, your comment brought me to tears.

    Marilyn, thank you for taking the time to tell your story. I’m very glad you’re at a good place now and I wish you much theta on your next journey.

  39. I wish you all good, Marilyn.

  40. Tony Dephillips

    Great story and impressive credentials Marilyn!
    I wish you all the best!!

  41. Thank you, Marilyn, for being here and telling us your story. I wish you all the best on your new and exciting adventure. Italy sounds like a great choice :) I’m sure you will find many wonderful beings there to share it with.
    With love,
    Kristina

  42. Love to you Marilyn! I am sure you will come shining through the vicissitudes ahead, and will see the effects as you ‘up your game’.
    Yes, the Indies are a god-send. Always were, always will be.

    George Cuthbertson wound up in DC, along with his wife and children (who I am sure are all grown up now.) I don’t have their current contact info, but if I find it I will forward it on.

  43. Dear Marilyn, I wish you all the best !

  44. Marilyn, Thank you for sharing your story. My heart is touched. May your coming adventure exceed your wildest expectations. Your many contributions are appreciated. Much love, Yvonne

  45. Marilyn, May the red carpet always roll out for you. You are the pioneer of a new civilization and I send many blessings that you arrive in the better world you helped to create. Our homeland is in our hearts and we will keep a room open for you again in ours.

  46. Dearest ♥♥♥Marilyn,♥♥♥
    Thank you for all your this lifetime contributions.
    I remember you well and felt such a pang reading your heartfelt write up.
    Wonderful that Tom and Linda and Haydn and Lucy were there for you.
    Let me know if there is anything at all I can do to make you smile
    Karendelac@gmail.com
    ML Karen

  47. Marilyn,
    Thanks very much for sharing your story and for your service to mankind. It does take a lot to impress LRH and from that I know you did a good job. Unfortunately, I missed meeting you as during those years I was on project and roving mostly off the base, with only occasional visits. Thanks Tom and Linda for the help to a comrade in arms and superlative jobs done!

    Happy Trails to you!

  48. Marilyn,

    Where do I start. I met you when you came to LA to train for Phoenix. I only knew you in passing and not very close. I did know Ed quite well, and that is another story. I find myself both happy and sad. Happy that you are at a point of stability and continuing a journey I can as yet but think upon. Sad that I just found out you are part of my Indie family.

    Thank you for everything you did while in the SO. The 70′s and early 80′s were a universe apart from the present SO. The teamwork then was to help others by making auditors and Clearing. I always look back upon that time as an incredible participation in a movement – the type of experience that only occurs every few hundred years.

    I further want to thank you for all the help you have given as a Doctor of Oriental Medicine. The type of help wherein you assisted the livingness within and did not attempt an enforced change such as with allopathic medicine.

    We all live for a brief time with our current physical bodies. The real measure is how much actual livingness you completed during that time. As an OT we know ourselves as an immortal being. The stability of that beingness is what allows you to make determination and postulates to continue beyond time.

    You will enjoy Italy, Later you will love other areas. As one trained in acupuncture you will fully understand that energy is merely moved from a point of deficiency to a point of excess, and visa versa. You shall still be with us now, with your announcement, and at any time in the future. You have been and will continue to be part of our experience with, in and as the result of the concepts of Scientology.

    I view with happiness and awe that you were allowed to experience the third dynamic of Scientology as it existed in the 70′s. As a trained evaluator the value of a full understanding of the ideal scene is known. I only pity those who currently only have a view, in name only, of this subject.

    You are a wonderful being my friend. I know Tom and Linda and there input as to the type of person you are today gives me a good idea of the incredible being you are and have been.

    The following video is how I would want to be remembered and I believe you have followed along this same line. Watch and listen knowing my only intent is to validate all you have done. You have shown courage beyond words. I find myself with tears in my eyes – later my friend.

    • Marilyn,

      Peace be with you. In case my earlier wording was a bit much know how I feel about all who have been part of this journey of mine. I appreciate all who post but have special places in my heart for those from the same era and places as I experienced. Journey on and return when you wish.

  49. Hi Marilyn,
    Thank you for a wonderful write up and for being so sincere.
    Best of luck to you.

  50. Dearest Marilyn,

    Just got off the phone with that crazy Italian we both know … you worked on events with him and I was once married to him :)

    He mentioned that he did call you the other day and leave a message — hopefully you received it.

    God speed Marilyn. We won’t lose track of each other again.

    Love,
    WH

  51. Tory Christman

    Dearest <3<3Marilyn<3<3
    Thank you for sharing your amazing adventure with we here and those lurking, too. I love you checking out Italy! :) Death is not a "loss"…it's just a new transformation, imnsho. My view is we are like radios. IF ((IF)) one keeps their antennas UP—you can be in touch w/ anyone who has passed on. May your new adventure be filled with joy, light and greatness. :) Meantime..I'm very happy your loved ones are close, as well as all here.

  52. Tory Christman

    Doh! They’re supposed to be <3 Hearts. Dearest <3 Marilyn <3

  53. Dear Marilyn,

    Thanks so much for your story and for all you have done to make the world a better place. I never had the honor of meeting you but we will of course meet sometime down the road. Buon viaggio!

  54. Dear Marilyn,
    I remember you well from Portland in the early ’90s and always thought highly of you, though I was not aware of all your magnificent contributions from the earlier years. Though we only were briefly aquainted then I remember you clearly and I am touched by your writeup and inspired by your coming forward into the light before your deparature. All of us here have had that same forbidden cognition as you have had. It is a tremendous “R” between us. Continue to be strong through your ordeal and all will be good. We look forward to your return. I might have to brush up on my italian. Ce videamo dopo Marilyn.
    Jerry Brady

  55. We shall not cease from exploration
    And the end of all our exploring
    Will be to arrive where we started
    And know the place for the first time.”
    ― T.S. Eliot, Four Quartets

  56. Marilyn, what an amazing woman you are! With all that you have contributed, it is only just that you were able to receive the help from Tom and Linda and the many friends and family who have crossed your path.

    Italy sounds lovely, beautiful people, tons of ARC…what a great game you will be able to play! A new adventure, I’m sure it will be very exciting!

    Thank you for all that you did this time around. You are appreciated!

  57. Dear Marilyn
    Thank you for your beautiful write-up and all you have done.
    With tears of loss and admiration, I wish you all the best from the bottom
    of my heart.

  58. Michael Fairman

    Dear Marilyn
    I did not know you, but your theta flows around me like an old friend. Thank you for all you’ve done and all you will do.
    With love, Michael

  59. Marilyn,
    Bless you and your wonderful friends from here to eternity and back!!

  60. Marilyn, What an incredible contributions you have made! Thank you for sharing it with us all. It is wonderful to hear that you had Tom, Linda, Haydn and Lucy to assist you. I wish to you the very best in your travels. ML, Jan

  61. Marilyn,
    I am so happy to see that you have successfully officialized your Indie status while still being around to receive the love of this group.:)
    As a C/S I had hoped you could stay around longer but it what it is.
    You are bringing up names of friends of the pioneer times in the S.O. when there was still enough fun and being very much on purpose. It acted like a rehab.
    Your mention of ‘DM’s final summary to LRH’ really hit home, worth not just a few nails in his coffin but a solid lead plate! It clearly shows DM’s intentions…….
    Thank you for all of this and your contributions in this life time!!!
    Italy is indeed well chosen. If you can, watch the movie “UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN” before you go.
    Have a peaceful passage and until we see you again!
    Greta

  62. Sorry to hear of your mishaps and griefs, but congratulations on joining the Independents, and reestablishing your real purpose lines with people who share these freely.

  63. Marilyn, How incredibly moving for you to express your allegiance with and alignment to Independent Scientology as a last act of this life. I’m floored. What love and what depth. You are moving into the next life with integrity, honor, and everything important. This is a beautiful example you have set for everyone. That is just incredible. I know we will see you again soon.

  64. Marilyn,

    A blast from the past. My God.

    Good to hear from you and to see you here. Thanks for your story.

    (For those that don’t know, Marilyn and I shared many crazy times in the early 80′s at SMI and later in L.A. She is the kind of person who always remains true and herself, never drops her affinity, with her great sense of humor, despite the insanities that can come about while on those lines. We lived and worked at the stables at St. Hill, back when SMI was in it’s infancy. Ed Brewer was the original wild man. He’d go parachuting on weekends while in the S.O. just to work off the frustration of the week.)

    Best to you in your future adventures.. contact me any time. I’m living by the ocean in Hawaii. Come visit.

    Mark McKinstry

  65. Marilyn, your story is beautiful! What a beautiful life!
    You’ve done so much. And the future’s so bright, we’ve got to wear shades!
    You are my ideal of a Scientologist

    Thank you.

  66. Marilyn, what a fine road you’ve traveled. I know you could have written a book about your amazing journeys in the Sea Org, but as an old timer myself, I perceived much of that which you didn’t have the time or space to tell. Just let me say that I am thankful for the service you gave to all of us. It is very appreciated.

    Although we never crossed paths this lifetime, I know you to be one of those who is dedicated to LRH’s aims for spiritual freedom. You’re one of the old hands from the real Golden Age of Scientology, as are most of us here. I’m very happy that you took this moment to allow us all to acknowledge and welcome you, as you prepare for your next adventure.

    Enjoy your tour of Italy, and know that your friends will be here when you get back. We’ll keep the light on! :-)

  67. Marilyn,
    Thank you for all the wonderful things you’ve been and done in this lifetime. I personally have been able to be, do and experience what I have as a being due to what you describe above. I am very grateful to you for making that possible.

    I’m sure we’ll continue with our futures intertwined, seeing our postulates come to realization.

    Tom M. Nice job mate. thank you, sincerely.

  68. Daily report to David Miscavige

    From OODS May 22 1969:

    “I don’t think anybody fully understands the antipathy I have to authoritarian rule. ”

    “The campaign to force into a dictatorship a group which has freedom as its main objective is about as popular with me as a fire in a powder factory.”

    L.R.H.

  69. Tom Gallagher

    Dear Marilyn,

    Thank you so much for your comments, observations and understanding.

    You are a tribute to all that is good and right . I’ll add that you exude and embody the highest qualities of grace and dignity.

    You’re one class act.

    My best wishes, You’re in my prayers and thoughts

    With love,.

    Tom

  70. Marilyn,
    I commend you for your moving away from the suppression and coming forward with your story. Please have a look at these two videos, if time.
    http://www.forksoverknives.com/nutrition-facts-videos-research-on-diet-and-prostate-cancer-and-eating-healthy-on-a-budget/
    http://www.doctoroz.com/videos/cancer-fighters-your-kitchen
    Of course, what is true for your is true for you but you did say, “If you have any suggestions, let me know.!” so I am doing just that.
    At this exact juncture, I am currently on this diet and feeling and seeing improvements daily.

  71. Random Stranger

    “David Miscavige kept coming down to see ED Int and telling him of certain celebrities 2D peccadilloes after he read reports and worksheets of these celebrities”

    DM’S SECRET LIST OF CELEBRITY PECCADILLOES

    1) Tom Cruise dressed up like COB and had sex with his motorcycle

    2) John Travolta dressed up like a motorcycle and had sex with himself

    3) Kirstie Alley had sex with some food

    4) Tom Cruise had sex with Mimi Rogers and Nicole Kidman and now Katie Holmes

    5) Nancy Cartwright had sex with Bart Simpson

    6) Chick Corea had sex with a saxophone

    7) Jason Lee had sex with Jim Meskimen

    8) Lisa Marie had sex with Michael Jackson

    9) David Singer had sex with a skeleton

    10) Edgar Winter had sex with Jane Kember

    11) John Brodie had sex with a football

    12) Louis Farrakan had sex with Elija Mohammed

    13) Jenna Elfman had sex with an elf

    14) Tom Cruise had sex with DM’s skeet shooting rifle

    15) Jeff Pomerantz had sex with Dan Sherman

    16) Greta Van Sustern dresses up like Chaka Khan when she has sex

    17) Jeffrey Scott dresses up like Moe Howard and has sex with Karen Black who’s dressed like the Wicked Witch of the West

    18) Mario Fenninger had sex while eating cheeseburgers and playing the piano

    19) John Travolta had sex with his wife while they watched a Tom Cruise movie

    20) Tom had sex with his wife while watching the famous You Tube video of himself

    • “David Miscavige kept coming down to see ED Int and telling him of certain celebrities 2D peccadilloes after he read reports and worksheets of these celebrities”

      How immature of him. What an overgrown baby. Can you imagine Hubbard ever doing something like that? It’s like, he doesn’t get it. Running with P.C. folder data to E.D. Int like a little school girl gossiper. He is not a Scientologist in any meaning of the word.

      • Now that is an understatement!!!!! But than you for stating it.

      • Random Stranger

        Duh.

      • I don’t know why DM orders auditing reports and worksheets to be sent to him, he isn’t the C/S! Another form of discrimination and being violated without their knowledge. Totally 1.1 as in secretly video taping the auditing sessions. This info should be in affidavit if at all possible.

  72. Dear Marilyn,

    What a strong and vibrant being you are! Wishing you every good thing in your next big adventure!

    -Bonny Elliott

  73. Happy Trails Marilyn, We’ll keep the candle in the window.
    Mark Elliott

  74. Possa il vostro tempo in Italia, essere meraviglioso.
    Bella addio.
    May your time in Italy, be wonderful.
    Bella goodbye.

  75. Welcome Marilyn! So glad that you are doing well. It was great to see you a few years ago when we had a meeting of former Sea Org members in Las Vegas. That is such great news that you were able to get auditing in Phoenix from Tom and Linda and Haydn and Lucy. Continued good wishes to you!

  76. Marilyn,
    Thank you for sharing your story. Your dedication and contribution to Scientology is admirable. I wish you all the best and hope you have one hell of a good time in Italy – and then some.

  77. Dear Marilyn, It is an honor to get to know you on this blog. Thank you so much for your beautiful communication. Very happy to know that you are in great shape spiritually. Lucky those parents who would have you as their child. I am glad you picked Italy because your next adventure will be a peaceful one and with lots of fun. Lots of LOVE to you my dear!

  78. Marilyn,

    Thank you for that write-up synopsizing your fantastic adventures in Scientology and life.

    Tom and Linda and Haydn and Lucy are great beings who truly operate on the consideration that their greatest duty and pleasure in life is helping others.

    I would also like to offer help if you need it. My wife Karry is a licensed caregiver in Southern California. She also provides hospice care when needed.

    If you need a place, just shoot us a line at: neobliviscaris@hushmail.com and you can stay with us, gratis.


  79. Things are just things and easily missed or forgotten. You have touched many and “will be kept in their hearts for a while.”

  80. Marilyn's Family

    Marilyn wished it be said to all here that today was a good day. She was truly and genuinely touched by the out-pouring of love, well wishes and suggestions as to her next adventure. She says she will be following up on all the offers made. You can count on her showing up!

    On Marilyn’s wish list is make sure those of us who will carry the memories of her beautiful life, celebrate that life not with a dour memorial, but with a festive party replete with laughter, good food and remembrances of a life well lived.

    With love to everyone… Marilyn

  81. Path of Buddha

    Bless you, Marilyn.
    I shall do a special Pali chant for you next Friday evening
    so that the Devas will protect you.

    “Strive on heedfully” – The Buddha

    George M. White

  82. Dear Marilyn, we don’t know each other, but yet we do. Wherever you choose to Be will be the right place. Fly high in Peace and enjoy Life!

  83. Dear Marilin, you are so loved and admired! I wish you to keep that warm feeling of harmony and love with you wherever you choose to go. And in case you miss landing to Italy, you are invited to Russia too! :) If not afraid to face some challenging weather :)))
    Best,
    Tatiana

  84. It is so much joy for me, 8+ years on mission and org staff, prime years of my life, then 2yrs 7daysaweekcomandered supposedly as FSM. To hear your story, I wept this morning as I read it Marilyn before I got to work. If there was anything at all I could do I would. It seems you have this figured out. And you know what, I got it, And I got a lot more. I got we can go free, still. I got there are beings I’ve always wanted to know more of and didn’t… couldn’t, and beings that tell stories now beyond what I could ever know as the minion I was, as a staff member.

    I dono, perhaps it’s your early days, but your recollections and your contributions Marilyn, and the stories, I just love it. It’s amazing what is made clear from old hat’s on Marty’s site in the few months I’ve been.

  85. Marilyn, I missed the obvious pleasure of knowing you while you were at Int but I did know Ed and he was an amazing character. LRH wrote that Ed was a powerhouse and I must consider you a comparable terminal. Best of luck on your future journeys and adventures. You will be missed but the future will be better for us all knowing you are there preparing it for us.

  86. A long time ago i had cancer , i used scientology to find out how to handle it and succeeded. I used the ARC triangle , which corner was out , it turned out to the reality , food is the reality corner of the triangle , i researched and found out food was de-mineralised , because crops are forced to grow quickly with chemicals they don’t get a chance to absorb trace elements , and minerals . I corrected any nutritional definiencies the body could have through nutrition and the cancer went away .
    My theory was that the cells in the body were going down the tone scale because they were not getting the physical material they needed -,the materials being nutrients and trace elements .
    I am not giving medical advice here .

    • Li'll bit of stuff

      ealadha, this is very interesting to me, as it aligns with
      much of my own investigations and experience. Firstly,
      a huge congratulations in finding and applying your own
      reality and handling. This is a topic that is best discussed
      in a different unit of time, and certainly merits further
      sharing in detail. Secondly, there certainly are a wealth of
      modalities which have been used with similar effect, and
      unfortunately do not get the exposure needed.
      ML, Calvin

      • Anything that helps people is suppressed , why else would scientology have been altered but because it is usefull to people , there are many other technologies out in the world that work which are suppressed .

    • Richard Royce

      There is a free book on the internet called Lessons of the Miracle Doctors. http://www.jonbarron.org. It is a compilation of the wisdom of many of the doctors of the world that have consistent miracles in their practices.

      • I’m the first one to go for the organic/natural way; I believe Marilyn was
        I believe that Marilyn practiced a holistic approach to wellness as evidenced by her profession as an acupuncturist for 20 years.

        That said – I believe we must be careful when discussing modalities as it could have the potential of acting as a wrong indication for someone who is nearing the end of a life. Implying, not meanly, that something “else” should have been done.

        The buddhist approach to illness is a fourfold:

        1) Do nothing and the illness will pass — i.e. — common cold for example

        2) If it’s more serious — then use the medical/wellness modalities that one is comfortable with. For example, the Dalai Lama when he had gall bladder problems/gastric problems several years ago – had his gall bladder removed

        3) If the medical/alternative method doesn’t bring relief — then buddhist special prayers are used — for example Medicine Buddha chants and liturgies

        4) If that doesn’t “work” — then the person prepares himself/herself as best as possible for his imminent death (through prayers, saying good byes etc) … recognizing that we are NOT all the same — our life spans are different and we cannot all fit into the same box.

        IMHO Marilyn and her family have done these 4 steps with impeccable grace and we are fortunate to have her share her journey of her abundant life as well as her confidence and bravery to step into her next life.

        May she have a swift (if she wishes) and favorable rebirth in the land of her choosing.

        With Much love,
        Windhorse

  87. Marilyn, you can look back on your present life with complete satisfaction that you never compromised your integrity. You have lived a full and honourable life! I also want to thank you for telling your experiences in the CoS – I am remote from that scene and every account of Miscavige points only in one direction. It is important to know the truth – and getting to that truth is not so easy at a distance. So thank you for that. Also, although I am not Italian, I am a a huge fan of the country and the people. Its a feast of art and architecture, rolling green hills (Umbria region) and the people are very family orientated (although some familia’s would not be suitable for you ;)) But there is warmth and humour around and about the Italians. My Dad served there during the second world war and told me of a village near Lake Como which he thought the most wonderful place in the world. Great choice – and you will be spoiled for choice! I wish you well for your present and your future and all your futures.

  88. Alex Castillo

    Marilyn!!!!! holy s…t.

    Please email me at castalex2009@hotmail.com.

    Much love

    Alex

  89. I’ve read so many stories on your blog now Marty, that mirror Marilyn’s. There’s a common thread running through them, namely people who believe that the principles of Scientology are beneficial and worthwile but that these benefits are no longer available within the Corporate Church.

    Initially I was surprised that they all tolerated suppression for so long before insisting that being a Scientologist was unrelated to being an IAS member in ‘good standing’ and made a clear personal statement that the organization known as the Church of Scientology was no longer delivering fulfilment of their goals but instead focused solely on the aquisition of wealth and empty glittering edifaces. But I have a better understanding now as to the various reasons why people are reluctant to leave a group that they once enjoyed belonging to.

    Fortunately your blog is a magnet for those independant beings who now know that they are not alone and that leaving the organization does not mean leaving Scientology.

    ‘Dauntless and Defiant’ used to be a slogan for the Sea Org. They are no longer worthy of it and the phrase now belongs to the Independent Scientologists like Marilyn whose courage and resolution in their determination to not slink away quietly into the night is what will keep Scientology alive.

    ‘Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
    Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
    Rage, rage against the dying of the light.’

    To paraphrase Dylan Thomas.

    Regards

    Andrew Robertson

    Wellington New Zealand

  90. Marilyn, you are a person of great integrity and character. Although we never met, your story and words were certainly inspiring. All the best for you. Paolo

  91. As I continue to read the comments here and reflect on Marilyn and her transition, it brought up some thoughts.
    Most of us have been separated by time and space for a long time. And for most that will not change. We will all be transitioning eventually and we will never fully recapture those moments in time we shared, although this blog goes a long way towards mending wounds and rekindling failed purposes.
    My point is we each should do all we can, in this moment, to ensure there are no regrets we could have avoided. Whether its searching for and reaching out to those from our past, or getting trained or audited, or taking a stand, we each have the opportunity to be at cause. Take the opportunity we still have and do something meaningful for yourself so that there are no regrets. Because there comes a point when its just not practical or possible to get it done any more. Nostalgia is a wonderful thing. Regret and failed purposes are not.

  92. Marty,
    Thank you so much for this forum. For Marilyn to be able to post this here and for all of to be able to say our goodbyes to her – it means everything. Not to mention all the other wonderful things we can find here.

  93. This kind of thing is STILL damn hard on a widow. However, the care, compassion, and help of our community shines through.

    Thank you Marilyn! You have brought out the very best in all of us. We embrace you as you have embraced us. Be free … L, Rachel

  94. Lots of new folk replying… that’s on you Marilyn ! :)

  95. Friend of Ed's

    Marilyn, I can fill in the story regarding Ed and what happened – I was told by the guy who was driving the car. His name escapes me, I ‘m pretty sure his first name is Mike, he was an engineer for PAC Estates and worked in the boiler room and Staff Car Repair Unit area. It wasn’t Ken Houston. I tinkered and fixed cars in the area on libs and knew the guys. I heard Ed had been killed in a car crash and got the full story: this engineer had an old Dodge Dart that he was modifying to go fast, and one day he and Ed took a ride up on Angeles Crest Highway. Mike told me he was drunk and driving fast around the curves with Ed in the passenger seat. He rolled the car and went off an embankment. He survived, Ed didn’t. That was the long and short of it.

    I write this in the hopes it fills in any gaps for you. I liked Ed a lot – it pissed me off to no end that he was killed by this jerk.

    I wish you well and a successful new life should you wish to do that.

  96. Theo Sismanides

    Hi Marilyn and thanks a lot for being with us! thanks for the things you have been and we will be doing together!

  97. Here’s a song that reminds me of all the good things on your blog, Marty

  98. Marilyn,
    Thanks so much for the theta comm. Glad you were able to be with true friends at this time of your life.
    Best wishes from all the folks up here at the Life Enhancement Center.
    Les

  99. Thank you for being so brave and an inspiration to all.

  100. scilonschools

    Re Connectiom with true friends and Sanity is wonderful to observe!

  101. Wish you well Marilyn.
    Alternative Medicine is Good,well done on your path on that.
    MMS has been successful on treating Lungs. I dont know if you tried that
    but anyway there is a book written by Jim Humble
    Godspeed Marilyn

  102. miscavigeisscaredofsam

    Marilyn Brewer
    Thank you for your story.
    Love and peace be with you at this time.
    I hope we meet on down the line xxxxxxxxx

  103. miscavigeisscaredofsam

    I hope you added your name to the Indie 500 list. Your name should remain there to remind those who come after that you stood up and helped to do something about it. xxx

  104. Conrad Theiss DMD OT V11 escaped CoS before bancruptsy

    Skip
    I wish you all the best Marilyn. I read this blog regularly and your courage and spiritual awareness is without a match.
    I noted recently found a book that may give you some hope of physical help.
    Check this out: ” World without Cancer” by G. Edward
    Griffin. The book is descriptive of the efects of B17 supplement from apricot seeds and bitter almonds. Of course the FDA and big pharma have attacked the treatment , but what’s new.
    Do well.
    OT V11 that escaped CoS before bankrupting. The freedom is wonderful.

  105. Marilyn,

    You have contributed greatly to the intention to have this religion persist.

    Enjoy your Trip!

    ml,
    David

  106. Hi Marilyn,
    I got well from that in 1995, by a natural therapy – one you can do at home with the help of a friend. If you’re interested, please call me (you can reach me thru Marty).

  107. This was amazing. It saddens me how few can understand it. But I do.

  108. Rest assured Marilyn that we will keep the torch burning and the lights on for your return…. In the future, Scientology will be recognizable to any being looking and searching for the truth…while DM’s altered version of Scientology will not last. (This monster will continue its decay and be gone before you reach 8th grade. Ha.) DM and his alterations and stops are but a blip on the radar screen of time. LRH’s tech does and will survive in the hands of us Indies. All my love, and although I think we have never met this lifetime, I am sure we will met again.

    Robert

  109. Marilyn,
    Good luck on your journey…though I can’t be sure, I think we may have been on the RPF in PAC in the 1980s and you were a bright spot.

  110. Dizzy Mizz Lizzy

    Dear Marilyn! I have read your story and I wish you well! I have been watching Dr. Leonard Coldwell on youtube: “Every Cancer Can be Cured in Weeks.” Unfortunately I don´t know how to transfer it to this page. His own mother was cured from terminal cancer in the liver. I have also read Dr. Vogel´s book about cancer and he says that cancer hates two things: oxygen and heat. Long walks in the forest or along the beach and sitting in a sauna are very beneficial. It appears that cancer can´t survive if a person lives solely on raw organic food. Miracles do happen when a person suddenly changes her mind and does something altogether different! With all my heart I wish for such a miracle for you! Much love from Denmark!

  111. Inspiring.
    I am not sure if this comm will be received directly, but if you read this: Thankyou Marilyn for filling in more truth, and for standing up. It adds even more fuel to the fire of passion to end DM’s reign. You played a huge part in building the base that DM high-jacked…
    If not directly, then thetan to thetan, Thankyou. Keep rocking through time!!!

  112. Marilyn,

    Thank you for the many memories. Worked with you years, Ed too. Some of the greats. We are all heroes of our own lives. You are a hero. I salute you, old friend, with love.

    I feel your peace, joy – and love around you – how we all hoped our lives would go, our highest hopes. You will squish grapes in your toes happily, laughing, soon.

  113. Love and hugs to you, Marilyn!

  114. Marilyn, thank you so much for sharing this with us as it gives a lot of people great hope I am sure for when their time of departing comes. You are so very fortunate to have been able to end it your way causitively and w/o pain, truly amazing! Italy is fantastic, have a great time!

  115. Marilyn,

    Thank you for your service and dedication. Scientology was better with you in it. And I am glad you choose not to be there to empower the real cancer of Scientology; David Miscavige.

    We’ll meet again …
    [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cHcunREYzNY&w=420&h=315%5D

  116. Hi Marilyn… we would talk from time to time when you were at SMI and I was at ASHO. Good to hear from you and also this good news about Tom and Linda auditing you so effectively.

    Isn’t being immortal a gas? And, then, KNOWING it, too…

    Delicious!

  117. Kind thoughts and good wishes to you Marilyn. You certainly were one of the very realistic managers in FB history. I remember your kind face and simple plain spokenness, and your smile. Enjoy yourself!

    Chuck Beatty
    412-260-1170

  118. Hello Marilyn, I remember you well. The first Flag Rep at the new Sac Org on “O” street. It seemed to be a rough time for you, The only SO member in the area and being shunned by the staff and public when you arrived. You gave me the best advice I ever got while on staff “Scientology Orgs of any kind is not Scientology. At best Orgs are points of training delivery of Scientology and through delivery Orgs are vehicles to get Scientology well known and accepted in society.” I’ve never forgotten this and it has paid off many times over time. Many Thanks! I sincerely wish you all my best. Andy

  119. Marilyn, you have such grace and elegance. I wish you good passage. Godspeed.

  120. Dearest Marilyn, I had the pleasure of meeting you at my home some time back when you were in Portland. We shared an evening friends.
    Your write up touched me deeply. I wish you well on your next journey. Given who you are, I am confident it will be quite the adventure! Love, Sherry Katz

  121. Mar,
    Amazing posts from so many people! Job well done! You have my sincerest respect and it has been an honor to call you my friend. Thank you for your endless devotion to family, friends and anyone else that needed you. What a wonderful example you have been in my life! May love and adventure always be in your sights. Until we meet again go with love my friend,
    Dena

  122. Pingback: David Miscavige – Investigator’s Guide to the Criminal History « Watchful Navigator

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